What not to bring?
Posted on July 27th, 2005 by catalyst into the Uncategorized categoryCity Bible’s Summer Camp is coming up in August. They have a brochure they sent out to all the campers, explaining the details of the camp. In the brochure is a section explaining what not to bring to camp.
WHAT NOT TO BRING
- firearms, knives, weapons…
- firecrackers
- alcohol
- drugs
- walkmans, cd players, radios,
- secular music
Which of these is not like the other?
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July 27th, 2005 at 6:07 am
My favorite part is:
“*You will be asked to leave camp at your own
expense if any of the above items, or the like, are
found to be in your possession.”
How does that conversation go?
DL: Excuse me son, what’s that you’ve got in the bag?
CAMPER: Nothing
DL: Let’s have a look
DL: What is this? Amy Grant’s cross over album from 1990? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CAMP YOU HEATHEN.
July 27th, 2005 at 8:26 am
Jeremy Scott!!! Help me! I have sinned. I masturbated at camp and feel so guilty. I don’t know what to do. Can you help me with this?
July 27th, 2005 at 10:48 am
Doug really does have a good reason for not allowing any secular music at camp. He knows that it could hinder the camp brainwashing process that CBC has perfected over the years.
July 27th, 2005 at 11:24 am
This is the same approach that “Mizpah Brethren”, the “Christian” commune that I was born into, took. Eventually the commune broke up over a sex scandal and tax fraud. Eventually all these brainwashing scams bite the dust. I am surprised that paernts who experienced the sixtees would allow their own children to be a part of this.
Be in the world but not of the world.
What part does Doug and his cohorts not understand.
July 27th, 2005 at 11:37 am
What difference does it make if you bring secular music since you can’t bring a diskman. I wonder if they’ll start going through each kid’s iPod catalog and asking them to delete non-Christian songs?
July 27th, 2005 at 12:03 pm
They didnt put condoms on that list
July 27th, 2005 at 1:27 pm
Duh, they didn’t put condoms on the list.
There’s hundreds of teenagers sleeping and living in close quarters for a full week with nothing but sexually charged spiritual experiences to distract them (if this comment upsets you, let me refer you to the lyrics of a favorite song from my camp days:
“Draw me close to you, never let me go
I lay it all down again to hear you say that I’m your
friend
You are my desire, no one else will do
‘Cause nothing else could take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find the way, bring me back to you
You’re all I want, you’re all I’ve ever needed
You’re all I want, help me know you are near.”
Yeah, nothing sexual about that at all….I would’ve quoted Mark Strauss’ “There is a fountain I have found in you”, but deemed it too crass to share in totum….if you know the words, think about it for a second).
So, I’m sure no one has ever had sex at camp, or even thought about doing so, let alone planned ahead for the opportunity by packing Trojans. And besides, if someone was to have sex at camp, we wouldn’t want to alert them to the existence of condoms by forbidding them….getting pregnant/catching STD’s is obviously God’s punishment for promiscuous teens. It’s just a more practical object lesson that way, right?
We could always consider pooling the blog’s resources (perhaps as a part of the F.U. campaign?) to rent a skywriter and write “No glove, no love” over the Twin Rocks Friends Camp grounds. Although, that might be tricky with the kind of cloud cover they have there. It might be better to just hand out birth control at the Tillamook Cheese Factory….
July 27th, 2005 at 1:44 pm
Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.
July 27th, 2005 at 3:24 pm
They don’t go to Twin Rocks anymore. Now they head out to the old Rajneeshee ranch.
It’s been turned into a youth camp.
July 27th, 2005 at 8:53 pm
I reallize this comment doesn’t fit in anywhere in this post but I gotta throw this out there. For all those folks that like No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em, there’s a Benefit Tournament Friday night at 7 pm at the The Well Church. It’s $40 to play, $15 of that goes into the pot and $25 of it goes to a church plant team leaving for North Africa on August 8th. I know what your thinking, gambling, drinking and smoking at church? Surely we’ll burn for this! Want to come? Call me at (503)740-3028, ask for Nate Zimmer.
July 27th, 2005 at 11:21 pm
One of the Anonymice said:
They don’t go to Twin Rocks anymore. Now they head out to the old Rajneeshee ranch. It’s been turned into a youth camp.
Oh, the irony. The delicious, delicious irony.
Moreover, I just scanned that camp announcment PDF. They advertised a “ho-down”.
Not a “hoe-down”, but a “ho-down”.
Mmm, hmm, hmm.
It would have killed them to maybe proofread?
July 28th, 2005 at 1:21 am
Wow. So if they really are convinced the teen pregnancies are from generational curses they may want to rethink the whole rajneeshee ranch campsite.
So I’m curious. Does DL get driven around (by a future elder)in a Rolls Royce giving the “one way” sign and waving at all the campers?? Just curious.
July 28th, 2005 at 12:01 pm
sparrow,
Yes, and there’s a mandatory all-red dress code as well. They even make ‘em wear red underpants.
SJK….
y’know, I’ve gotta hand it to you for catching their little glitch. It’s a little on the Freudian side for them, I’d say……
I was thinking about camp days last night, and I remembered one of my all-time weirdest camp memories involving a knot of girls in the graduating class ahead of me the one I remember the most vividly is Candace Myers). This bunch was sitting around during cabin clean-up time and discussing all the good reasons they could think of to get pregnant. One of them thought it might help her back problems (yeah, that always happens, right?), one was hoping it’d widen her hips just enough to have the perfect supermodel measurements (again, this is the usual course of things….), and one said that the number one reason to get pregnant in high school was to get DL’s attention.
I’m not really sure who should feel the most indicted by that statement…..the girls, for their short-sightedness, or DL, for the fact that they were probably right at some level. I know for myself as a recovering straight-arrow teen that I only saw kids in trouble and kids being groomed for leadership (the ones with parents on the eldership or parents with money) ever receiving leadership attention. As far as I know, Judy Kjargaard and Janet Johnson were the sole exceptions to this rule. Camp was probably the starkest manifestation of that reality, because ankle-deep in the ocean isn’t nearly far enough to escape the 24-hour enforcement of that social hierarchy. It affected everything from bed assignments to altar calls. I remember looking forward to camp every year, expecting that it would be different this time, but it was always the same bull in varying degrees.
So, maybe the Amy Grant album isn’t the problem, eh?
July 28th, 2005 at 1:57 pm
I had some rather poignant spiritual experiences with God at Twin Rocks, but I think I was an exception.
Do you guys remember that old TV commercial where the Indian (native American) was sitting on his horse looking over the landscape? He looks down the hill to see the pristine beauty spoiled by piles of trash, car tires, and other filth. The camera zooms in for a close up to show the otherwise emotionless man shedding a single tear.
That’s how I feel about CBC Summer Camp. At one time, it was a beautiful land of wonders. I’ll admit I was young, innocent, ignorant perhaps - but I met God there in spite of the flaws. I read stories like the one Jiminy told above and I want to cry. That is so wrong on so many levels. Perhaps I escaped the drama simply because of my own separation from the social network, whether intentional or just more ignorance, spared me from being tainted with those things. I look back and think that I might have known what sex was at that age, but the concept of actually doing it and possibly getting someone pregnant was out of my mental realm. Whatever happened to innocence?
However, I do also remember some rather poignant moments of ludicrous behavior when certain spiritual leaders would decry the music of the day, how it was all of the Devil and would corrupt your soul, etc. I can remember Mike Heron telling stories about how he burned all his Beatles records for spiritual reasons (yes the music was that evil). I think back now to the really corny and extremely lame “worship songs” we used to do - OMG they were awful! LOL And they were surprised that kids didn’t find it appealing?
“Your music is from the Devil! Here, sing this instead!”
*boomchucka-boomchucka-boomchucka-boomchucka*
The zeal of God has consumed me, it burneth (yes, burneth) in my soul…
“Everybody do the Hebrew hop now!”
July 28th, 2005 at 3:37 pm
Oh the memories… I hated camp at CBC. It was one torturous week. They made us attend “services” three times a day, fed us the worst food ever, and took us on chaperoned beached walks. I remember being so tired in the mornings, from the late night service the night before. The cabin leaders were constantly watching to make sure that you didn’t skip a service, even if you were too tired to even remotely participate.
I, too, remember feeling condemned for the type of CD’s that I had. On two different occasions I broke all of them up when I returned home from camp. Needless to say, I ended up buying the same CD’s time and time again…
I also remember an alter call for those who had never spoken in tongues before. I went forward and was prayed for by some woman (can’t remember her name) who put her hand on my chest and kept telling me, “I can feel it coming. Let it flow!” Ok?!?!? Well, it never happened. When I tell my husband these kinds of stories he looks at me like I’m a freak for even participating in things like that.
July 28th, 2005 at 3:38 pm
The Hebrew hop? It’s called the “BT Two Step”.
July 29th, 2005 at 1:46 pm
Oooo, I always thought the official name was the “Charismatic bunny hop”.
God help us if Richard Simmons ever gets wind of all this…..next thing you know, it’ll be “Sweatin’ to the Spirit” and Richard will start speaking in tongues.
And thanks a lot, FICM….now I have that friggin’ song stuck in my head! Yeesh….
July 29th, 2005 at 10:50 pm
I remember some very interesting years at camp. One that stands out a lot is one involving RP and some other people from our class. That was one of the two times half my cabin got sent home. Fun times…
July 30th, 2005 at 10:53 pm
One of us should send a box of condoms to the camp, c/o Doug Lasit, with a note about how the contents will protect campers from the real danger of camp.
Do any of you dare to do that?
August 1st, 2005 at 9:50 am
I’m surprised two-piece bathing suits weren’t mentioned on the list of contraband items. I remember all the bad girls sneaking bikinis under their approved t-shirt-and-shorts ensembles, then throwing all abandon, and apparently their virginities, to the wind once they were safely out of counselor supervision. Who knew you could be a bikini away from teenage motherhood, or worse, from being known as the “camp ho”? I’m just glad my eyes were opened in time.
May 7th, 2008 at 8:19 am
I also went to a Bible camp while growing up but it was Baptist. No speaking in tongues but lots of “you suck”. Secular music? You’re going to hell. Disrespect your parents, (never mind they’re beating you)? You’re going to hell. A top that showed your clavicle or a skirt that was above your knee? You’re going to hell. Finally the grandest sin of all…YOU WENT TO A MOVIE?! Holy hell you may as well get the shovel and dig the hole yourself! What is wrong with you?! Oh, sure, it’s your sin nature. You can’t help it. Be sure to repent and never do it again. You’re going to be ok…for now. But never forget that “the wages of sin is death” and you are a sinner.
How was that for a flash back? It’s amazing to me how easily and quickly that shit can come to the front of my memory. The bonus is that truth is truth no matter what. I’ve thrown away the lies and condemnation and kept the truths that I was taught. I don’t believe in God anymore and I do believe in the goodness of man. There are things to be held onto from all of that though. For example, my favorite truth is, “charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.” I think of it every time I try to buy a car.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I spent far too many years at Twins Rock, both as a camper and then later as a camp counselor. I have to echo FICM a bit, that I had some very intense, changing moments with God there that I will always be grateful for. One night, as our cabin snuck out and ran to the top of the hill, we laid there watching shooting stars and I just couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome God was!
But I also had my share of plain silliness there too! Seriously, do I really need to see someone smear peanut butter in their arm pit and then make someone eat it?! And we’ve already beat the legalism horse to death here too. If I had one parental figure tell me my hair was a half inch too long over my collar, I had a thousand!!
But how I wish more of this camp time was spent just telling kids… “you know what, you’re normal! Being a kid is TOUGH! Sometimes it even sucks. Do the best you can. You’re going to make mistakes! Here, let me tell you a little about how much God loves you and what His grace will do for you throughout your life!”
But alas.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Ha, ha, it will be a cold day in hell before Doug Lasit preaches a message like this!
May 7th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Was anyone at the camp where Will Lake just blasted someone for wearing baggy skater clothes and not paying attention? It was just aweful.
May 9th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
is Will still involved? Cuz if you’re going back in the day, I can promise he had no special level of attention. Just sayin. :/)
–p