Frequently Asked Questions
Posted on February 22nd, 2006 by catalyst into the About Us categoryIn the fifteen months or so that this blog has been in existence, the Pope and I have received thousands of questions. A lot of the questions are similar. And to save everyone time, we are going to post some of the more common questions we hear.
Why are you so bitter?
Trust me we are not bitter. Bitterness does not laugh, and if you could hear us howling as we write this stuff, well, it’s pure entertainment.
Both of you guys have taken quite a lot of abuse for starting this website, does it ever get to you?
Sadly, no. We actually enjoy it. Our parents were heavily involved with an anti-abortion movement for years. Most of our homeschool fieldtrips were to picket abortion clinics. And let me tell you , there are a lot of hostile people that drive by abortion clinics. At a young age, we learned how to take an insult and how to duck. The pope still has a very vivid memory of almost being hit with a dirty diaper.
Why do you hate Pastor Frank?
We do not hate Pastor Frank. We don’t hate anyone at the church. We disagree with Frank’s church policies, but as a person, we think he’s a pretty good guy. And yes, we make the occassional disparaging comment, but come on, the guys got a lisp and he changed the name of the church from Bible Temple to City Bible… that’s comedy gold. You can’t pass up an opportunity like that.
Why don’t you get a life and stop blogging about tithing and City Bible?
There is nothing more we would like than to stop the blog. We quit about once every three months. But to be honest, every time we quit we get a ton of email from ex-members, who love the blog and ask us to keep it going. If City Bible is such a great church, then why are there so many ex-members with hurt feelings? They really should ask themselves that question, because that is why this blog continues. It really has very little to do with us? We’re just here to make ourselves laugh and share the occasional tithing joke.
Dear Justin:
Do you find it hard to hide the fact that you’re gay?
Love, Mom.
OMG!!! I am not gay. Just because I love American Idol and think Oops I Did It Again is the greatest song ever. This does not make me gay. Gayish, perhaps. But not gay.
RSS feed for posts
February 22nd, 2006 at 7:44 am
A couple thoughts for the boys:
Bitterness and laughing are not mutally exclusive. However, anyone who asks why you are bitter is an idiot. It’s diverting from answering the question that this blog poses.
Whether true or not, I beleive this blog does sometimes get to you. You tend not to answer questions that are specifically directed to the both of you and/or get heated in your own responses. (Example RP - regarding Mr. Andrew.) You have also removed some posts that you have disagreed with. So much for an open forum. This isn’t the City Business Church blog its the JP and Cat - dog and pony show.
And regarding Franks lisp. You find this acceptable to poke at a man’s lisp, but find it morally and ethically wrong to discuss someone’s dandruff. Please explain one more time for the slow.
I beleive there are some valid questions asked on this blog, but the people who are running the site are losing creditbility by the constant acts of hypocracy that it commits - and condemns CBC for.
I haven’t attended the church (or any church in elleven years) since it was Bible Temple, probably will never step foot in the building again. This site sometimes (less and less now) raises valid points and can be a place of healing and redemption to some degree. So I can appreciate that. However, it is more and more becoming a place to cast stones at people it disagrees with. Does this not defeat the purpose?
I will not be surprised nor will I lose sleep if JonPol removes this comment, because he didn’t agree with it. I will also not be surprised if he writes what he thinks is a clever, whitty, and yes (what he thinks) is a funny comment to rebutt me. RP, there is a difference between being funny and pretentious. Unfortunetly you don’t seem to know the difference.
Stay well.
February 22nd, 2006 at 7:57 am
Thanks for the comment.
February 22nd, 2006 at 8:41 am
THE LORD IS SLOW TO ANGER AND GREAT IN POWER.
Nahum 1:3
Jehovah “is slow to anger.” When mercy comes into the world, she drives winged horses; the axles of her chariot-wheels are red-hot with speed. But when wrath goes forth, it toils on with tardy footsteps, for God takes no pleasure in the sinner’s death. God’s rod of mercy is always in His hands outstretched; His sword of justice is in its scabbard, held down by that pierced hand of love that bled for the sins of men. “The LORD is slow to anger” because He is “great in power.” He is truly great in power who has power over himself. When God’s power restrains Himself, then it is power indeed: The power that binds omnipotence is omnipotence surpassed. A man who has a strong mind can bear to be insulted and only resents the wrong when a sense of right demands his action. The weak mind is irritated at a little; the strong mind bears it like a rock that doesn’t move though a thousand breakers dash upon it and cast their pitiful malice in spray upon its summit. God marks His enemies, and yet He bestirs not Himself but holds in His anger. If He were less divine than He is, He would long have since sent forth the whole of His thunders and emptied the cannons of heaven; He would have long ago blasted the earth with the wondrous fires of its lower regions, and man would have been utterly destroyed. But the greatness of His power brings us mercy. Dear reader, what is your condition this evening? Can you by humble faith look to Jesus and say, “My substitute, You are my rock, my trust”? Then, beloved, do not be afraid of God’s power; for if by faith you have fled to Christ for refuge, the power of God need no more terrify you than the shield and sword of the warrior need terrify those whom he loves. Rather rejoice that He who is “great in power” is your Father and Friend.
February 22nd, 2006 at 8:52 am
And the point of that was……..?
February 22nd, 2006 at 8:57 am
Did you want to go for a latte?
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:13 am
Maybe laughing at everything is your way of not dealing issues. Maybe your so wounded that humor is how you cope with life and avoid the painfull root emotional hurts.
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:20 am
Justin, I am almost as addicted to American Idol as I was survivor. So far, for Idol 06′ I have yet to miss a single episode. Man TV has been great since reality shows came of age. Mabey we should give a day on the blog to AI?
Brandon
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:43 am
Brandon:
My money is on Paris Bennet. She’s the best so far.
But we’ve got the guys tonight, so who knows? It’s gonna be tough road to the final two. hahaha…
-Justin
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:47 am
Every church is going to have people who get hurt and leave and disagree with a certain aspect of that church. CBC is a big church and naturally has more people who have experienced this. The problem is is that CBC has produce a great number of these “lost customers” due to the corporate nature of CBC- dictatorship vs shepherding, control vs biblical freedom, outward conformity vs letting people grow. I find it hard to believe that other large churches in the metro area have the same pattern. Does Good Shepherd, New Hope, Beaverton Foursquare ect. have the same track record with parting members and attenters? I think not.
So what do we do crack back on CBC for how long? In 5 years be bloging about …. well does it matter? JP do you want your kids to grow up and say “I don’t know alot about my dad but I do know is that he is funny.”Maybe in 5 years CBC will have shrunk to a 1,000 member church that has one service at one location, or maybe they will have grown to 20,000 and have 9 locations, better yet maybe they will see that church “success” is not about about growth in numbers and church locations but is about a healthy family, a body of believers who don’t care about it’s image, and love dirty, messy sinners as they are withour asking telling them to become acceptable clean enough to experience life with.
Read your bible, pray every day and you’ll grow grow grow. No really, walk out the love of God that redeems situations, in His power, and know Him more who is what true life is all about.
February 22nd, 2006 at 10:23 am
Well said Anonymous 9:47. There are churches out there that are doing it right and I should be glad that most of the people I love have left CBC and found better places to tithe.
February 22nd, 2006 at 10:46 am
I would be very proud if my kids grew up to say they know I am funny. I think it is an honor to be called funny by your children. I know alot of worse things they could call me. JP, I hope your kids grow up to call you funny. That means they have a good sense of humor…and understand that life can’t be taken too seriously all the time. If we didn’t let things slide off our backs in some way, we’d all end up in mental institutions in a room with rubber walls…holding a Starbucks coffee cup with the gay quote and babbling about tithing and how we were wronged by CBC.
February 22nd, 2006 at 10:47 am
Oh…and it is called metrosexual to be gayish not gay. I know…my ex-husband was one.
February 22nd, 2006 at 10:51 am
Justin, ie
Capitan Survivor
Yeah a tough road indeed, but hey I am in it to win it, That paris chick is absolutley the best. Its no wonder though, she comes from good stock, with her Grandma and all. What a treat though we get 3 shows a week for the next couple of weeks, 2 of them are 2 hours; Man, I am going nuts with all the tension its like season one of survivor all over again.
Brandon
February 22nd, 2006 at 10:57 am
Does Good Shepherd, New Hope, Beaverton Foursquare ect. have the same track record with parting members and attenters? I think not.
Wrong
February 22nd, 2006 at 12:06 pm
The last entry under master story teller at 10:57am is not me. Just to clear it up.
February 22nd, 2006 at 12:57 pm
Allow me to answer some questions “specifically directed” to me.
For the record, I have removed only 1 post and I did so because it accused someone of a crime that they had not been convicted of (read: libel) . Whether or not the accusations are true is irrelevant…the comments have to be approved by City Business Church and at this point only 3 people have taken the membership class. Yes, this is City Business Church, and no it is not an OPEN forum. If you wish, you may start your own blog and allow people to malign whoever they want; however in this church we will not tolerate unauthorized slander. If you find this hypocritical please go and find another place to worship. At this CBC we are not concerned with how many members we have.
I have never deleted any comments about Mr. Andrew; I have however deleted a number of comments regarding Franks lisp (for some reason many people on this blog find Schitty Bible Church to be funny). Is that hypocritical too? Sorry Larry.
Sofa, you seem to be making the mistake that many people have made, and I would like to clear this up: I DON”T MAKE ALL THE COMMENTS ON THIS SITE, so please stop trying to hold me accountable for each one. There are many opinions expressed here by many different people, some I agree with and some I do not. I can not possibly respond to all the comments made here… it would take far too long.
Regarding my kids: I can’t say if they will find me funny, but I can say that they will never grow up and think “I don’t know a lot about my dad”…
It’s true that some people deal with hurts by trying to laugh the pain away. If you actually know me then you know that is not the case, but I will not argue with you (stirs up to much emotional bitterness).
Here’s how I see it: Humor is in the eye of the beholder… or the belly of the laugher…You say pretentious, I say hilarious.
Good day.
February 22nd, 2006 at 1:48 pm
[thump…thump…thump…ouch!!]
February 22nd, 2006 at 2:00 pm
Darn. What happened to the rest of the post?
Anyway that was the sound of me banging my head against the wall. Why is it so incomprehensible that people can leave CBC because they can no longer tolerate their “brand” of church? Why is it assumed that if you leave you are:
a. angry and bitter
b. deluded
c. backslidden
d. hurt and offended
e. all of the above
How can people not see that pointing out the flaws in the corporate system is not synonymous with attacks on people?
To me, this blog points out the flaws in the corporate image that is being built, and takes issue with the extreme unbiblical emphasis on tithing.
Are you going to accuse Jesus of being angry and bitter because He told the churches, “I have this against you….”?
Ok, granted. Do the posters here use wisdom and maturity to express their opinions? Rarely. Do they say it with grace and mercy? Ha.
But realistically, if someone careful researched everything and wrote out 95 dissenting theses on the doctrine and practices of CBC, and taped them on the front door of the domes, would they ever be read?
But everybody reads the blog. And even the most hard core yes-men have to admit they’ve cracked a smile. C’mon. Admit it.
February 22nd, 2006 at 2:03 pm
JoanPaul,
Thank you for your feedback. I am confused about you comments. You stated that you have only removed one post (Mr. Droppa Post), but then go on to say that you have deleted a number of comments due to Frank’s lisp. Please clarify if you find the time.
Second question, in this church. What worship actually takes place on this blog? You have proven my last comment about being pretentious. If you think this blog is a church - you say church. I say hilarious.
The Church of Elvis
The Church of Kurt Cobain
The Church of JuanPaul
Saying this blog is a church is saying that everyone who watches American Idol belongs to a church. Simply congregating alone with a similar belief or a interest does not make a church. You have conducted no services. Are you considered the clergy? Oh’ and please, what denomination is this?
I don’t expect you to respond to every comment posted. I just know from the last 14 months, you specifically will avoid heated comments directed to you. Your brother at least attempts to answer them most of the time.
Whether or not I hold you accountable for anything is irrelevent. However, you are accountable for the words you say. Not to me, but all I’m doing is asking for you to explain yourself to your “church members.”
I am questioning you, the so called leader of this church. Just as you question Franks policies and/or words.
You have become what you detest. Frank. You are a hypocrite - opportunist just like you claim he is.
To reiterate, I don’t have any connection for City Bible church, so I don’t need to defend it. Nor will I. However, you are just as flawed as that church. Fine, that makes you human. But what about shutting up and admit that you “Reformed Frank” are just like them with different doctrine.
Ultimately you share the same phylosophy.
Lastly what is it that you preach. That CBC sucks?
Wow Bravo! Dude you’re original.
I’ve never seen a little blog go to someones head as much as it has here.
So thank you Reformed Frank. I won’t expect to read a response from you. I know how busy you can get running the City Business Church.
That is all.
February 22nd, 2006 at 2:35 pm
As a member of this church, I want to say I’m happy here. I get to laugh, I don’t have to tithe, and we get to practice freedom of speech…unusual for any other church I’ve been to. Why read more into this blog than what it really is…a really great joke? This blog has taken humor and used it to stir up an entire community. To me, it is a great example of illusion…Houdini would be proud. Sofa King Happy needs to put up or shut up…quit trying to ruin it for the rest of us who take it for what it is…done in fun. Party pooper…
February 22nd, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Damn Sofa 2:03 pm!!!
I think that was more of an ass chewing than it was dialogue.
I do agree that it would be weird to denounce one leader and at the same time live the same philosophy, the same means to an end, the same tv watching habits, ect.
American Idol is a character study and it proves that americans have none.
Being metro is the best of both worlds. Who doesn’t want to feeel sexy?
February 22nd, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Sofa,
The problem is that people like you want this blog to be something it isn’t…and so once you realize that a lot of this blog revolves around entertainment you get upset and accuse us of things you can’t back up and then get even more offended when we don’t care that you are upset and then eventually you leave…(but do you stop reading????)
Anyway,
I imagine you won’t bother to elaborate on your accusations that I am a hypocrite or that I have become the “Reformed Frank” (which is funny), but I’ll try to address a couple of your questions and then in parenthesis I’ll tell you whether I’m being pretentious or funny and you can see if I know the difference or not. (Funny)
“…you have deleted a number of comments due to Frank’s lisp. Please clarify if you find the time.”
Wait, you didn’t know about all the “lisp” comments I have deleted??? Exactly. (Pretentious)
“Oh’ and please, what denomination is this?”
We’re non-denominational. (Funny)
“But what about shutting up and admit that you “Reformed Frank” are just like them with different doctrine?”
I’d need you to elaborate on that. (Neither)
“Lastly what is it that you preach. That CBC sucks?”
I preach that we all suck… but some people don’t seem to know it, so I help show them. (Pretentious)
“I’ve never seen a little blog go to someones head as much as it has here.”
True, true. (Pretentious)
“So thank you Reformed Frank. I won’t expect to read a response from you. I know how busy you can get running the City Business Church.”
For the record, I don’t run City Business Church…I am only a contributing editor. (You tell me)
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:02 pm
You know what,
I just read my response to Sofa’s ramblings, and I now remember why I don’t respond to so many people’s comments…
Because it’s BORING.
For those of you who correctly skipped over my response allow me to sum up:
BLAAAAAAHHHHH.
Yes, I am a pretentious ass who thinks he’s hilarious.
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:12 pm
good for you, RP.
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Reformed Pope, for once I agree with you. Your response was BLAAAHHH.
Wait a minute, I take that back it was just bla.
I should ask why you don’t become a politician. You answer questions with more questions. You danced around the fact that you only deleted one comment and went on to say that you deleted many comments. Why coudn’t you answer that.
The fact of the matter folks, is though I may be a pariah on this blog, I’m proving that you will vilify anyone who doesn’t agree with you. It may be Frank most of the time or it may be me, or WWJD or whoever.
While you are pissing about over my comments, you are not about Frank (for the time being.)
I have supported my accusations, you have yet to defend them. You have obviously not read all my comments. Laughing sardonically at my comments is not a response.
JP, get over yourself. If you think that I’m offended by anything you or anyone else says then you are disillusioned. If you (specifically) thought what I was writing was good or you agreed with or whatever. Then I would be one poor soul who would need years of counil from the highest priced doctor out there. If you liked me, there would be something seriously wrong with me.
The fact is you don’t like my comments and why should you. I’m not someone who wanted to be your friend in high school. I never looked up to you becuase I thought you were neato and cool. Not all, but most of the comments made in your favor are from people who wanted to be apart of your crowd. The Walkers, Mortons and whoever. This isn’t about anyone thinking your actually funny. It’s about thinking your funny to get brownie points.
You are just a sheltered individual who went to a shelter high school. Sheltered enough to think that it wasn’t all that sheltered. This is why you are pretentious. I do not fault you for it due to your sheltered life.
For the record, I do lose sleep all the time when you hurt my feelings with your meanie comments. And yes, I stop writing and yes I still have to read the blog, because YOU are so GD enertaining.
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:46 pm
sofa king makes me tired
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:56 pm
If elected to the City Business Church eldership, I move to change our denomination from “non” to $100’s!
And judge my posts not on humor, but on spelling. Crap, did anyone here pass Englesh?
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Ummmmm I don’t think some of you get it…….. THE BLOG IS FUNNY. LAUGH, YOU MORONS!
I really don’t think they care about accusing them of hypocrisy or being offensive or not defending your little accusations!! So pretty much, thanks for providing them and us with even more laughter, to laugh at how stupid those long ridiculous comments are, which no one cares about. But for most people (like me) i skip over the long ones because they’re boring. I want funny. I don’t care about stupid little arguments about whether or not they’re bitter, pretentious, or so mean! I don’t give a crap and I don’t think anyone else does. Thanksbye.
February 22nd, 2006 at 4:07 pm
Sofa King Happy makes me So Faking Nauseated
February 22nd, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Sofa King,
For the love of all that is holy, SHUT UP!
Back to the whole gay vs. metrosexual thing…I’m a little concerned about the true sexual orientation of Catalyst. You see, since the beginning of this blog, I have been secretly (or maybe not so secretly) in love with him.
And I have always somewhat identified with Grace from Will & Grace in that she tends to fall in love with gay, hence unattainable, men. Just some food for thought. If it’s true Catalyst, my heart is broken, but I would still marry you so that you would never have to come out of the closet. Because you are so damn funny.
February 22nd, 2006 at 4:21 pm
pdxrn-
if you are ugly than everyone will know hes still in the closet. I learned that at CBC.
February 22nd, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Sofa King Happy
Would you please shut up. You are almost a big of a whiner as Jimminy. Get of your high horse and stop posting comments that take 15 minutes to scroll past. YOU ARE Sofa King WE TA DID.
Master Story Teller
A.K.A
Brandon
February 22nd, 2006 at 4:27 pm
Sorry pdxrn, he’s all mine…
February 22nd, 2006 at 4:36 pm
I’m actually not ugly so it would be the perfect ruse. No one would ever have to know he was gay. (not that there is anything wrong with that) Looks like I have some competition though.
February 22nd, 2006 at 4:48 pm
Everyone, I’m sorry. I think I need to clarify one thing.
Sofa you said:
“You danced around the fact that you only deleted one comment and went on to say that you deleted many comments. Why couldn’t you answer that. ”
I apologize that I wasn’t clear enough for you. What I meant to say was this: You don’t know that I deleted a lot of comments about Franks lisp because I deleted them…and so you can’t read them…so no one can read them…and I didn’t talk about deleting them because I didn’t want to draw more attention to it…does this make sense now?
But you didn’t know that, so you wrongly accused me of allowing people to make fun of Frank while hypocritically protecting Larry Andrew… when really it is the other way around.
You think that this website shoots down anyone who disagrees with us, but really we disagree with everyone. I mean really, I don’t agree with even everything I say…
Shocking isn’t it.
PS. I’m not half the ass now that I was in High school. Marriage has really mellowed me out.
February 22nd, 2006 at 7:09 pm
The problems spoken of here, are common to many, if not most institutionalized churches. I’ve attended perhaps a dozen in my lifetime, and have done concerts in maybe 500 more.
The problems have everything to do with the members failure to grasp the identity of the true Church, and of their own, individual identity.
So many church goers are looking for God in a building - they even refer to the building they attend as the “house of God” - yet twice scripture says “God does not live in houses made by men/hands” (Acts 7:48 and Acts 17:24). Jesus was crucified for speaking out against the temple of stone in Jerusalem, though He was speaking about the true temple: His body in which the Holy Spirit resides. Stephen was stoned for speaking out about the temple - as He understood that the move from the old to new covenants was about ending the ‘temple worship’ paradigm of the old covenant, to a new covenant of God in man (1 Corinthians 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 6:19) and turning men into sons (1 John 3:1, Galatians 3:26), and priests (1 Peter 2:5-9, Revelation 5:10).
How sad it is, to see men and women, ignorant of their identity in Christ, fighting each other over what goes on in the buildings … in so doing, men assault the true temples of God (men) to defend false temples of bricks and stone.
Doesn’t anyone see the big picture? That this current age of institutionalized churchianity, is nothing more than old testament temple worship reincarnated?
Upon leaving the temple for the last time, Jesus said “behold, your house (temple) is left to you desolate” (Matthew 23:38)
He’s not there. CBC is no more His house, than any other silly church building. Elvis (Jesus ;^) has left the building!
And pastor ‘Frank’ is no more a priest, no more a son, no more a temple of the Holy Spirit, than any of the members.
So why play the church games? Why fight each other over what goes on in a building, where God does not reside? Why assuault the real temples of God (each other), over a false temple?
You are right to see the tithe lie for what it is, but will you follow the ‘rabbit hole’ to see where it ultimately leads?
In the same way that “not everyone who says to me Lord, Lord” is a follower of Christ, not every organization that calls itself a “church” belongs to Christ. Some, perhaps most, have divided themselves from Christ, and have turned to following a ‘hireling’ (John 10, Jude 1). Today, we call divisions by the name “denominations” and tout “diversity” … but in Paul’s day, he called divisions carnal, and sinful, and instructed those who were divided to repent, and unite (1 Corinthians 11:17-18). And that doesn’t mean for the web guys here to run back to CBC - it means isn’t it time for people clinging to divisions / factions, like CBC, to give it up, and do what Jesus said? Specifically: “Follow ME”.
Going to church is not the same as following Jesus. Being a member of a denomination is not the same as being born again. Tithing (10% of your money) is not the same as “taking up your cross and following” Jesus (giving 100% of yourself).
Churchianity is for those who can’t even stomach milk.
I applaud that the authors here care about CBC enough to publish this site, as if to chide them into repentence. However, I hope you will consider the thoughts found in “Does God Still Knock Over Towers of Babel?” at http://www.lordyouare.com/r9.html
Is CBC a modern Tower of Babel - no more than a bunch of men striving away, to build a lofty perch for an earthly king?
In trying to fix CBC, could you be working against God, who is sending the wind and waves to knock over that which is built on sand and not upon the rock of Christ?
I’ll close with a few encouragements:
Christ has truly made us free: then keep your free condition and let no man put a yoke on you again. (Galatians 5:1 BBE)
But the anointing which ye have received from him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man should teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you concerning all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him. (1 John 2:27 Webster)
February 22nd, 2006 at 8:37 pm
John 444, your comment wasn’t even a little bit funny.
February 22nd, 2006 at 8:50 pm
Yawn… I miss Gimcrack. I miss lobbing verbal insults at her, I miss having her get hysterical at me. All this philosophising is such a drag. I’m bored to tears…
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:45 pm
I strongly doubt that this blog is trying to fix CBC. I’m pretty sure it’s only here to laugh at it.
Why am I the only one who understands what this blog is here for?
February 23rd, 2006 at 6:28 am
If it’s yucking it up that you want, perhaps you ought to start a new slogan:
WWJLA ‘What Would Jesus Laugh At’ or WWMJLHAO ‘What Would Make Jesus Laugh His Ass Off’ … though the latter is a bit long for a bumper sticker …
I guess I can see your point - absent anything of spiritual value, mocking humor has its merits. And it does seem from what I’ve read that CBC suffers from a kind of religious leprosy (metaphorically speaking) … I guess that must look pretty funny - watching a place self destruct and fall apart …
Why, I vaguely recall one of my favorite passages of scripture - it’s Luke 17:12 (MADV):
And Jesus laughed when he saw the 10 lepers - “will you look at that” He said to the disciples, “they’ve only got 13 ears between them - man - I’m glad they have robes on - God only knows what else has fallen off”
After high-fives and guffaws all around, Jesus set out looking for another herd of pigs to drive into the sea.
Ah yes - this Jesus - the cruel and mocking saviour of the MAD generation.
:^/
February 23rd, 2006 at 7:31 am
I’m sorry… are you comparing [b]Jesus[/b] to RP or catalyst?
February 23rd, 2006 at 7:41 am
Thanks for all the marriage proposals.
ummmm, but I really like being single, and I am having way too much fun to get married.
But thanks anyway.
February 23rd, 2006 at 8:27 am
Cat said “but I really like being single” -
Is that really just code for sorry Mom I’m gay?
February 23rd, 2006 at 8:41 am
Dan Savage is a gay guy who writes an advice column. He has one column that absolutely cracks me up and addresses the question of what makes a guy gay.
I’m not gonna post it, because it’s pretty graphic, and while this blog maybe PG-13, I’d like to keep it from becoming rated R.
But No. “I like being single” is not code for “I’m gay.” If I said, “I like having sex with men.” then maybe.
February 23rd, 2006 at 9:29 am
http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/23/americanidol.twins.ap/index.html
*NOW* I have an excuse to watch AI. And I have a favorite contestant since Frenchie.
I wonder if she likes Butterbeans.
February 23rd, 2006 at 9:58 am
Good choice, Chris.
And of course she likes Butterbeans. All girls love Butterbeans. It’s in their blood.
February 23rd, 2006 at 11:04 am
What’s a butterbean?
February 23rd, 2006 at 12:38 pm
the ape says whats a butterbean.
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:26 pm
“Some people are fat, some people are lean.
But I want you to show me the person who doesn’t like butterbeans Yay!”
B-52’s (1983) Song, ‘Butterbean’
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Butterbeans are lima beans.
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:31 pm
butterbean
n : small flat green bean similar to lima beans [syn: sieva bean, butter bean, civet bean]
li·ma bean
n. In both senses also called regionally butter bean.
1. Any of several varieties of a tropical American plant (Phaseolus limensis) having flat pods containing large, light green, edible seeds.
2. The seed of this plant.
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:42 pm
do they taste like crap just like lima beans?
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:59 pm
We pray for ribeyes and receive butter beans, but when you’re starving to death, butterbeans taste pretty good.
June 5th, 2006 at 9:37 am
Having family member at one of those listed, I would agree there is alot of offense there too. People are offensive. The more people, the more offensive.
Arcane thought, “Why are offended people so defensive?”
June 5th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
You will have to stand before the Lord some day. If you believe in Jesus you must understand the distruction you insist on promoting. Please don’t let the fact that you were molested as a child keep you from the love of God. He knows you. He loves you. Stop this before it’s too late.
June 6th, 2006 at 9:58 pm
Shutup, Dad.
June 7th, 2006 at 5:33 am
Oh, come on. Not another argument within the trinity. Is there a blogger named “Spirit of Love” who can reconcile these two.
February 8th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
**And yes, we make the occassional disparaging comment, but come on, the guys got a lisp and he changed the name of the church from Bible Temple to City Bible… that’s comedy gold. You can’t pass up an opportunity like that**
Everyone makes fun of the idiosyncrasies of the leaders in the church. Well, just about everyone. And that includes other leaders in the church. And man oh mister do they do and say some of the most ridiculous things. I have almost peed my pants laughing listening to others imitate someone’s prayer/preaching/teaching/prophesying style. I do a lot of silly things that I am sure would be ridiculed if I was in a public light. It’s just the way it goes
May 21st, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Can someone tell me what happened to Marketplace???????
May 21st, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Go to the 1st page of the blog. Scroll to the bottom, where it says “previous entries”. Click on the ‘previous entries’. Do this twice, and you will see the Market Place Ministries entry.
May 21st, 2007 at 6:58 pm
You can also always use the search engine…which is the last item on the right sidebar.
Thanks by the way for commenting under this post. I enjoyed reading through all the comments and reading how funny we really are. (Pretentious).
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:22 am
Thanks whatHesaid
May 22nd, 2007 at 8:23 am
Thank you RP
June 4th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Found this blog last night, I haven’t laughed this hard in along time. This is great! You must be my dead son’s best friends. They had this kind of humor, he was a PBCer and did leave disheartened. However he had alot of fun with the relationships he formed there. By the way I love the butter bean comments!
I shared this with my husband last night. We love validation, and this blog validated all that we experienced in “The Church of the Four Walls”. This isn’t just about CBC or PBT as I knew it, CLC or MFI, this is about many of the churches who have strayed and have missed the mark.
It’s about the church being run as a business, which is ok, but lets call it what it is and you are, great job! You have to have a CEO, bilaws etc. because you are a nonprofit, and you have to come under the STATE laws, period. I know I was a church secetary for a few years.
We have a confused identity. Help us!!! I think He is. We have to start using our minds again. It’s ok we don’t have to feel condemnation for questioning or searching out the scriptures. Do I have a problem with “spiritual authority”, yes, especially those that tell me “don’t think”, “don’t question”. I can’t do that!!!! Your telling me to be something God created me to be.
I’m a sad creature because I miss family. I miss Sunday morning potlucks waffing into the sancuary while the preacher finishes up his sermon. I miss the family meals. I miss hearing the baby’s and children making noise and interrupting the preaching (because they’ve been shuffeled off to the nursery and childrens church). I miss hearing grandpa say a few words to the preacher, interrupt his sermon, so I can stay awake, as he imparts wisdom into my life. I miss the aunts and uncles correcting my kids and helping me out. And where’s my brothers and sisters that I can debate with, laugh with, and yes tease each others about our lisps. Man we are sterile. I want my “family back”!!
As Jane cried out to Mr. Rochester “Where are YOU….”?
June 4th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
Anna Litical:
I totally understand that frustration and longing and sadness. Church is not just where people of the same religion meet however many times a week. It is a community of the deepest kind. Just like you said — they are your family. What makes it doubly sad is that there are virtually no other organizations or places that you can find that kind of community (I suppose that could be good or bad). Either way, there is pretty much no other place that puts so much emphasis on family. People who have not experienced that have a hard time understanding the intensity and passion and loving nature of the relationships and bonds had in a “church family”. It is frustrating and sad when the “church” spoils what you can have with individuals in that place.
July 21st, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Maybe someone could answer my question I asked over in the ousted pastor blog…. Is there a safe church to go to? I keep hearing the song 50 ways to leave your lover ringing in my head at the thought of it.
step out the back Jack, make a new plan Stan, just set yourself free etc…lol can someone please help me! I’m in up to my eyeballs….lol
I’m jealous I never got to feel like part of the family, and when I stick my head you of my fox hole someone like Joe bib is still taking pot shots at us..boo oho better call the waaahmbulance.