Tithe Madness
Posted on February 22nd, 2005 by Reformed Pope into the Comments From Others categoryThis was just emailed to me from a past blogger who has recently found his home. Enjoy.
Hello everyone,
It has been a while but I couldn’t sit idly by and allow this time of year to pass without unveiling the newest fad to sweep by City Business’s door in a long time.
It’s called Tithe Madness. Much like college basketball there is a 64 slot bracket. One spot for the individual tither. The top 64 tithers make the cut. You can either be ranked high enough to be voted in or win your cell group tithe title. We can call this Selection Sunday. Once the 64 tithers are selected and the brackets in place the following Sunday will be round one, 32 tithers from the East side against 32 tithers from the West side. Tithers will battle it out to see who can tithe more.
Kid needs braces? Well why not use the money to make it to the sweet sixteen. Thinking of re-mortgaging your house? You might want to wait until the finals to drop that bomb on the opposing tither.
The final bout will be held at a neutral site. Pastor Frank will officiate. Whoever has enough money reserved to give will be this years raining tithe champion.
Remember if your bank roll is too small to compete you can always wager on who will be champion. If you’re right you can use your winnings to compete next year.
So get your straight jackets and brackets ready. It going to be Tithe Madness.
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February 22nd, 2005 at 2:10 pm
Here are my picks for the Final Four
Out of the West I have the Zimmers edging the Spinnetts in a close battle.
From the east I pick an interesting duel of families.
Jim and Linda Hargis defeat Scott and Tiffany Sneer in overtime.
It’s going to be a close final, but I belive that experiance wins over excitement.
Final Total - Hargis Family $17,150 - Zimmer Family $16,995.
February 22nd, 2005 at 2:42 pm
I have a suprising upset with a sixteen seed (Morton) upsetting a number one seed (Louman).
(Some inside info says that Morton is about to hit it big in internet paintings.)
February 22nd, 2005 at 3:19 pm
Call me a front runner but I’m going with Rachinski in a blow out over Nashif.
February 22nd, 2005 at 3:36 pm
No, I’m afraid Rachinski is the Kansas of tithing. They’ve got great stuff all year, but when it comes to the playoffs they always choke.
Look for a 2nd round upset #8 seed Leary to take down #1 seed Rachinski.
February 22nd, 2005 at 3:44 pm
Are you kidding me, are you kidding me?! Give the Zimmer’s the benefit of the doubt, they’re always tithing at the top of their game when it counts in the latter stages of tournament giving. Given their longer and more established giving tradition, I’ve got the Zimmers over the Hargis’ by at least a couple thou’.
February 22nd, 2005 at 4:38 pm
I dunno. I hear pet sales are going to be down in the next quarter.
February 22nd, 2005 at 7:39 pm
Rachinski over Nashif, wow you sure are a front runner.
How did you get your picks?
Did you just take the top names of the Member Tithing Average report.
February 22nd, 2005 at 8:02 pm
Guys, guys, you are thinking too small. Why limit this to CBC? Other churches should be included in this bracket! What about City Church in Seattle? I heard Wendell say once that they were waiting for Bill Gates to get saved so they could receive his tithe (not joking). He said he would share — awwwww.
But after all is said and done, I predict a surprise upset by the widow with the two cents.
February 22nd, 2005 at 8:05 pm
This raises a good question.
Is it the largest dollar amount or the largest percentage of income?
HMMNN…yeah, it’s CBC so I gotta go with largest dollar amount.
February 23rd, 2005 at 9:28 am
You guys are jerks.
February 23rd, 2005 at 9:38 am
Yes, you are jerks.
Funny, hilarious, jerks.
February 23rd, 2005 at 10:10 am
OK, stop me if you don’t think this is funny.
I’ve got a sleeper pick for you. Right now they are on the bubble, but if they can make it through bracket buster Sunday I think they’ve got a chance.
Watch out for the Fandrich family. They have quite the diaper dandy on their squad, who has struggled throughout the year, but is now poised to make a late season push. Word on the street is that he just received a big promotion and is giving strong to end the season.
There’s a good chance that they will take their Cell Group Tithe Championship and win the automatic bid. When they do look for them to upset.
February 23rd, 2005 at 2:02 pm
uh ohhh!! They called us jerks. I guess we better stop now.
February 23rd, 2005 at 3:17 pm
How do you know WE didn’t call us jerks?
April 17th, 2005 at 10:25 pm
You guys are hilarious because even though this is a joke, it’s totally true. One thing I have noticed about CBC (I grew up there and went to high school with you guys, but left a couple of years ago) is that the more money you have (which means more tithes) the more popular you are!
I’m not really sure if you should be putting people’s names into the blog. I recognize all of these names.