The Bible and being single
Posted on March 30th, 2006 by catalyst into the Uncategorized categoryI promise this is the last article I post from Boundless. But I just read something I can't resist sharing. Dr. Albert Mohler discusses whether it's okay to be single?
Singleness is not a sin, but deliberate singleness on the part of those who know they have not been given the gift of celibacy is, at best, a neglect of a Christian responsibility. The problem may be simple sloth, personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority given to work and profession. On the part of men, it may also take the shape of a refusal to grow up and take the lead in courtship. There are countless Christian women who are prayerfully waiting for Christian men to grow up and take the lead. What are these guys waiting for?
Almost all of the women who have written me have indicated their grief and frustration that they are not yet married. Not one has indicated in her message that she has intended from the beginning to be single and to remain single. To the contrary, each writer has affirmed her own commitment to marriage and to be married, and each has spoken of her personal frustration that her hopes have not been yet fulfilled.
Given this commitment and hope as articulated by these thoughtful young women, it should be clear that when I speak of a pattern of sin in the delay of marriage, I certainly am not attributing that sin to them. To the contrary, as one who believes wholeheartedly in the biblical pattern of complementarity and in the male responsibility to lead, I charge young men with far greater responsibility for this failure
I want to make clear that young men must accept most of the blame for this situation. I will also remind these young men that, armed with a biblical mandate and fueled by Christian passion, they can also be the vanguard for recovery.
Yep. That makes me want to get married.
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March 30th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
“gift of celibacy”? huh?! i’m sure glad i never got that in my christmas stocking.
March 30th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
I bet this fella went to a Bible college. Ignorant, controlling twit. I bet my mom knows this guy.
March 30th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
This guy would have told Jesus to get married.
Actually, I just think that Albert’s Faith is based on a conservative belief system, not Christ.
March 30th, 2006 at 1:33 pm
I think this guy needs to take the lead in picking up the slack for these wronged, single women. Dr. Mohler should put his money where his mouth is and become a polygamist. After all, that’s as “Biblical” as his single men are sinners theory….
March 30th, 2006 at 1:47 pm
go Fezzik. You crack me up.
March 30th, 2006 at 1:49 pm
HA HA HA … oh come on, man … this is a parody web site - how can you resist posting from such a bountiful source of religious buffoonery … you can no more resist publishing that crapola than Mad Magazone can resist parodying Brokeback Mountain …
March 30th, 2006 at 2:12 pm
hahaha.. that is such bs.
funny though. buffoonery.. lol.
March 30th, 2006 at 6:39 pm
Where is your “Christian passion”, Catalyst? I’m just guessing you haven’t been given the “gift of celibacy.” Good grief!
March 30th, 2006 at 7:04 pm
That’s funny coming from someone so well versed in the art of palmistry.
March 30th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
“[Y]oung men…armed with a biblical mandate and fueled by Christian passion, they can also be the vanguard for recovery.”
Isn’t this why we went into Iraq? Will getting married for the sake of being in the “vanguard for recovery” have any better results?
March 31st, 2006 at 8:06 am
Wow. Dr. Mohler’s comments remind me of some kind of Islamic fundamentalist teachings about turning back society’s clock to the way things used to be. I think he probably has some valid points that some young men may delay marrying due to “sloth, personal immaturity, a fear of commitment, or an unbalanced priority given to work and profession”, but there are other factors too:
Gender Equality: Our society no longer requires women to be married. Unlike the Biblical view, women today can travel alone, own property, vote, work (although pay differences may still exist), hold leadership positions, and not wear head coverings. Although Dr. Mohler seems to let women off-the-hook in their responsibility for delayed marriages, the fact remains that women do have other options than to marry. And birth control does give women alternatives to entering marriage due to pregancy
Economic Circumstances: Raising a family comfortably requires significant income and family-wage jobs that are increasingly rare. College debt and peak housing prices may cause some responsible husbands/wives to delay marriage until they have income and assets that can ultimately support a family. (Of course, seeking the American surban dream of having a SUV, two-car garage, and fancy neighborhood may be overkill).
Out-of-wedlock births, Infidelity, and Divorce: Most Christians are probably ashamed to admit, but Christians are just as likely to get knocked-up, cheat, and/or divorce. Afterall, nearly half of us have been raised in single parent homes. So, it’s not surprising for prospective husbands/wives to be cautious before pursuing marriage.
Dr. Mohler’s comments seem to be part of the supposedly “family values” movement that seeks to redefine Christianity into a hetero-family only club. However, wasn’t Jesus and many of his disciples single? Would Dr. Mohler call Jesus irresponsible for not getting married? It could be argued that Jesus did not marry to avoid leaving a widow and child. So, wouldn’t it be prudent for Christians today who believe we are living in the “end times” to reconsider marriage?
Sorry, just thinking out loud.
March 31st, 2006 at 8:37 am
Well, not according to some historians.
March 31st, 2006 at 8:38 am
Mmmmmm….. seeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxx…….
(BTW - Cara is my wife, so my thoughts are 100% “pure”. Mostly. haha.)
March 31st, 2006 at 10:35 am
Is anybody else sick of the militaristic language used in conservative Christianity? I mean, I know about the spiritual warfare and whatnot, and then there were those Crusades which I would think the church wouldn’t want to evoke memories of. And in the context of finding a mate??? That sort of language sure smacks of Bible School grade “God told me you were supposed to marry me” b.s. to me. I know people who know people who had that one whipped out.
(BTW, can I swear on here? I mean, if I wanted to type out “bullshit” instead of “b.s.”, could I do it?? Okay, I’ve got my hypothesis, let’s test it — ready, go!)
March 31st, 2006 at 10:38 am
Yay!! Hypothesis confirmed. Check that motherfucker off the list…
March 31st, 2006 at 11:58 am
So, in the very same magazine, we have an article saying that singlehood is the fault of young women for being intelligent & sucessful and doing sensible things like buying a home. Now, flip to page 3, and being single is the sin of young men who just need to “step it up”. Oh, boy…
I always find it amusing how married people think that because I am a healthy 30-something with a good job and a decent social life, and a Christian, that there is some major defect in my life because I am still single and not married. That I must be ill-suited to ministry or leadership because I don’t have a ring on my left hand. But I digress…
I’ll leave you with this vintage ad for Lysol. It’s just a reminder of how far we’ve come on social issues like marriage and sex, but still manage to come up with braindead ideas and put them in Christian magazines. Read this and tell me which one seems more absurd:
http://community.livejournal.com/vintage_ads/141127.html
March 31st, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Advantages To Dating Over Marriage:
When you are dating….. Farting is never an issue.
When you are married ….You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times.
When you are dating….. He takes you out to have a good time.
When you are married ….He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?”
When you are dating….. He holds your hand in public.
When you are married ….He flicks your ear in public.
When you are dating….. A Single bed for 2 isn’t THAT bad.
When you are married ….A King size bed feels like an army cot.
When you are dating….. You are turned on at the sight of him naked.
When you are married ….You think to yourself “Was he ALWAYS this hairy????”
When you are dating….. You enjoyed foreplay.
When you are married ….You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone???”
When you are dating….. He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.
When you are married ….He grabs your boob any chance he gets.
When you are dating….. You picture the two of you together, growing old together.
When you are married ….You wonder who will die first.
When you are dating….. Just looking at him makes you feel all “mushy.”
When you are married ….When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.
When you are dating….. He knows what the “hamper” is.
When you are married ….The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.
When you are dating….. He understands if you “Aren’t in the mood.”
When you are married ….He says “It’s your job.”
When you are dating….. He understands that you have “male” friends.
When you are married ….He thinks they are all out to steal you away.
When you are dating….. He likes to “discuss” things.
When you are married ….He develops a “blank” stare.
When you are dating….. He calls you by name.
When you are married ….He calls you “Hey” and refers to you when speaking to others as “She.”
April 1st, 2006 at 11:30 am
LOL So true!
April 1st, 2006 at 1:55 pm
“When you are dating….. You enjoyed foreplay.
When you are married ….You tell him “If we have sex, will you leave me alone???””
So sad…
April 1st, 2006 at 2:51 pm
maybe i’m just an oddball (come to think of it, i know i am), but those “advantages” are pretty much crap. i don’t think they’re all that funny or true for that matter. ok, except maybe the first one on farting.
April 1st, 2006 at 5:19 pm
relationships help me get through my day… If I’m with a girl and she makes my day worse and more stressfull, I dump her. Now, of course I’m called a selfish asshole who doesn’t know how to love but the bottom line is I love alot of people i just don’t choose to swap fluids with them.
Women will always want their “assets” to be regarded as something a man can attain nowhere else. Obviously, I have proved many wrong with that one… bottom line is:
Men want to be happy and if beer and a bbq and football fullfill that, there isn’t much else to talk about. If people stop reproducing it wouldn’t be such a bad thing anyway!
April 2nd, 2006 at 7:10 am
I’m not even sure how you get to that biblically. Isn’t Paul’s comment on marriage the equivalent of saying, “I guess it’s okay if you absolutely have to”?
April 2nd, 2006 at 10:32 pm
This is one more example about the sort of thing that pisses me off about fundamentalism. Who says that women need to be in such a narrow role!
Are you also deconstructing fundamentalism?
My good friend Matt and I recently started a MySpace group where we are going to be exploring deconstruction & reconstruction of Christianity in the postmodern context.
We are trying to invite several perspectives to the conversation from the Portland area… including evangelical bible college students from PBC & Mulnomah or the local seminaries.
If you are interested, I would sure appreciate you checking the page out and letting me know your thoughts. Here is the link.
April 5th, 2006 at 5:59 am
I had a guy tell my sister that he would never date me because i am a churchgirl…is that a bad thing?!?
April 5th, 2006 at 7:06 am
Is what a bad thing? Being a churchgirl? (whatever that means) or a guy not wanting to date a church girl? …. i’m confused…. people should date whoever they want to date, and you shouldn’t change yourself just to meet a guy. So my advice, be confident, and chalk it up as that guys loss.
April 5th, 2006 at 7:20 am
Amy - the guy’s remark tells me his intentions with the girls he dates are less than honorable. Sounds like you have a reputation for being a ‘good girl’ - and so wouldn’t want to get tangled up with someone who is looking for a ‘bad girl’.
Don’t tell anyone I said this … but … the guy is a jerk, and you were spared from having to fend off his improper advances …
April 5th, 2006 at 7:35 am
Trust me…I tried to be what a man wanted me to be and did so for 11 years through an extremely abusive marriage. Don’t ever sacrifice who you are for anyone; if you have to do that they aren’t worth it.
April 5th, 2006 at 11:42 am
Amy-
The term church girl implies that you are less than kinky.
That’s about it…
Some guys know this is actually the oposite of the truth but we keep our mouths shut.
Ditto Unscrupulous!
April 5th, 2006 at 11:48 am
Snakes are like girls. You cant touch them till they think you won’t hurt them. If you move to fast you scare them away. Guys are like babies…they’ll touch anything. Sad but true.
April 5th, 2006 at 11:55 am
Bull!
you had a long 11 year experience that tanked! O.k.
P.S. Snakes are beautiful to some and horrifying to others… I tend to think most women are not evil but they do use alterior motives to get their way… maybe they are smarter or maybe it’s in your blood after thousands of years of oppression.. maybe a little Darwin in there somewhere
April 5th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
It’s a joke!
April 5th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
My ex is a spitting cobra … so I hired a mongoose for an attorney.
April 5th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
LOL!