Forgive me for being melodramatic…I realize that no one has written on this blog for quite some time and for the most part its basically coming to an end…but I still feel like I should make this official. I'm once again quitting the blog.
I know, I know, I know, you've heard it all before but, just for fun, let me try this one last time.
There are 4 main reasons I have made this decision, and here they are (in nice numerical order for easy reading):
1. I've lost interest
There was a time when I was passionate about the writing, the joking, the studying…but now I am just not into it. I've tried to sit down and come up with interesting blogs but there is nothing there. I think this is largely due to the fact that I don't really follow what is going on at CBC anymore and don't really care what they say or do. I've clearly made my position known, I think now it's simply…Enough Said.
2. Pastor Joel Stockstill was healed (through surgery yes, but healed all the same).
I wrote a post awhile back that I did not publish about Prophecy in the Church. In that post I stated that if Joel was healed I would stop blogging and apologize to Donna Lasit and her Violin. Even though I did not post it…I meant it. So here goes:
Donna, I would like to apologize for questioning your prophetic playing of the violin over pastor Joel. I jumped at the chance to make an easy joke and didn't leave any room for God to work. Fortunately, I was completely wrong in this circumstance and, despite my negativity, God was able to heal Joel. I never should have questioned you or made fun of your violin. I was wrong and hope that you can forgive me. Truly.
3. My wife would really like me to stop.
Recently, my wonderful wife connected with old friends from CBC and they expressed to her the pain and hurt that they still felt from all the blogging that was going on. My blogging is clearly standing in the way of any possible restitution between them and, at this point, I no longer want to be the cause of any more friction. I'm sure it will take a great deal of time, but hopefully I can prove to them and everyone that I am truly not angry or bitter with CBC and furthermore that I am done bashing them on this (or any other) blog.
4. Grace and the Gospel
I talk a lot about Grace and how badly we are all in need of God's forgiveness. Every single day I realize that I am nothing without the undeserved forgiveness from God. I am a major screw up but thankfully the Gospel of Jesus allows me to be. He has chosen to forgive me and every time I make a mistake Jesus stands in between my sins and the punishment from God that I deserve. As I grow to understand this more and more I realize that I need to try to treat others with the same level of mercy as I have been given. I'm real good at treating "sinners" with grace, but I have struggled (and continue to struggle) with giving "saints" any room to make mistakes. I will continue to work through this as I have a very long journey ahead.
At this time, I would also like to offer this public apology to Ed Schefter and the New York City Church team. In looking back I feel I went overboard in my attacks. Regardless of whether I believe what I said or not…I had no business in saying them. This is another great struggle in my life…I like to say what I am thinking without any regard to other people's feelings. Somehow I need to figure out how to speak my mind, but in a more sensitive manner.
I've truly enjoyed being a part of City Business Church and feel I have made tremendous growth in my understanding of God and the Bible thanks to the number of wonderful discussions that we have engaged in over the past 4+ years. Thank you all for your support and your challenges…our little group is not afraid to stand up and take any fight and I admire that to no end. You are all amazing people…although I may not like you if I knew your real identities.
Keep the faith. Keep the questions.
-Johnpaul