The Star Spangled Tithe

This Tuesday is Flag Day and Independence Day is right around the corner.

In honor of these great American holidays (or in order to mock a great Christian tradition) I have re-written the words to our national anthem. I will admit that it isn’t very original, but you will admit that it is funny.

Sometimes (read: always) we go for the cheap laugh in place of the intellectual comment. This post is no different and so I give you…

“The Star Spangled Tithe”

Oh, say, can you see, by our dome’s early light,
What so proudly we gave at “Super Sunday’s” last meeting?

Whose broad gift’s and bright tithes, shouts of “Let’s go all night”,
O'er the new carpet we watched, were so plasma screening?
And the dollars green glare, “Faith Harvest” bursting in air,
Gave proof thro' the night that Malachi 3:8 was still there.
O say, does that “Forward Together” banner yet wave
O'er the Butte of Rocky and the money we gave?

*a special thanks goes out to Finally Home for his inspirational work on this piece.

5 thoughts on “The Star Spangled Tithe

  1. Wow, one comment in two days Johnpaul – from your brother. Good to see you still have it! Maybe you should stay retired.

  2. This blog reminds me of the Mike Tyson boxing match on Saturday night: Tyson retired (quit) after the sixth round because he realized he is just a shell of the man who dominated the boxing world in the late 80′s.

    This blog needs to do the same thing as Tyson: retire (quit) because it too is simply just a shell of what it was during the early part of this year. Be smart…hang it up.

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