Well, I have decided to speak out . I wanted everyone who knows me to understand where I stand on this whole thing. I didn’t want there to be any question about what I think, and I don’t want people out there saying poor Tanell , or this must be so embarrassing for Tanell , or just wondering where I stand. Let me tell you myself

I stand PROUD!!!

I’m proud to be a Morton. I am so proud of my husband and my family. I think the Morton boys are wonderful, and HILARIOUS!!( Even though their approach might not be the approach I would take.) This may come as a surprise to some people because most of my life I would say I was a follower. But in the last year and a half I have discovered something amazing!

I have a Mind!!

WOW, and its all mine! I can think for myself!!! Hallelujah Praise the Lord!!
I have been freed from just believing what I’m told is “the right thing.” Now I know that it is ok to question things , and there is an amazing book I can go to, to help me find the answers I need. (that book is called The Bible.)

Now I have to admit that it is much more challenging to have to find things out on my own instead of relying on my family or pastor to tell me how I should live. If you haven’t ever tried it I highly suggest it ,it has completely freed me. And as a wise man once said it has taken me off the roller coaster ride Christianity and I ‘m now secure in my salvation.

Now I would like to address one other thing. I think that it is amazing how upset and how personal people are taking this. Don’t get me wrong, I was upset when I read all the comments attacking my family, but that’s all it was, just a little upset.

I believe that when you become so hurt to the depths people are getting hurt by this that there might be an area in your life that maybe you should take a better look at. Romans 1:25 tells us that idols are not sinful things but good and basic things elevated into being ultimate things. Verse 25 says ,they worshiped created things rather than the Creator. When we look to things or people for meaning in life , or our sense of worth or to make us righteous, I believe that becomes our savior or our Salvation. I just think it might be good for the people who are so hurt by this to check their heart and see why this hurts you so deeply. I am in no way am saying that I don’t struggle with idols in my life, I do very much so, but I’m not to proud to ask God what my idols might be and to work on changing that in my life.

In a bible study that I am in I have found that these questions are great questions to ask your self to help recognize an idol in your life. “To who or what do you look to for life- sustaining stability, secretly and acceptance?…What do you really want or except out of life? What would really make you happy? What would make you an acceptable person? Where do you look to for power and success? These questions can really make you think about weather you serve God or idols, weather you look for salvation in Christ or in false saviors.
That is all I really have to say. I think that this is a way to get things out there and to make people think. It is truly sad that some people have taken it so personally.
Proud Morton,
Tanell

Lately, there have been a lot of comments about meeting with church leaders over coffee.

From what I hear, City Business leaders think Christ is most powerful whenever there is a strong aroma of French Vanilla in the air. The French gives Christ his strength and the Vanilla gives him his spirituality… …at least that’s what I’m told.

However, no matter what they think, this conversation is never gonna happen. At least not with me.

I spent four years attending the high school on the hill, and as such, I have a little experience meeting with church elders. You circulate a petition demanding they fire the principal for his incompetence, and it pretty much guarantees you a one way ticket to the church offices.

On the other hand, you drop the word “porn” during a high school graduation speech, and it guarantees no one ever speaks to you again, but I digress.

For those of you who are unaware, let me give you a rundown of how a typical meeting with the church leadership goes.

Upon hearing of your transgression, they will promptly call you into their large conference room. You will walk into the room alone, a little nervous, and regretting every sin you’ve ever committed. You will also notice six or seven elders on one side of the table and you on the other. (Church leaders also believe in safety in numbers. Its just a smart concept.)

They then sit you down, calmly explain what you have done wrong, how much you have hurt them and how badly you need to repent. Next, because it must be written in the church leader handbook, they will tell you how much they love you.

This is always an unnerving experience for a young kid; being surrounded by 40 year-old men professing their love. In fact, I will go so far as to say, it is the most awkward situation in the world. And by the time it is over, you are sweating fiendishly and frantically searching for the nearest exit.

So you panic, you promise them whatever they want. You apologize. You swear you’ll never do it again. Yes, you’ll join a small group. Yes, you’ll raise your hands more during worship. You want jumping up and down during cool worship songs. I’m your man. Call me tigger. I don’t care, JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Because what generally follows can only be described as the most homoerotic experience of a young man’s life. In closing the meeting, they will decide to pray with you. (You can’t close a meeting without prayer. It’s in the Bible, I’m sure). And someone always suggests, that to really get the full affect of the prayer, they should lay their hands on you.

So, there you are. 15 years old, just trying to make it through the tough teen years, and you are surrounded by eight older men, all with their hands on you, speaking in some crazy language.

I promise you, there is less sexual tension in a gay bar, then at that particular moment.

And that my friends, is why I’m not sitting down with anyone for coffee. I’ve had my gay quota for a lifetime, thank you very much.

(of course, not there’s anything wrong with that.)

Now, in the interesting of avoiding a lawsuit, let me say that I am not suggesting any of these men did anything wrong or even acted inappropriately. I am just saying that what passes off as earnest prayer, often turns into a ridiculously uncomfortable situation.

So again, I’m not having coffee with you….

…of course, if you offered to buy me a beer… well… that’s a different story….

On 12/4/04 I posted a comment called TITHE STRONG. In this post was a quote from Church Gal saying

“I’m not satisfied doing it my own way, I’m not satisfied to ‘Do Church’ and walk away. That’s why I wear my TITHE STRONG bracelet. It makes me feel better about myself. ”
-CHURCH GAL (a 5 year CBC survivor)

I thought that it would be obvious that the comment was clearly a fabrication from my mind, but it appears as though some people took it seriously. Allow me to clarify.

Church Gal does not own a Tithe Strong bracelet.
Tithe Strong bracelets do not exist.
I wrote that quote.

I would like to wish the mole a happy birthday. Today is her birthday and she is 14 years old. If you see her around, please give her your best. Happy Birthday Mole.

Our mole went to Church on Sunday, and she told me they actually preached about Jesus.

Several members of the congregation were shocked to hear a sermon about Jesus. Leading to this exchange between two members of the church:

Member #1: (whispering to friend) Whose this Jesus they’re talking about?

Member #2: Uh, I think he has something to do with Christianity or something like that. I don’t really know though, since this is the first I’ve heard of him here.

Member #1: Well, what am I supposed to do with all my money this week? No one has told me to give it to them.

Member #2: (shrugging) I don’t know, I suppose you could spend it on yourself.

Member #1: AND GO TO HELL! No way.

(preaching continues)

Member #1: (leaning back over to her friend) You know, when I’m eating at a restaurant and I get a free meal, I usually just give the waiter a really good tip. You know to compensate for the free meal.

Member #2: Yeah, so.

Member #1: Well, since I guess the sermon is free today. I think I might just tip the usher.

Member #2: Good idea.

[Editors Note: I owe this idea to The Holy Trinity (of blogging).]

We would like to thank Church Gal for releasing this letter to us. It was her last contact with the Reformed Pope, before he past away. Please send your prayers and support to her and her family at this difficult time.

Catalyst was right. The proud soldier is dead. I appreciate all the support that you all have given me over the past few weeks but I regret to inform each of you that it is over. It is finished. Anonymous was right. CBC was right. And according to one pastor, out of the 395,000 churches in America 390,000 of them believe the way CBC does. How could I possibly think that I had received some sort of special word from God? It was foolish and prideful.

CBC doesn’t preach “give to get”, they simply preach the Word of God. Give and God will give back to you. That principle is undeniable. I clearly caused a lot of people pain and anguish, people that love me so much that my actions brought them to tears. To each of those people I would like to say………………………… “No”.

Do you really think that you can manipulate me into running? No.

Do you really think that you can guilt me into stopping? No.

(sing this next part) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no God’s not dead, but he’s alive. God’s not dead, but he’s alive. God’s not dead, but he’s alive and I feel him all over me. I feel Him in the street, I feel Him in the air, I feel Him in this blog, yes I feel Him all over me. No, no, no, no, ….(fade song out slowly)

I am sorry that you think this is tearing the church apart. I am sorry that you don’t understand my sarcasm. I am sorry that you refuse to accept that there might be some truth to what we have been saying. But most of all I am sorry that you take yourself so seriously. Lighten up. You might find life to be a bit easier to handle if you can laugh at yourself.

“I saw three checks come mailing in” that’s funny, but maybe you don’t get it. “I saw three ships come sailing in” is a Christmas song. We changed the words. Hilarious. I’m laughing right now as I write this. My heart is light. I would like to sing another song. Everyone join in. BE BOLD! BE STRONG! For the Lord thy God is with thee. BE BOLD! BE STRONG! For the Lord thy God is with thee. I am not afraid, no, no, no. I am not dismayed no, no, no. I’m walking in faith and victory, COME ON, I’m walking in faith and victory for the Lord thy God is with me. (end song)

This is where I get serious. I do not want this site to cause bitterness in anyone’s heart. That truly is not my intention. My intention is not for people to leave CBC. My intention is to cause people to think about what is being said. Question everything, and run it through the Bible. Your faith will grow, and you will be blessed. It does not matter which church you go to. There is no perfect church. Everyone, everywhere take the time to stop and run things through the Bible.
If you are struggling with bitterness, go and reconcile it. If you hear something that doesn’t sound right, don’t be afraid to ask questions. And for goodness sake, everyone, lighten up.

What happens when a church won’t let it’s members question anything? The congregation becomes totally dependant on their pastors for everything. They look to them for complete guidance and they lack their own personal convictions. Imagine what happens when that pastor is not around? This is a dangerous road to walk on.
Pastors of this nation, I challenge you to encourage your congregations to question your teaching (Ombudsmen of America unite). Let them dig into the Word of God to study what you are preaching. How harmful can that be.

On a more personal note, I really struggled with what the right response was going to be.
I was uncertain whether our use of sarcasm was an appropriate way to raise questions in the church or not. After much deliberation I decided that there are many ways to communicate your thoughts, and my generation really responds well to sarcasm. There for I shall continue in my ways.

A blog is nothing more than an online journal. Please understand that this is simply a few men’s opinions. I encourage you all to question everything that we write. Criticism is appreciated as much as support. The important thing to me is that we are all thinking about what we really believe.

Catalyst, hand me my sword.

Honestly folks, we’re running out of tithing jokes. We’ve got a couple more ideas but it looks like they are going to take awhile to formulate.

So, while we work on our next idea, here is an interesting article in Time Magazine about blogging efforts across the nation in the last year.

I noticed some interesting parallels between a lot of the national blogs and our blog.

This may be hard to believe, but here at City Business (the blog) we actually support tithing. We believe tithing teaches the importance of making sacrifices and helps support your home church as well.

We also believe that CBC is a good church. (well, at least I do) And we believe that the members of CBC are compassionate, caring people. (well, most of them)

We just believe their teachings on wealth and giving are not Biblical. As such, we are asking all City Business Church members to take their upcoming tithe and instead of sending it to the church, we are asking that they send it to the Portland Rescue Mission or another worthy charity.

We ask that you do this, until the CBC pastors and leaders acknowledge their teachings on money are inconsistent with the Bible.

Editors Note: I would feel really hypocritical asking people to give money, if I myself wasn’t giving. So although I haven’t tithed in probably five years, tomorrow, I will be sending a check to the Portland Rescue Mission. I received a rather nice Christmas bonus last week, and the least I can do is share some of my blessing with others. I’m not saying this to toot my own horn. I’m just practicing what I preach.

Here is the address to the Portland Rescue Mission:

Portland Rescue Mission
111 West Burnside St.
Portland, Oregon 97209
Phone: 503-227-0421
Fax: 503-227-1126

In a recent comment, one of our faithful readers (olderwiserha) recommended that the church establish an ombudsman position. This way the church would have someone to serve as a liaison between the congregation and the pastoral staff.

Specifically Olderwiser said, “The pastor could use an ombudsman who takes peoples comments good and ill, directly to him. The ombudsman’s loyalty is to the church and therefore equal to both the pastor and the congregation,”

I thought this was an excellent idea, and I looked up the meaning of ombudsman on www.dictionary.com:

An ombudsman is

A man who investigates complaints and mediates fair settlements, especially between aggrieved parties such as consumers or students and an institution or organization.

I believe this is a position that could be very beneficial to CBC. The elders would have a mediator to listen to greivances, and the congregation would have a person to whom they could air their complaints. Complaints like,

“Ummm, pastor, you have spent the last eight years preaching on tithing. And I want to say thank you for that. But, uh… I get it. I tithe. Now please, for the love of all that is sacred and holy, could I hear a sermon on Moses or maybe even a minor prophet like Ezekial?”

For what its worth, I think this blog is serving as a kind of ombudsman, in the sense that we post complaints and the church leadership reads them. But if we are acting as an ombudsman, then we are the worst ombudsman in the world. A good advocate does not mock those whom he is attempting to represent.

And so today, December 19, 2004, I nominate Olderwiserha as official CBC ombudsman. He is a thoughtful man, who will represent both the congregation and pastoral staff with humility. I think you could learn a lot from him.

I hope you take this suggestion seriously.

(If you are having trouble locating Olderwiser, I suggest you begin by searching every convenience store in a five mile radius of North Portland.

I suspect you will find him hunched over a pinball machine, with empty cartons of chocolate milk strewn about the floor beneath him. Wait a few minutes and inevitably you will see him bang the side of the machine and mutter to himself. “This game is ridiculous.”

And then, recognizing that the Pinball Gods are no longer shining on him, he will begin yelling over his shoulder at the cashier. “The magnets on this machine are way too strong. Its impossible to win.”

I offer this story just to say, keep him away from the pinball machines and you should be alright.)

I am going out tonight. I have a Christmas Party to attend, and I plan on celebrating by emulating Christ’s first miracle. If I am silent tomorrow, you know the reason why.