City Business Church » 2006

Archive for February, 2006

Compare and Contrast

Posted on February 8th, 2006 by catalyst into the Favorites category

About my sophomore year in college, I realized the key to getting a good grade on my papers was to include Bible references. This ran contrary to what everyone told me before I got to college. I was often reminded, "You are going to a secular school, Justin, they won't let you talk about God. They will mark you down if you profess to believe in Jesus."

This, of course, was ridiculous. My professors loved it when I incorporated Bible verses into my papers. So long as I didn't try to convert them and respected other people's beliefs, they thought it was great.

I discovered this in my Introduction to Shakespeare class. One of my kiss-up classmates had written a paper comparing Juliet Capulet (Romeo and Juliet) to Jesus Christ. The teacher loved the paper and had the kid read it out loud in front of the class. It was quite possibly the stupidest thing I had ever heard. But I was like, if it gets this kid an A, I'm going to try it myself. So, after reading Othello, I wrote a paper comparing Iago with Satan from the Bible. I took passages of Othello where Iago speaks and compared them to verses of the Bible describing Satan.

I got a B-. I was thrilled.

This is a long way of saying I am going to apply these same skills to the following blog post. I am going to compare the God of Malachi 2:3 to Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

Let's start with God: In Malachi 2:3 he claims, "I will corrupt your seed and spread dung on your faces." In Ezekiel 4:15, the Lord proclaims, "See, I have given thee cow's dung for man's dung and thou shalt prepare thy bread thereon."

The lesson here is when God faces someone he dislikes or wants to curse, he spreads poo on their face. Hmmm, now how would Triumph handle this situation.

Triumph would say something like, "Malachi, no no feel free to keep your money and your grain. Your store-house looks great…. FOR ME TO POOP ON!

I keed. I keed. No, no… you're doing great. Bring all your tithes into the store-house. I will open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing. Your vines will be plentiful… ….FOR ME TO POOP ON! No, no no… I keed. I keed."

In conclusion, the God of Malachi 2:3 is not so different than Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Both use poo as a way of dealing with individuals for whom they dislike.

CONSTIPATION?

Posted on February 7th, 2006 by Reformed Pope into the Uncategorized, Pastor Hank category

I was surfing the world wide web today and I came across this gem: CBC is putting out a magazine (only Tithe knows why) called In Community. Now, I have to admit they have a great marketing plan. On the cover in big bold letters it says “Find out why Pastor Frank is all revved up”. I’m hooked.

Why is Pastor Frank Damazio of City Bible Church in Portland, OR getting all revved up? I can only assume that the latest Member Tithing Report came out and that the numbers are up, but then I thought…what if the leaders just gave in and approved getting the helicopter he’s wanted so badly? That sure would get my engine going.

But what if he’s revved up because he’s angry? Maybe he saw our City Business’ Logo and thought “What the Tithe?, that looks similar to our logo. Why don’t we have that thing Trademarked yet?”

Or even better, perhaps he just read the lyrics to Frankie the Titheman.

“Clinkety clink clink Clinkety clink clink Look at Frankie go

Clinkety clink clink Clinkety clink clink into the bucket it goes”

While I am dying to find out what it is, I guess I’ll just have to wait like everyone else.In the mean time, lets have a contest: It’s the WHY IS PASTOR FRANK REVVED UP contest. I’d like you, the reader, to take a stab at why Frank Damazio is so hyped. There won’t be a prize handed out (I’m saving our money to fight the impending lawsuit), but there will be the satisfaction of knowing that you guessed WHY PASTOR FRANK WAS SO REVVED UP?

PASTOR FRANK DAMAZIO IS SO REVVED UP BECAUSE:

Coldplay

Posted on February 6th, 2006 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

This has nothing to do with God, the Bible or tithing. But I know our readers have a pretty good taste in music, and I think some may appreciate this Coldplay link. I have been singing this song all week.

http://www.everythingsoundslikecoldplaynow.com/

Twenty-our things (most) Episcopalians Believe (on good days)

Posted on February 6th, 2006 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

I received the following email from someone who referred to themselves as the worst student PBC has ever seen. I thought David Straup had that title wrapped up, but apparently Dave’s got some competition. I’ll have to let him know.

Twenty-four things (most) Episcopalians Believe (on good days):

1. Some Episcopalians will take issue with some or all of what follows. Most Episcopalians believe more or less than 24 things! So this list is not the last word!

2. God is Creator. God is creative love. God is life-giving Spirit. God is thus three “persons” of one “being.”

3. “God is closer to us than we are to ourselves” –St. Julian of Norwich. God is also “wholy other”, beyond our knowing. We live in this paradox.

4. God is manifested vividly, fully, compellingly, in Jesus of Nazareth, who lived, taught, healed, proclaimed a new commonwealth, was killed, and raised to life. He is God’s “Word” made flesh.

5. Jesus remains among us to invite resurrection from the many forms of death around us and in us and to offer us the gift of life.

6. Evil is real. We are capable of doing evil. In our baptism we renounce it. And God transforms evil into his own good and gives us the will and strength to transform it in ourselves and the world.

7. Community with Jesus as the center, grounded in the life of God, enlivened by the Spirit, is a gift. The institutional church is a major way that community is accessible to us. So even as an institution the church is a sacred thing. But God is not captive to the fallibilities of the church!

8. Christian community becomes what it is in sacramental acts, specific, tangible, material things in which the mystery of God’s love is made known to us, especially in Baptism and the Lord’s supper or Eucharist or Mass. Those “religious” sacraments help us to see everything sacramental; the whole world discloses the generosity of God, the whole world is a sacrament of grace.

9. The worship of the community involves everyone and is the offering of the special gifts of each.

10.Christian community does not exist for itself, but to invite the transformation of the world. The community becomes what it is not only in “sacramental acts” but in reaching out with Christ’s love, justice and mercy to heal and free. Christian community works best when it is self-monitoring. Our leaders engage in an annual process of self-examination. Our leadership is trained to identify and prevent the spread of such institutional evils as racism and child abuse.

11.Uniformity of beliefs and disciplines is stifling. Our differences disclose the variety of gifts the Spirit gives. We will have different perceptions about what friendship with God requires of us. So we don’t tell each other what to do or make judgments about each other. We do try to be supportive of each other. We try to be “a church in which there are no outcasts” as our former Presiding Bishop puts it. We struggle hard to overcome those fears which keep us from being fully inclusive. God is not through with us yet. So we strive to be a community in which we have “in all things essential, unity; in all things non-essential, diversity; in all things, charity.”

12.The full participation of women in all aspects of the church and the honoring of their gifts is something the Spirit requires of us. There is no place in the church which is not women’s place. As women’s full participation in the community and special gifts are respected we discover that God is not only our Father but our Mother.

13.Abortion is an agonizingly complex question. We are both pro-life and pro-choice. Those seemingly contradictory positions seem to us to be consistent and reasonable. We are pro-life because a fetus is potential human life in a unique way and requires respect and reverence. On the other hand the life and health of a woman is of considerable moral meaning. When those claims for life conflict, women and their husbands and families and physicians are the best people to make moral judgments. The state needs to respect the moral agency of these people. And the Church needs to emphasize the sacred and fragile nature of God’s gift of life. We struggle with this issue.

14.On the whole, truth is likely to be found more in what is affirmed than in what is denied and more in “both/ands” than in “either/ors”. So black and white thinking and thinking dominated by negations probably is not helpful.

15.Institutions are necessary, but should be kept in the service of community, not the other way around. Hierarchies seem not to be the wave of the future, at least not the future of God, who creates not from above but from the midst of the world. The kinds of hierarchy which remain part of church life exist to serve the people of God, not to dominate them. There are some among us who don’t get this.

16.The Scriptures speak God’s truth with special power and are God’s Word. Simplistic and literalistic interpretations may miss the point of what God says to us.

17.Tradition is a treasure through which we can discern God’s future, not something with which to enshrine our past. There is much rich insight in the tradition which helps us to look forward to God’s future. “Tradition is the living faith of the dead, traditionalism is the dead faith of the living.” (Jaroslav Pelikan’s “The Vindication of Tradition”)

18.Reason is a gift. We should accept it even in religious matters. We affirm the importance of an ongoing conversation between the voices of faith and those of science, art, culture, economics and public life.

19.Some of us know conversion as a specific, sudden experience. Most of us know it as a life-long process. Those who know it as a specific experience find that it is authenticated in a life-long process of growth.

20.Friendship with God and God’s people is serious, but it is held lightly in joy. Play is as religious as work.

21.Friendship with God is acted out mostly in our daily lives in what we do, with few pronouncements.

22.Anyone who claims to speak for God should do so only after listening in much silence.

23.Any church with Henry VIII among its members surely would understand something about forgiveness!

24. We are not the true church. But we are part of it! It has many parts. In affirming loyalty to our own church we do not disparage others.

This statement was mostly written by the Rev. Canon Ronald Osborne.

I still haven’t found what I’m tithing for.

Posted on February 4th, 2006 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

A couple of people have mentioned Bono’s recent speech at the National Prayer Breakfast. So I thought I would share the section where he discusses tithing. (Yes, we’ve beaten this issue to death. But without it, you never would have gotten to hear “Little Tither Boy”. So, for that reason alone, we will continue to talk about tithing.)

The whole speech is actually pretty good. I’m not sure when Bono became the World’s Spiritual Leader, probably about the same time, Dr. Phil became popular. But, as Henri emailed me:

“Personally, I think he’s the anti-christ.. but he has some interesting thoughts.”

And here they are:

Mr. President, Congress, people of faith, people of America:

I want to suggest to you today that you see the flow of effective foreign assistance as tithing…. Which, to be truly meaningful, will mean an additional one percent of the federal budget tithed to the poor.

What is one percent?

One percent is not merely a number on a balance sheet.

One percent is the girl in Africa who gets to go to school, thanks to you. One percent is the AIDS patient who gets her medicine, thanks to you. One percent is the African entrepreneur who can start a small family business thanks to you. One percent is not redecorating presidential palaces or money flowing down a rat hole. This one percent is digging waterholes to provide clean water.

Jesus Loves The Little Tither

Posted on February 3rd, 2006 by Reformed Pope into the Uncategorized, Songs that mock category

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how tithing is directly related to the Abrahamic Covenant of Blessing. And while I don’t know much about the Abrahamic Covenant I do know about mocking people with song.

I have re-written the lyrics to an old childrens classic. As with all our songs they are much funnier if you actually sing them…and in this case act them out. Let’s all join in a circle and sing:

FATHER ABRAHAMIC

Father Abrahamic
Had many covenants
Many covenants had father Abrahamic
Blessings one of them
And so is blessing
So lets all give our tithe
Check book.

Father Abrahamic
Had many covenants
Many covenants had father Abrahamic
Blessing is one of them
And so is blessing
So lets all give our tithe
Check book, Pay in cash

Father Abrahamic
Had many covenants
Many covenants had father Abrahamic
Blessings one of them
And so is blessing
So lets all give our tithe
Check book, Pay in cash, Get your wallet
Father Abrahamic
Had many covenants
Many covenants had father Abrahamic
Blessings one of them
And so is blessing
So lets all give our tithe
Check book, Pay in cash, Get your wallet, Credit Card,

First Response

Posted on February 2nd, 2006 by Reformed Pope into the Uncategorized, Tithe, Scriptures category

WWJD, Survivor, Chocolate Thunder, et al:

It seems like we go through this every few months, but since you’re all new to the blogging ways of the Morton family I’ll be happy to indulge…

I would rather get the families together to discuss this, it takes a lot less time that way, but regardless, here we go.

My first response will be to address the scriptures listed by WWJD under CBC Talking Points. I will hopefully be able to move on to a more humorous post in the near future, but for now we begin with:

GEN 14:18-20
18 Then Melchizedek, king of Salem, brought out bread and wine; he was a priest to God Most High. 19 He blessed him and said:
Abram is blessed by God Most High,
Creator of heaven and earth, 20 and give praise to God Most High
who has handed over your enemies to you.And Abram gave him a tenth of everything

Abram gave Melchizedek a tenth of everything. This was not commanded by God or anyone. If you research this scripture in any study Bible you will likely find that what Abram did was a custom not a command.

Gen 28:20-22

“If God will be with me and protect me on this journey and give me food and clothing, 21 and if he will bring me back safely to my father, then I will make the LORD my God. 22 This memorial pillar will become a place for worshiping God, and I will give God a tenth of everything he gives me.”
Again not a command from God, but a decision by Jacob… his decision is even conditional: “IF God will be with me…”

LEV 27:30
30 ”A tenth of the produce of the land, whether grain or fruit, belongs to the LORD and must be set apart to him as holy.

This is the best sounding scripture so far, unfortunately if you read the whole book of Leviticus you find that Christians ignore 90% of the laws it sets forth.

When was the last time CBC stoned someone for Blasphemy? Lev 24:16 “Anyone who blasphemes the LORD’s name must be stoned to death by the whole community of Israel. Any Israelite or foreigner among you who blasphemes the LORD’s name will surely die.” How many Christians agree with the death penalty? Lev 24:17 ”Anyone who takes another person’s life must be put to death.”

There are many examples like this throughout the book. Read it.

DT 12:17
17 ”But your offerings must not be eaten at home – neither the tithe of your grain and new wine and olive oil, nor the firstborn of your flocks and herds, nor an offering to fulfill a vow, nor your freewill offerings, nor your special gifts.

Back up 2 verses and see DT 12:15-16. 15 ”But you may butcher animals for meat in any town, wherever you want, just as you do now with gazelle and deer. You may eat as many animals as the LORD your God gives you. All of you, whether ceremonially clean or unclean, may eat that meat. 16 The only restriction is that you are not to eat the blood. You must pour it out on the ground like water.

I like my meat rare, am I going to hell for that?

DT 26:12
12 “Every third year you must offer a special tithe of your crops. You must give these tithes to the Levites, foreigners, orphans, and widows so that they will have enough to eat in your towns.

Should we only tithe every third year? Should we always tithe but give a special tithe every third year? Throw this scripture out of your study, it does more harm than good.

1 CH 6:45
54 This is a record of the towns and territory assigned by means of sacred lots to the descendants of Aaron who were from the clan of Kohath

2 CH 31:5
5 The people responded immediately and generously with the first of their crops and grain, new wine, olive oil, honey, and all the produce of their fields. They brought a tithe of all they owned

This is a great ideal. If people acted this way today, then there would be no need for this argument. I don’t, however, think the command of that time still stands for us today. You should read further and see the strict way they divided up all the tithe’s brought forth. I know churches don’t follow that formula anymore.

PR 3:9-10
9 Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the best part of everything your land produces. 10 Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with the finest wine.

“Honor the LORD with your wealth…” Is there only one way to do this? By giving 10% of everything you own to God? Is it possible that giving to the poor would also be Honoring the LORD? Would he bless you for that? Even if you weren’t a tither?

Mal 3:9-10
9 You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. 10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the LORD Almighty, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Let me prove it to you!

You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the LORD Almighty, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Let me prove it to you!

This is my favorite. Why is it that I can turn on TBN at any time and here this scripture, but no one ever mentions what it says in Mal 2:2-3 “Honor my name,” says the LORD Almighty, “or I will bring a terrible curse against you… 3 I will rebuke your descendants and splatter your faces with the dung of your festival sacrifices, and I will add you to the dung heap. Why is it that preachers teach so strongly that God will curse you for not tithing, but fail to mention that he will also smear your face with Poo?

Of course outside of this verse I haven’t ever heard of God flinging POO at anyone, so maybe he hasn’t cursed anyone for failing to get their tithe in on time.

2 Cor 9:7
7 You must each make up your own mind as to how much you should give. Don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. For God loves the person who gives cheerfully.

Thank you. This is exactly right. This is what it is all about. It doesn’t help the “tither’s” case, but it is very clear. “You must each make up your own mind as to how much you should give.” It doesn’t say give 10% or I will curse you. It doesn’t say give 10% and I will bless you, it says “make up your own mind” and “give cheerfully”. It then goes on to say how he will provide for you. That’s why it works for CBC. It’s the principle of sowing and reaping. God will take care of his children, especially when they are generous. What you must remember is that Jesus died on the cross to take the Curse away. We don’t have to follow the letter of the law anymore. Through his grace we are saved.

Heb 7:1
1 This Melchizedek was king of the city of Salem and also a priest of God Most High. When Abraham was returning home after winning a great battle against many kings, Melchizedek met him and blessed him.
See my notes on GEN 14:18-20.

OK, My point is this: Many people want to apply certain parts of certain scriptures to our lives today, but they don’t want to apply them all.

I know what you are going to say next because I’ve had this conversation with Marc Estes myself. “Blah, blah, blah, You apply the principle not the rule.” Well that sounds nice, but doesn’t really help your cause. The principle is “Give and you shall receive”, the rule is “Give 10% or get cursed.” Nice try Marc, but I ain’t yo bitch.

Any thoughts?

A thought from someone smart

Posted on February 2nd, 2006 by catalyst into the Comments From Others category

Henry Digby emailed the following comment and asked me to post it:

(also, in case you hadn’t already figured it out, you’re going to start getting a lot of pictures from me. just wait until I find a reason to break into my Evangeline Lilly folder.)

I began attending Bible Temple in 1970 and left in 1985 when I moved to another state.

I often think of the Old Bible Temple that I loved so much. The intensity of the out loud worship was something that I will never forget! I have never found it anywhere else in any other church and I mourn for its passing away.

I remember that, years ago, the Lord told us at Bible Temple that we were a “Philadelphia” church. The Philadelphia church was the only one of the seven churches in the book of Revelation for which the Lord had only good things to say. It was a church deeply involved in its first love for its Lord. Unfortunately, it seems that most churches that find themselves in this category don’t stay there very long. Satan hates a Philadelphia church because of its threat to his plans and purposes.

As the years went by, it seemed to me that Bible Temple slowly drifted away from being a “Philadelphia” church and gradually became an “Ephesus” church, and I feared for Bible Temple’s possible fate, for an Ephesian church is only a short step away from becoming a Laodicean church. You may recall that the Lord’s observation about the Ephesian church was that it had lost its first love and He admonished it to “Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent” (Rev. 2:5).

As the years went by, I often wondered how Bible Temple was doing. I recently returned to Oregon and have had the opportunity to attend several services at Bible Temple, now City Bible. It seems to me that City Bible is no longer an Ephesian church, although it may not completely have become a Laodicean church yet, but it seems to be on its way, and it hurts me very much to say that! Something that really makes me feel uncomfortable is that I cannot see that any of the leadership there seem to be aware that anything is wrong at all!

I remember more than one sermon given at Bible Temple years ago declaring that Satan has one major weapon, and that is deception. And one of the outstanding characteristics of deception is that you are not aware of it for, if you ARE aware of it, you are not deceived! I keep hoping that I am wrong about City Bible, but I suspect that my impression is not very far from the truth. How I wish it were not true. It seems to me that, not only may God have removed Bible Temple’s candlestick “out of his place”, but that He also, in His providence, has removed it’s name. I am afraid, personally, that City Bible is no longer a “Bible” temple!

I have been in mourning for the late Bible Temple for a long time now and wish it could be brought back again.

Sincerely,

Henry A. Digby

City Bible Talking Points

Posted on February 1st, 2006 by catalyst into the City Boobie Church category

The following testimony is from a good friend of mine. We met during a CBC wedding the summer the first Survivor aired. I had been watching the show religiously, but did not know anyone else as obsessed as me. We literally spent two hours going over every detail of the show and pleading with God not to let that fat naked Richard Hatch win it all. He did.

This is all to say, I am happy for him (my friend, not Richard Hatch). But I worry. If City Bible had talking points, this is how they would sound.

I too am a productive and very satisfied CBC member. Not just someone who attends but an actual tithing member. Yes, a tithing member. I give my money to city business church. Since I started tithing on a regular basis, after I finished the partnership class, I have literally doubled my income from $34,000 to over $60,000 a year. Sure I was making enough to live on, but God had better in mind for me. I tithe not because the church tells me too but because my Bible tell me so. It says give my first 10%.

I went from knowing I am saved and that God had his hand in my life to seeing God actively move in my life on a daily basis. My wife and I fell in love again, after 6 years of marriage. My family members got saved. My income increased and most importantly I knew for the first time an invisible God.

Yes, CBC gives more time than the average church to the offering, but it takes millions to move the kind of mountains we move. This church supports thousands of different programs and you cannot do that with out money. We feed over 2 hundred family’s every month who do not have enough money after rent to buy food, but they make too much money for food stamps.

We give cars free and clear to single mothers who otherwise would not have transportation to get their children to the Doctor’s office. We plant and support churches in over 30 nations and in hundreds of different languages.

We are one church that is really touching the nations, And guess what people It takes money. If Mother Teresa was asking for free medical supplies would you judge her for it and call her selfish. No I don’t think you would.

I am one of those few who are not hear to judge anyone I just want to report my good experience with City Bible Church. It is my home and I am so blessed to watch my kids grow up in this house of God.

Welcome Everyone

Posted on February 1st, 2006 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

This is our new blog domain. Hopefully, it will make it easier to read and easier for you to make all those wonderful funny comments.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Henri for helping me create this new site. If you have time, go to this site, www.gimmeabuck.com and give that guy a buck. Come on he’s only $924,000 away from becoming a millionaire.

Heh. Also, for what it’s worth, I am not very computer saavy. As such, it’s gonna take me a while to figure out all the new options. Please be kind.

Feel free to comment on how you like the new look and what else you think we should do with the site.

Archive for February, 2006

Compare and Contrast

CONSTIPATION?

Coldplay

Twenty-our things (most) Episcopalians Believe (on good days)

I still haven’t found what I’m tithing for.

Jesus Loves The Little Tither

First Response

A thought from someone smart

City Bible Talking Points

Welcome Everyone

Unread Comments

Recent Posts

Archives

Categories

Subscription Tools

Search

	It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing. - Damazio 3:16
11 unique visitors in last 30 min. 63 unique visitors today. 425,092 unique visitors since Feb 06. 1,874,914 total hits since Feb 06.