It’s like the Apocalypse… Only Better!

Dear Readers:

We are currently trying to re-locate our blog to a different, better domain. Anyway, it is taking us a little longer than anticipated to move the blog, so we may be down for the next couple days. Thus, I ask that you be patient, and let me leave you with a little song to help you with your day:

“Have patience, have patience. Don’t be in such a hurry. When you get impatient. You only start to worry. Remember, remember. That God is patient, too and think of all the times when others have to wait for you!”

Thank you,

Your City Business Blogging Team

(Does anyone remember what album that patience song came from? It’s been driving me crazy for the last 20 years.)

Me. Me. Me again. I am really close on this one.

I listened to Frank’s last sermon, and especially enjoyed the segment on “How to Get Married.”

Frank talks about a girl in the church who asked him to pray for her to find a husband. (Someone pointed out last year that Frank only talks to the pretty girls. I thought it was kind of a harsh thing to say, but then thought about it and was like, “True. True.”)

So here we have, what I am sure, is a very pretty girl asking Frank to pray for a husband for her. Frank tells her that he can’t just pray for any husband, she needs to give him a description of what she wants.

He specifies, “The height, the color of hair, the eyes, what he does for a living. I need to know this before I can pray for you.” So she tells him and writes it all down on a piece of paper, which Frank keeps in his Bible and prays for every day. (Me giving a dubious look, thinking, “that’s kind of odd, but whatever.”)

Anyway, I was wondering, don’t you think that when Frank asked for a description of the guy, he was standing with his fingers crossed, crouched in anticipation hoping she would say, “Ummmm, well hmmm, I guess I kind of want an older man, someone in his 50′s. If he had a bit of a lisp that’d be nice. Maybe a guy with salt and pepper hair. If he was the pastor of a large mega-church that would be good too.”

To which Frank is like, “Yes. I knew it.”

Hahahaha… …ahhhh…. I kid. I kid. I’m only joking. Still it would be kind of funny.

Also, just want to give everyone a heads up, but we’re thinking of moving the blog to another domain name. A place that will allow us more control over the site and content.

I hope to debut this sometimes next week. Have a great weekend.

Dooce

Catalyst has a friend visiting from out of town this week, and thus Catalyst is dragging just a little bit this morning. He’s not exactly his old perky self. (For some reason, I really enjoy writing in the “third” person).

Anyway, there were a bunch of emails I was going to post this morning, but that’s just going to have to wait until this headache wears off. So for now, let me share a blog I just recently found.

It is called Dooce and is written by an ex-Mormon. The blog itself is pretty good, but her biography is fantastic.

Here’s a snippet:

My parents raised me Mormon, and I grew up believing that the Mormon Church was true. In fact, I never had a cup of coffee until I was 23-years-old. I had pre-marital sex for the first time at age 22, but BY GOD I waited an extra year for the coffee. There had better be a special place in heaven for me.

I attended BYU from 1993-1997 and graduated with a degree in English. I firmly believe that BYU is the most horrible place on Earth, worse even than Disneyland. The one skill I learned in college that serves me well now is not how to solve differential equations or how to write a paper deconstructing “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” it’s how to distrust organized religion. I am no longer a practicing Mormon or someone who believes that Rush Limbaugh speaks to God. My family is understandably disappointed.

The more I distance myself from City Bible Church, the more I find I identify with ex-Mormons.

Latest Sermon

Here’s an anonymous comment about Frank’s last sermon. …pretty interesting…

Sorry to interrupt, but I just finished listening to PF’s latest sermon.

I heard something that I never heard from him, he told the church to by a book on doctrine. I was thinking, nice change of pace, then he recommends only one book and you guessed it , it is Keven Conner’s book on basic christian doctrine, and it is available at the bookstore.

PF also to said to stop praying generalized prayers because God is to busy for them, they don’t move angels, they don’t inspire the Holy Spirit, and God has a hard time fulfilling them. I should mention, to be fair, that this was said in the context of praying specific prayers. 1Tim.2:1-2 "First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority," ….. Sounds pretty general to me. I know that there are specific prayers in the word but general ones as well.

PF as well wants people to be praying for the singles to get married, he does qualify this by saying you can be single and happy. But he wants you to pray for church congregation matchups. I guess marrying outside CBC is being unequally yoked.

Finaly, and I could say more but gotta split, Frank wants you to remove certain words or phrases from your faith vocabulary, ready for this: I can’t, if only, I don’t have the time, maybe, I don’t believe, I’m not sure, and my personal favorite……. I’m afraid.

Thank you Frank but I’m not sure that that is biblical, if only you could show me that in scripture I would entertain it, I just don’t believe that God would not want me to express my doubts to Him and be honest ie. " Lord I believe but help my unbelief." Maybe you didn’t mean that but I’m afraid that it is what you said, maybe next time you could get into the bible for more than 5 minutes on a Sunday morning but I can’t believe you can teach an old dog new tricks. :)

Let me just say that I love praying for singles to get married.

So allow me to link to a newspaper article in the Washington Post, and Reason #93 why Catalyst is still single: Making Marriage (Like) Work: Author says Men can Succeed by treating it like a Job.

…ummm, I’ve already got a job, and I’m not really looking to work a double shift…

Howard’s Response

Howard Rachinski commented on the blog disputing my claim that he hired an "investigator". I want to give him a chance to make his point.

Dear Justin & JP,

This is Howard Rachinski (really). It has come to my attention you have "informed" your fellow bloggers that I have hired an "investigator". In addition, a few of your bloggers apparently have found it a real delight to take some "shots" at me. How delightful…So…to set the record straight and to help all your fans from getting ulcers, I thought it best to "blog in"…First of all, I have not "hired a PI". In fact, I think that’s totally hilarious!!! Whatever could you have been thinking of???

I feel rather sorry that you had to compromise your perspective by spreading such a blatant lie. So, for all those "Howard" haters out there…you are out of luck. I haven’t done any such thing. And, Henri, you should know better than that!!!

Secondly, to help pacify all those cries of outrage for that "hideous relative connection", my wife’s father and Donna Lasit’s grandmother are "brother & sister". Oh perish the thought… I can’t imagine what all your "outcriers" will do when they discover that we are all related…to Noah…to Adam…Please don’t have a heart attack.

Thirdly, dear JiminyCricket, ficm, and other "anonymous" contributors, please don’t lose any more sleep over my clothes, my hair or my choral conducting. Did that make you really feel better to "diss" me or CCLI? You don’t even know me. You don’t even know my company. You don’t even know how many homes and families we have helped. But, I guess you must have really felt better, huh???

Finally, Justin and JP. I’m surprised. I was one of your "supporters" through Temple Christian, through basketball – giving you encouragement where possible. I’m surprised…because you could help cultivate positive changes…you could make a difference…you could help…So…I’ll keep encouraging you to do so…If you, JP or any of your other "contributors" want to talk…let me know…But, please, don’t stoop to the lowest possible level of irascibility.You guys are so much better than that!!!

The person Howard hired may not have been a "private investigator", but I stand by claim that Howard hired someone to research and investigate JP and I.

Also, I’ve got nothing against Howard Rachinski. I don’t really know him. I did play basketball with his son and he was a pretty cool guy.

Update 1/24: To thank Howard for offering his opinion, I would like to give his company Songtouch a plug. Last year, when someone told me Howard was starting an online music company for Christian Artists, I remember thinking, "Genius! Why didn’t I think of that." There’s a reason Howard is successful and it isn’t his fancy coat-of-many-colors suit.

Burnside Writers

I recently received a nice email from Jordan Green a writer for The Burnside Writer’s Collective. From what I gather, this is a group of Christian writers, who each contribute articles to the website.

In perusing their site, two things stood out as most impressive. First, Don Miller’s College Bowl picks. He went 7-1, picking Oklahoma over Oregon and Texas over USC. If this writing thing doesn’t work out for him, he should move to Vegas and invest his savings in choosing College Bowl winners. (Honestly Jordan, who is Don picking for the Superbowl? Also ask him if I can sneak a peak at his March Madness Bracket. I want a new Ipod, and with Don’s inside knowledge, a win is guaranteed.)

A second thing that impressed me was Jordan’s top 10 albums of 2005, which included Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and Illinois. Sufjan Steven’s Illinois was the Album of the Year and his song Chicago was the Song of the Year, in my opinion.

I would also like to add that Donald Miller’s new book about to be released is To Own a Dragon. Go out and buy the book, if for no other reason than it would be nice to see a Christian author sell more books then Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. (Side note: I grew up reading the Dallas O’Neil and Baker Street Sports Club series by Jerry B. Jenkins. I loved them. He just went a little crazy with this whole apocalypse thing.)

Lastly, this blog is blowing up with comments, and I just want to thank everyone who reads the posts and shares their thoughts. Your comments are what make tbis blog interesting, thank you.

Testify

Former Bible Temple member R.B. shares her story:

I wanted to tell my story…I was a member of Bible Temple from when I was 1 week old until I was 16. We were considered outstanding members until my dad left when I was 13. My mom was ostracized by the elders and congregation for being a fallen woman.

My mom finally packed us up and left town, humiliated by BT…we were basically kicked out. No one cared we were leaving. I had gone to TCHS until my the middle of my 10th grade year…I was unprepared for the public school I had to go to until graduation so I didn’t fit in. I had been brainwashed for so many years that I married the first guy I kissed because he kissed me, and I barely knew him but I felt so guilty. Turns out he was an illegal alien and I was his prisoner and domestic violence victim for 11 years before I fled and was in shelters for abused women.

Do I blame Bible Temple? Absolutely…there is no doubt that is the reason for everything that happened to me. I forgave them all…and contacted my classmates there to tell them I thought about them. Once they found out I too was a fallen woman, I never heard from them again. I am still a Christian but I’m glad I joined the world of real people because now I see what they are truly missing and am closer to God for it. Thanks for listening…

My American Idol is Jesus

We’ll get back to bashing City Bible tomorrow, but it has been getting kind of heavy here lately, and I just want to try to lighten the mood.

While I enjoy writing the blog, it kind of limits me to religious posts, when I could easily spend five days a week writing just about TV. My secret: I love TV.

I could delve into the strategy behind voting off the cutest chicks on Survivor (I don’t get it). Or why Lorelei and Rory are the hottest Mom-Daughter combo in TV history, why Real World/Road Rules: The Gauntlet is the best and worst reason to be on Reality TV (it turns you into an extremely entertaining idiot), and why the greatest interview of all time would be Stephen Colbert interviewing Jon Stewart on the Colbert Report.

But I don’t get to talk about that, I get to talk about how Doug Lasit is tangentially related to Howard Rachinski. (Me Screaming: Who Cares!!!)

This is all to say, I love American Idol. Well. I love the first part of the show, I lose interest when the competition actually begins. Simon has been on a roll, and I am continually amazed at the delusional folks they get to try out: The tan girl was the best.

However, of all my favorite contestants on the show, the best has been Jon Peter Lewis from AI 3.

So for this weeks shameless plug, JPL has a new single out “Stories from Hollywood”. It’s actually really good and I’ve been listening to it all day. You can download it for free here. (it’s okay; it’s legal)

I hope you enjoy the song, and we can get back to debating tithing 10% versus giving out of joy, tomorrow.

Donald Miller

Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz, got some love from the Oregonian this Sunday. (Thanks to Karli for sending this to me.)

The article has this quote from Mr. Miller:

“I was a fundamentalist Christian once. It lasted a summer.”

Don’s got a new book out called Searching for God Knows What?

I haven’t read the book, but I have heard that he bashes the evangelical community for buddying up with the Republican Party. It is supposed to be better than Blue Like Jazz. Sounds interesting.