I asked Jesus how much He love me?
Posted on February 18th, 2005 by catalyst into the Uncategorized categoryHe said, “This much”. Stretched out both hands and hollered Jackpot!
Actually that’s just what I was thinking when I hit the Jackpot at the Texas Holdem table last week in Vegas. For those Texas Hold’em fans out there, I think you might enjoy this story.
So last weekend, I’m in Vegas with my equally degenerate brother Jesse, who when I lost $200 in 2 hours at the BlackJack table told me not to worry, and to keep playing, because I would surely win it all back. His exact quote to me was, “There were times at LaCenter I would kill to be down only $200.”
Unfortunately the dealer didn’t have “win it all back” in mind and by the next evening I had stretched that $200 loss into a $400 loss and I had resigned myself to continue to drive a car with a broken muffler. (Oddly enough though, I was still having a blast. Win or Lose, I love Vegas.)
The last night, in a final act of desperation, I sit down at a Texas Hold’em table with my last $100. I’m playing okay and staying about even, when the next hand dealt to me are double Aces. I’m exstatic, and trying to hide my excitement. I’m definately winning this pot.
(I didn’t know this at the time but the guy across from me had been dealt two kings. So he’s pretty happy too. Unfortunately for him, not as happy as me.)
The flop is laid down and its an 8, and the other two Aces. So, now I’m staring at four Aces and praying to God someone else has a good hand. The guy across from me, with the two Kings, bets the max and I follow with the max. I can’t push my money out there fast enough.
The dealer lays down the next two cards and they are both Kings. So now the guy across from me has four kings, and he throws in a huge bet… and I match his bet, trying desperately not to laugh or smile.
Betting ends, and the dealer says lay down your cards. My opponent throws down his four Kings… the crowd oohs, I throw down my four Aces… and the crowd went wild. The dealer screamed Jackpot. And I started highfiving everyone at the table…
I won $400 bucks. And thought, “Wow, Jesus must love me.”
I also tipped my dealer $40. He said thanks, and mentioned that most people don’t tip that much. But I was like, “Yeah well, growing up I was taught to tithe, and since I rarely go to church, I figure the least I could do was tithe to you.”
Of course there were still several more hours left in Vegas.. so, by the time I got on the plane to fly home I was down $100 bucks for the weekend, but still…. good times…. good times….
There’s a lesson to this story… what that lesson is I couldn’t tell you, but there’s definately a lesson here somewhere.
(Oh and for those who are feeling sorry for my opponent. The $400 bucks came from the Casino, for having a hand with Four Aces. I only got like $30 off the guy with Four Kings.)
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February 18th, 2005 at 9:25 am
Cat, I’m totally addicted to Hold ‘Em, I admit, so that story was like hearing about the existence of Bigfoot or perhaps Atlantis. What a huge hand! I think I would have peed my pants right then and there.
February 18th, 2005 at 6:43 pm
Funny thing I asked Jesus the same question right before I put my money on Duke to beat Maryland.
It turns out he doesn’t love me that much.
February 19th, 2005 at 8:52 am
The lesson is: God loves you
February 19th, 2005 at 8:59 am
The lesson is: 4 Aces beat 4 Kings
on’t bet your salvation on 4 kings or anything else other than the blood/sacrifice/love of Jesus.
: the goodness of God leads to repentence
February 19th, 2005 at 9:20 am
Do not forget the lesson about Maryland always playing Duke tough.
Otherwise the curse of Malachi will get ya.
February 19th, 2005 at 11:11 am
You know Catalyst,
I can take your comments on tithing, even though they are full of hatred and bitterness; and I can even handle your thoughts on drinking in church, despite the Bible’s clear position on alcohol, but now you have gone too far.
Gambling is an abomination. There is no way around it. I have discussed this with the City Business Church elders and we are forced to ex-communicate you for your wicked ways.
From this point on CBC no longer loves you and neither does God.
I pity your parents
February 19th, 2005 at 2:17 pm
This post has been removed by the author.
February 19th, 2005 at 5:21 pm
And your heart’s is as dark as night, and if your a christian than
I don’t want to be one.
Oh wait, or is that what they told me?
February 19th, 2005 at 8:05 pm
Way to go catalast, Lost 400 dollors huh if not more. To bad you missed my brother was in vagas around the same day you were. Maybe he was the one with 4 kings.Was he big.
I’m sure your mom is wrighting this story on the wall for family get togethers. I must say it got me laughing. Sorry you have to countinue to ride with a hole in your muffler. Maybe you can get city business church to sponser you as a misionary. Well that might not work as Reformed pope has outcast you. Maybe you can wright as a outcast of CBC now.
Peace Shalom
October 28th, 2005 at 9:21 am
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