I apologize if this blog has lost it’s humor. I’m just not that motivated to make fun of CBC any more. I’m out of ideas. Anyway, a reader asked me to write about my search for a wife, so perhaps I’ll stay on that theme for while… anyway, here are some thoughts.

As a young Christian man, I have always known that it is my duty to find a wife and find a wife quickly. Christians will tell you that it is okay to be single, but they do not really believe it. If you are 30 and you are not married, then you “must” have serious flaws. When young Christians finally get married, you can practically see the relief on their face. You can tell they are thinking, “Thank God. I’m not part of that desperate singles group anymore.” This is not the best reason to get married if you ask me, but whatever…

As for me, I’m 27 years old, 30 is fast approaching, and the closest thing I have to a wife is the girl on the bus who insists on sitting next to me every morning. (I’ve tried every passive aggressive trick I know to ditch her: ignoring her, staring out the window, pretending to be sick, giving her the “are you kidding me” stare. None of it works. I even gave her a fake phone number. But she insisted on calling the number on the bus. And when my cell phone which I was holding in my hand, didn’t ring, she got kind of suspicious. Not suspicious enough to leave me alone, just suspicious enough to keep giving me dirty looks when she sits next to me.)

Nevertheless, the real reason I have not found a wife is because I do not treat “marriage” like it is a game of hide and seek. I’m not looking for my wife behind every tree and bush.

I know it is hard for married people to believe, because they are so “unbelievably happy” (NOT). But I rather like being single. I spent 18 years of my life in a house with seven kids, two parents, every animal known to man, and multiple homeless people that my father was trying to help. By the time I left home at 18, I was just so happy to be alone, I would kick girls out of my room in college. They would give me that “we’re-going-to-spend-every-minute-of-every-day-together” look, and I would give them the “you-look-just-like-Glenn-Close-from-Basic-Instinct” look and then run out the back.

In addition, the divorce rate in America is over %50. You know why. It’s not the moral degredation of society. It is because people are getting married for all the wrong reasons. They are getting married because they don’t want to be alone or because they feel they are supposed to be married. Again, not good reasons TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE!

Anyway, I’m not worried. I will get married, and I will marry my best friend. It’s just that unfortunately, at this point, all of my best friends have been guys and I’m not gay. But I know I will find a wife who is perfect for me. And maybe I won’t “find” her until I am 40. But if it takes that long, so be it. I’ll wait. There’s no rush; my happiness is too valuable.

Anyway, those are currently my thoughts on marriage. Immature perhaps, but that’s me.

(Side note: I’m toying with the idea of joining e-harmony and then blogging the results of all my dates? That would be a fun blog don’t you think? I would obviously keep the girls names anonymous, to protect the innocent. But it still might be fun. Tell me what you think.)

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