I would like to study the word AGAIN. Sometimes people on this blog misuse the word AGAIN and I would like to help clarify what it really means.

First I will use it in a sentence and then we can disect that sentence and see if we can all come to an agreement on what it means:

Here is your sentence: (taken from a comment by Cattle List)
“RP, you call me an idiot once more and I’m gonna kick your skinny ass again.”

Let’s look at the definition of the word AGAIN (from www.dictionary.com)

AGAIN:
1. Once more; anew: Try again.
2. To a previous place, position, or state: left home but went back again.
3. Furthermore; moreover: Again, we need to collect more data.
4. On the other hand: She might go, and again she might not.
5. In return; in response: paid him again.

As we can all see, the word AGAIN implies doing something that you have done before. In order for this statement to be true, the author would have had to previously kick RP’s ass. I happen to know RP rather well, and he is having a hard time remembering ever having his ass kicked.

Maybe what you meant to say was “RP, you call me an idiot once more and I’m gonna push your skinny ass again.” Or perhaps “…I’m gonna chase your skinny ass again.” I must admit that I have had my “ass” both pushed and chased, but never kicked.

Now lets look at another word and sentence:

“No, the problem is that you [Cattle List] are an idiot.”

IDIOT:(also from http://www.dictionary.com/.com)
1. A foolish or stupid person.
2. A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers.

I don’t think it is possible to describe you any better than definition #2. It clearly was written with you in mind. In fact I find it so funny that I’m going to write it again:

IDIOT: A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers.

(Cattle List, it would only be fair for me to let you post a response on the front page of this blog, so if you are interested in telling the “ass kicking” story or simply wanting to have your chance to reply, please email it to me @ mortonjp14@hotmail.com and I will post it for you. I want you to know that we may be harsh, but we are also fair)

Okay, this blog is getting kind of heated. And in the interest of calming everyon down, I’m going to post something that has nothing to do with City Bible. I recently bought an Ipod shuffle, and while I love it. There are a few quirks. I posted my thoughts on craigslist.org, and they made the "best of" section. JP thought it was funny enough for the blog, so here we go.

My Ipod Shuffle thinks I’m Gay

Dear Ipod:

After spending a few weeks with you, I am beginng to fear you think I am a gay man. (of course, not that there’s anything wrong with that)

I recognize that there are several up tempo dance songs on my playlist, along with a few Madonna and Britney Spears tracks. However, I am curious why whenever I choose the shuffle mode, you select these songs and these songs only to play. I like Madonna, I do… I just don’t need 10 consecutive hours of her. And yes, the Pet Shop Boys are fun, but I don’t really want to hear "West End Girls" on a 30 minute loop.

The first time I thought it was just a coincidence, but lately I have been wondering if perhaps you think I spend my entire day singing and dancing like some flamboyant queen or like Ellen on that ridiculous American Express commercial. (Again, not there’s anything wrong with that)… ummmm, because I really don’t dance and sing that much, and sometimes just like to listen to a depressing song about suicide.

Anyway, if there is any chance you could include a little Wilco or Arcade Fire, next time you choose the mix, I would be very appreciative.

Sincerely,

-Your Listener

The following is a section of questions on City Bible’s application for camp counselor. All potential counselors must fill out an application.

HISTORY OF LEGAL INVOLVEMENT

Have you ever been convicted of criminal offense? “Yes “No, if yes explain________

Have you ever been involved in homosexual activity? “Yes “No, if yes explain_______

Have you ever been charged with child abuse or neglect? “Yes “No, if yes explain________

Once again, lets play… which of these is not like the other.

I hate bumper stickers. They annoy me. I think it’s that every time I try to read one I only can see part of it. Then I find myself chasing someone all around town trying to figure out what the punch line is. Of course it’s never funny and that makes me angry.

However this morning on the way into work I saw one I liked. I didn’t really like the sticker, but I liked what it said. It was a quote by Ghandi. I know very little about Ghandi and maybe he says things like this all the time, but it was new to me. The sticker read:

I like your Christ but not your Christians, they are not like your Christ. – Ghandi

This was a good quote, but I found an even better one online “I would have been a Christian, had it not been for Christians” – Ghandi. I said before that I don’t know much about Ghandi, but I think I like him. I’ve often said “I hate Christians”, but that causes a lot of problems for me. I think when Ghandi makes those statements what he’s really saying is “I hate Christians”, but he’s doing it in such a nice, Christ-like way.

This blog could probably learn a lot from him.

City Bible’s Summer Camp is coming up in August. They have a brochure they sent out to all the campers, explaining the details of the camp. In the brochure is a section explaining what not to bring to camp.

WHAT NOT TO BRING

• firearms, knives, weapons…
• firecrackers
• alcohol
• drugs
• walkmans, cd players, radios,
• secular music

Which of these is not like the other?

According Jack Bogdanski and his blog the Catholic church has decided to add their parishoners as defendants in a sex abuse lawsuit. The Catholic church is being sued for allowing its priests to molest children, and instead of just settling the case, the church is now making all of its parishoners defendants. Someone better warn Samuel John Klein.

Jack has some pretty interesting observations:

Is causing further anxiety and outrage on the part of rank-and-file Catholics the latest archdiocesan strategy? Is the idea now to try to get the folks in the pews all upset at those evil, evil former altar boys who dare to point their fingers at the priests who molested them as children?

Jack further argues that the parishoners/defendants could concede the case, and thus force the Catholic church to pay the accusers. In a sense saying,

“Stop using us as a shield, Archbishop Vlazny. Take your lumps, pay our debts, and let’s get it over with. Mortgage some property and sell some more, and settle these cases.

It probably wouldn’t have much legal consequence. But it wouldn’t seem at all inconsistent with something a very bright man once said: “Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice, for they shall be satisfied.”

Its Sunday, and I haven’t posted in a while, which means JP is probably sitting at home fuming over my lack of dedication to the blog. So in an effort to head off an angry phone call, I am going to discuss my favorite website: www.genunleashed.com

They recently posted comments from kids who attended the 2005 Gen Conference. Nothing pleases me more, than reading these comments. I love ‘em. Anyway a couple of them caught my interest, so here are my reactions to the Gen Unleashed comments.

Jordan - Generation Unleashed acts as a Furnace or Catalyst that speedily puts us in a place of surreneder and openess to what the spirit is doing. A catalyst that puts us in an open place to experience the awesome heart of God and forever be changed. - GU 2005

Is Jordan mocking me? I totally think he’s mocking me. This is GU’s way of getting back at this blog… to which I say, "Touche, Gen Church Ministries… …touche."

Gabe - Today, my first day back in school, people were amazed, and kept asking me what I was on. I told them it was the Holy Spirit. - GU 2005

Highschool kids really are that stupid. The kids probably asked Gabe where they could score some "Holy Spirit". I remember getting back from these functions, and people would be like, "Wow you’re so happy. What happened?" And I’d be like, "I just got to spend 5 days away from my family. Five whole days. It was the best… oh, thank you Jesus, …Praise the Lord."

Cassie - I attend Willamette University, an extremely liberal school and have been afraid to say things at times when prompted. Doug’s sharing of the testimony regarding involvement in Measure 36 really convicted and encouraged me. - GU 2005

If you think its difficult to be a Christian in a liberal school, then you should probably be sympathetic to what its like to be gay. You don’t have to support homosexuality, but you should probably still accept them. And if you speak out against homosexuality, but ignore the million other sins your classmates are committing, well, its kind of hypocritical.

Also, I attended Willamette as well, and yes its liberal. But almost all colleges are liberal. You know why, because its full of 19-22 year old kids who are away from home for the first time. I remember my first day at college, and the Resident Advisor was like, "Listen there aren’t a lot of rules here. Basically, please don’t break the law. Please don’t break any of my stuff. And for the love of all that is sacred and holy, "Please, no fornicating in the hallway." I didn’t really understand that rule, until my roomate came home from a party one night with some girl and they started having sex in the bed right next to mine. I promptly kicked them out of the room and sent them to the hallway. I figured, "better the hallway, than right next to my face."

Glenn - I love your band and I think that Jeremy Scott and Donna Lasit are awesome! - GU 2005.

I’m pretty sure Jeremy Scott wrote this one.

Alright, well great… that’s my post for the day… good times… good times…

(Oh and all the stuff about my family and JP. Its all a joke. I love my family. And me and JP aren’t really fighting. Its just funnier when I write it that way.)

Let’s pray:

Our Father who meets in the Compaq Center,
Hallowed be Your name
Your New Stadium come, Your will be done
On earth as it is in Houston
Give us this day a Mercedes-Benz
And give us Your debts, as You have given us your debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from poverty.
For Yours is the Kingdome and the Staples Center and Madison Square Garden forever.
Amen.

There is an article in today’s NYT about Samuel John Klein’s best friend, Joel Osteen. Apparently, Joel and his church just moved into the Compaq Center in Houston. The article isn’t that interesting, but there is one quote that stands out.

Mr. Osteen’s rationale for spending $95 million on a church rather than on ministering to the poor was typically upbeat. “My philosophy,” he said, “is that that $95 million will be nothing compared to what we’ll do when we have 100,000 people.”

Somehow, I don’t believe him.

There is an incredible article in the Washington Post this morning. The author, a black man from Chicago, shares why he feels disconnected from church. I challenge you to read the entire article, but here are some excerpts:

I love God and I love the church. I know church-speak and feel as comfortable shouting hallelujahs and amens and lifting my hands in the sanctuary as I do putting on my socks. I have danced in the spirit, spoken in tongues, and proclaimed Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior.

Yet, I now feel disconnected. I am disconnected. Not necessarily from God, but from the church.

The church seems to have turned inward. It seems to exist for the perpetuation of itself — for the erecting of grandiose temples of brick and mortar and for the care of pastors and the salaried administrative staff. Not long ago, a preacher friend confided: “The black church is in a struggle for its collective soul — to find itself in an age when it is consumed by the God of materialism.”

But even in an age of preacher as celebrity, it is not the evolution of a Bling Bling Gospel that most disheartens me. It is the loss of the church’s heart and soul: the mission to seek and to save lost souls through the power of the Gospel and a risen savior. As the homicide toll in black neighborhoods has swelled, I’ve wondered why churches or pastors have seldom taken a stand or ventured beyond the doors of their sanctuaries to bring healing and hope to the community — whether to stem the tide of violence and drugs, or to help cure poverty and homelessness or any number of issues that envelop ailing black communities.

I’m pretty sure that if the author crossed out “black” and replaced it with “white”, “hispanic” or “asian” he would be just as accurate.

Update - Monday 7:00 am: As of this morning, this article was the second most emailed article from yesterday’s Sunday Post. Makes me think we’re not alone in our beliefs.