I think its time to end this blog. When we started this blog, my brother wanted to be like Martin Luther. I wanted to be Jon Stewart. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, we stopped sounding like Jon Stewart and started sounding like Lars Larson. As such, I think its time to stop. Let me close by saying thankyou to everyone who read the posts and commented. I have discovered a lot about myself and about how the church deals with dissent. I had a lot of fun writing the different posts. And as me and the Pope are eight-year veterans of the homeschool movement, look for homes-cool blog at a computer near you. Take Care Justin Morton justin.morton@gmail.com

(These are real questions and answers from City Bible’s website.) Why will people come to the new West Campus? Krispy Kreme donuts have just opened a new store by our house! I don’t have to go to Seattle or wait until someone brings me these unique and wonderful delights! It’s a new store, but it’s offering a brand that I know about and trust. This is how we see our new location. We are a trusted “brand” of church with 53 years in our city. We have a proven message, a proven track record, and we will serve the West Campus exactly how we serve here. The difference will be that people can come and will come because it is closer to where they live. We will reach people who would not otherwise drive the distance to our NE location. (Does anyone know if they include Jesus in their brand?) Where will my tithe go if I attend the West Campus? The same place the tithe goes for those attending the East Campus. We are one congregation rather than two seperate churches. (Thank God, I was worried it might go to the poor.) Read the first answer again. They compared their church to a Krispy Kreme store. Krispy Kreme sells donuts; what are they selling? Jesus?

This Holiday season more than most has forced me to reflect on many things, some of those things have come as quite a surprise to some of the people I care for the most. I’ve learned recently that like oil and water, my family and communication are relatively similar. I hope to see all of that change here soon, I know that at least the wheels have already been set in motion for that to begin to happen. I’m positive that I’m no "church brat" nor am I in any way "bitter" as I have been so accussed of thus far. In fact, I thought I had some very insightful information on how the modern church in America could more effectively reach this generation. I grossly underestimated how staunch and stubborn one church could be, I guess. Should that stop me from thinking or talking or writing how I believe? No. I’m held accountable for my actions and the church is held accountable for theirs; I can no more control what they do with this insight than they can control what is said here in this web log. Does it surprise me that such common sense be met with great resistance? Again, no. I know for a fact that some church-goers choose their local church based on who has the best worship or the best Christmas program, and CBC is all too aware of that themselves. It doesn’t surprise me that as they unfolded their 4 part plan during the Forward Together program, two of the four items were aimed purely at attracting other Christians from other churches. The other two more practical items on that list, Evangelism and Retiring the Church Deficite, appear to be mere footnotes or selling points to suckers like me. Yes, I pledged! Not much in their economy, but to me it was a sacrifice. What sold me was the order in which the list was pitched: 1) retire the deficite 2) refurbish the campus 3) simulcast 4) evangelism. Now my first clue that they would not deliver on all four points should have been the fact that evangelism, whatever that means to them, came in last. As it turns out, the satellite service was Frank’s baby, it was his way of finally "planting" a church without losing personnel or revenue. All coins now found their way into the same coffer, without him having to lose any control. Believe me, I’ve seen the Extreme Makeover: Sanctuary Edition and it’s sort of tacky and technologically over the top! Just what are those phallic pillars of light? Perhaps a tribute to 9/11, maybe? I guess we’ll see if the other 2 most important items on the list ever reach completion, but it looks unlikely. Lost in all this is the very reason for the church itself. Why do we go? What is our goal? Who is it for? Is it really a social club for us members only, like a religious Red Hat Society? Heavens, no! Church is many things to many people, but at it’s core it is designed equip Christians to go into all the earth and make disciples, baptizing them and teaching them the life of Christ, his teachings, the Gospel! When it becomes about anything other than that, there needs to be a reckoning and then a turning back towards the face of God. I’ll end this entry by telling a story that my pastor recently told us. There was this new pastor of a young church and his worship pastor. The pastor had heard of this church in one of the poorest areas of LA that had the most tremendous and annointed worship. He sent his worship pastor to go check out this fabled church in Englewood to report on what he saw. He saw a church that was uptempo and rockin’, but he discovered when he arrived that the pastor of this church was in the middle of a building project and construction had already begun. He decided to go see this site and catch a glimpse of the vision this church had for this area. What he found shocked him! In the middle of this God-foresaken neighborhood, filled with highrise one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartments with boarded-up windows he saw the framework for a $56 million dollar church facility being erected. It made him weep, then it made him righteously angered and he wondered, with all those needs surrounding them, how could they consider building such an elaborate temple. This is an extreme microcosm of a nationwide epidemic and we as the church of Christ ought to strive for something more. Our city of Portland is dying from the inside out and the answer to it’s problems isn’t more gadgets or programs or conferences focussed on feeding our already fat faces, the answer is simply Christ at work in the heart of the lost. Delivering Christ to those masses requires no overhead whatsoever, it does however require that we occassionally sacrifice lunch plans with friends to live missionally and take Christ from our pew to the outside world. God bless!

I hope everyone is having as wonderfully awkward a Christmas as megachurchsurvivor. I also tend to agree with Mega that "we just scratched the surface". So, I do not think I am done quite yet. I may have one or two more posts in me.

It can’t be over! We didn’t even get to talk about Presbytery or the Toronto Blessing or any other wind of the Spirit that P.F. has gone chasing after in an effort to keep up with the Jones’ found in the pages of Charisma Magazine. Oh well, maybe I’ll just have to hang on to my "…I see you getting married someday, Oh handmaiden of the Lord" jokes. I bet if they sell one of their $3500 robotic stage lights on eBay they could still have time to make someone’s Holiday really special, but then that’s just the practical side of me thinking out loud. Merry Christmas everyone!

Now that reformed Pope is leaving I feel as though I have lost my spiritual covering. How can I blog with a clear conscience without appointed covering? Some things just simply should not be done. So, it is with some sadness and some relief that I also must bid you adieu. It’s good to know there have been no fist fights, no lawsuits and no bloggers hacking their way into CBC’s plasma screens and posting the address to this site.

This blog has raised many emotions in me. Anger, Frustration, sadness, delight etc. Some of the comments were insightful and amusing others were downright insulting.

Before leaving I would like to take one last shot at stating my thoughts. Perhaps one thing that needs to be said is that there is no doubt in my mind that CBC does many good things. I have heard some great teaching there on marriage, parenting etc. Remember too that the Old Testament law came directly from God, and it accomplished many good things. It got people eating healthy, giving generously and so forth. But, as soon as the law was emphasized to the exclusion of Christ, the law itself became the oppressor. It always left people feeling that they were not trying hard enough, not doing enough and not giving enough. And so it is today. Even the best team ministry, church planting, money giving and city taking teaching in the world will only result in oppression if it is not motivated by and brought back to the person of Christ. If the message is shifted away from this over to money, or character training, or political influence, City Bible Church like any other religious structure will become a means of oppression. All the good character and discipline in the world will not make for a lack of emphasis on Christ and the cross. Even if this blog is utterly wrong and the message of tithing, faith harvest and Malachi’s curse are 100% biblical, these teachings, if allowed to encroach on the preaching of Christ will only bring people into dead religion. Whether this is the leaders intent is really not the point, it is the inevitable result of moving from the core Christian message. The consequences of such an error are larger than we realize. Some of the harshest and most hurtful words Jesus ever spoke to one of his disciples came about when Peter belittled the need for the cross.

“He turned and said to Peter, ‘Get behind Me, Satan…’ ” (Matt 16:23)

The only time Jesus turns to one of his own and addresses him as Satan was over the issue of the necessity of the cross. Sure Peter was well meaning, he was looking out for Jesus, he did not want to see him hurt. The lesson seems simple to me, anyone who does not see the overwhelming need for the cross is ultimately motivated by evil.

I will hesitate and stop short of categorically stating that this is where is CBC is at. I’m not sure that I have the right to make such a judgment call. However, what I am saying is that when financial giving and political influence is emphasized more than the person Christ and the cross it is time to stop and ask ourselves some hard questions.

Thanks for reading, over and out.

I feel that the purpose of this site has been achieved. It was never meant to be a large debate, but simply a forum to call attention to a problem with today’s mega church. I believe that has been accomplished. Whether this was the right avenue or not I don’t know, but I do believe that God has used this site. I hold no bitterness in my heart for anyone @ CBC. I have spoken with many of my friends there and those that actually listened to what I was saying know this is true. Please continue to think about everything you are being told and run it through the Bible. Do not be afraid to call attention to problems that you see, but be open to criticism. We were never trying to “bring down” the church, that was not our intention. If you find truth in the words and songs written here, please don’t run from your church. Try to make a change. Even if they ignore you or tell you to go talk to Lanny, there is always room for you to grow in your faith by stepping out and doing the unpopular. To the leaders @ CBC I would like to say, even if you hate what we do, even if you truly believe that we are tearing down the church, and even if you believe that we are doing the work of the devil, it would be foolish for you to ignore us. This clearly is an issue that strikes a cord with your membership. Look at the counter at the bottom of the screen and you will see that people are interested in this. Continue to preach on giving, it’s a Biblical principle after all, but maybe it’s not the most important thing. If you want to see your congregations truly blessed tell them to give to the poor. This is what Jesus would do. God doesn’t need their money, but do you? Be open to criticism, after all no one is infallible, and the next time someone questions you, stop reaching for your book on “Submission to Authority”, listen to what they have to say, and try to grow. Thank you to all the contributors who have made me laugh. Someday we should get together and write a book. “The prayer of Jabez” was a big hit, how about “The curse of Malachi”. Sounds like an instant classic. I would like to hand out some awards for the best lines written. The THITHY for best song goes to……….Finally Home for his work on “Here comes Satan Claus.” Best Sarcastic Line goes to……. White boy. It was a tie between “It was Monday and I couldn’t even find my Bible” and “THE CURSE OF MALACHI WAS UPON ME AND MY HOUSEHOLD . . . AAAAAAAAAARGH!! Best serious line….. Catalyst for his “If the church is the Bride of Christ, then the bride is having an affair with a guy called "money".” Best story goes to…………Finally Home in “I’m Finally Home” Best Song (espanol) …………….Titho Navidad. Good work virGENmary. Best Quote………………"Poo, I love you. I love Poo." Best line by a dissenter……………. 4 Bitter Boys Best Article goes to………………….Zach Dundas for The Big Bible Blog Battle Best Response to a comment………..megachurchsurvivor with "Anonymous, I applaud you and your bravery! It takes courage to use your real name like you’ve chosen to do, though, I don’t for the life of me know what your parents were thinking at the time of your birth." As I hand out these “Titheys” I realize that there are way to many funny things to comment on. It has been a great time. Next time around we can tackle “Church vs State” and the “NO TITHE LEFT BEHIND ACT” Thank you. I’m Out. -Johnpaul Morton mortonjp14@hotmail.com

Due to the many requests by contributors and readers, I have removed virGen Mary from this blog. While I found his postings amusing, many others did not. And since at this point, I still might have two friends at City Business, I thought it would be best if I removed him now.

Also, I guess now would probably be a good time to explain something about the Morton boys.

You know that filter in your brain that keeps you from saying stupid things… Yeah, we don’t have one. When God was handing out filters he accidentally skipped us. (I think he gave them all to our sister, because she doesn’t say a word).

When something pops into our head, we just blurt it out. Sometimes this works and a statement is met with laughter. However, more often than not, its met with shaking heads, a disapproving stare, and an exasperated mother screaming “What were you thinking?”

And, you know what, that in a nutshell is also how this blog got started. I suggested starting a blog making fun of City Business and my brother said “excellent idea.” Yada, yada, yada… three weeks later I’m arguing with people in the comment section over the role money plays in church management. Oh well…

Finally, let me say that in the interest of keeping Virgen Mary happy, I kept three of his funnier song. Because, although they may offend some, I really really like “Catalyst got run over by a Lasit.”

Merry Christmas

For all of you who are bilingual out there, here is a little espanol for you to enjoy.

It's beginning to look a lot like faith harvest Ev'rywhere you go;

Take a look at the east side, glistening once again With plasma screens and espresso machines aglow.

It's beginning to look a lot like faith harvest, Tithes in ev'ry bowl,

But the prettiest sight to see, is the offering that will be On the domes front door.

 A bunch of silver and gold, at the churches bank Is the wish of Dougie and Frank;

members that will not talk and will not think for themselves Is the hope of Dougie and Frank;

 And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for this blog to finally end.

 It's beginning to look a lot like faith harvest Ev'rywhere you go;

There's a tithe in every service, one in the west side as well, The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the overflow.

It's beginning to look a lot like faith harvest;

Soon the tithe will start, And the thing that will make Frank ring is the tithing that you bring Right within your wallet.