This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Archive for March, 2006

Bracket Time

Posted on March 20th, 2006 by catalyst into the Seasonal category

I would just like to congratulate Mr. Snethen and Fezzik for NOT picking UNC to win it all. You both are obviously much more intelligent than I. 

Go George Mason!

D. Miller

Posted on March 17th, 2006 by catalyst into the About Us category

Steve Duin, a columnist for the Oregonian, recently started up his own blog.  Yesterday, he discussed a recent speeking engagement by Donald Miller at Lake Oswego High School. 

Mr. Duin concludes his post with this quote from D. Miller:

It's possible to grow up in a Christian home, concentrate on Christian friends, attend a Christian college, marry a Christian spouse, spawn a squadron of Christian kids, then start the cycle all over again, all the while refusing to step outside the bubble and engage with anyone who believes anything different. "When that happens," Miller said, "a culture becomes goofy."

Yes. It's called Bible Temple culture.

Actually, the church is not nearly as bad since Mr. Damazio took over for Dick Iverson. I give Frank a hard time about of lot of things, but one thing he did right was to make the church less exclusive. When Dick Iverson was running things, the BT definitely had a certain commune feel.

Steve Duin also links to a recent Theology Professor who attacked Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz.  Our boy Jordan Green, over at the Burnside Collective, scores the fight between Miller and the Professor.   

And in honor of The Perfect Storm (Tournament + St. Patty's Day + Friday = Trouble for Justin's Liver), here's a great section: 

ISSUE TWO
Coppenger’s point entitled Blue like Pabst Blue Ribbon: “I know far too many people who have been destroyed by alcohol to think it’s funny,” said Coppenger. Miller’s familiarity with beer was an offense.
Don’s Response: “I agree with that guy that drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon is a sin. I like Hair of the Dog Fred, at Horse Brass. Newcastle is good, but Pabst is a sin. This guy makes a lot of sense. Does he work at Horse Brass? “
Score: Coppenger 1, Miller 1. (While it is true The Portland Mercury chose Pabst as the number one cheap beer of Portland, we think there are better options. We also think people have to make things up to support a Biblical idea that drinking is wrong. If drinking is wrong, Jesus would have been a pagan, and we don’t think Jesus was a pagan. Point to Miller. It looks like Don is making a comeback, even though he misunderstood Mark’s point and doesn’t seem to be connected to reality.)

Another one bites the dust

Posted on March 17th, 2006 by catalyst into the Pastoral Staff category

Sources close to City Bible have confirmed that Larry Asplund will no longer be teaching at PBC. He is moving on to a "new assignment".  This is all the information I have for now, but I will let you know if I hear more.

And is it just me, or has PBC become a glorified "internship" program?

The Marketplace Church

Posted on March 15th, 2006 by catalyst into the About Us category


I just found out that  a new

coffee shop I have been walking past everyday on my way to work, is also a church. The pastor has been blogging about the coffee shop/church here.  The coffee shop is called Ebenezers and the pastor refers to the church as a Marketplace Church. I have no idea what this means; however it seems like a pretty neat concept.  Since I have an admittedly wonderful addiction to coffee, I will definitely be visiting this "church" several times a week. I anticipate I may even participate in a devotion or two. And by devotion, I mean espresso.

Of course now that I have found a coffee shop/church, you know my next mission. Bar/Church. This is gonna be fun!

sign.bmp

Random Thoughts and Comments

Posted on March 14th, 2006 by catalyst into the Comments From Others category

Here are some Random thoughts and links while I wait for UNC to win the Touranment:

Couv Operator sends a link about a band who is suing their label for calling them a Christian Band. We have fallen a long way since DC Talk come out with Jesus Freak.

Locutus emails a link about a Duke Divinity Student who has started a commune in an urban area of Chapel Hill. The student is the leader of a new commune movement called The New Monastics. (I wonder if they are related to The Aristocrats?) Locutus also emails a warning detailing the perils facing some communes.

One of my college roomates, who oddly enough also just graduated from Duke Divinity School, recently set up an ESPN College Basketball Tournament Bracket. If any of you would like to join JP and I, please feel free: Here's the website.

Lastly, here is a comment from a City Bible member who enjoys his church. The guy doesn't sound bitter. He sounds fairly level headed; he just enjoys his church. He also responds to my charge that Conferences are all about making money.

Hi, I just found your website.  I just started attending CBC, and I gotta say, I really love it there.  I enjoy Pastor Frank as a teacher and a leader.  I enjoy his humilty and his heart for people and for God.  Just a side note on this blog.  I'd been going to the West campus for a few months, and they were talking about how they were really gearing the conference towards the actual church body, and not so much to outsiders. The church member price is $10, not $75, so your calculations are way off.  CBC is far from a perfect church, but I know it's where I am called, and that is what is important.  To follow God the best you know how.  I did however laugh at this blog, you are a funny satirical man, and I enjoy that.

Financial Peace University

Posted on March 13th, 2006 by catalyst into the City Boobie Church category

Next month City Bible is holding a Financial Peace University seminar. The serminar is taught through video-tape by Dave Ramsey, a nationally syndicated radio host.  In 13 weeks and for $100, Dave will teach City Bible members how to save money and change their financial behavior.

For me, this is fine. It is good to learn to save money and live within your means. I just think everyone already knows this and they probably don't need a 13 week course. They need self-discipline. But I suppose the seminar can't hurt.

What I found interesting was the secion on City Bible's website discussing what the Bible says about money. I am not sure who they got to write this section, but the person sounds a little condescending. The page lists verses in the bible that mention money, and then shares a short comment on what that verse means. Check it out.  

And you have to admire Mr. Damazio's persistence in continuing to claim that his ministery is to Business Leaders. Someone has to do it, and I guess he has placed that mantle upon himself.

But I would just be a lot more impressed with Mr. Damazio if he had founded City Bible himself. If he had started a church in his living room centered around ministering to the rich, and subsequently caused that church to grow into a multi-campus church.

But he didn't. He took an already existing church, alienated the current pastoral staff and long time members. Focused primarily on the rich members and preached on tithing for 7 consecutive years.  So I'm not impressed.  And I'm not impressed with his discussion on money. And I really think he should focus on other issues.

Testimony Time

Posted on March 10th, 2006 by catalyst into the Comments From Others category
Here is an excellent testimony from Micah Modrall. I had to cut some of it out, because it's a little long, but if you want to read his whole comment click here:
I grew up in BT/CBC, was involved in the homeschooling program, and also attended TCS/CCS for several years. My experience with the Church can be characterized in the same way that many people have chosen to depict it on this blog: overall, it was empty, meaningless, often discouraging, and sometimes a painful experience.
It was not until after I left the Church, for good, that I was able to understand, and view things outside the bubble of isolation that many are so comfortable living within. I saw how superficial members and leaders were, how little concerned the Church was, with pursuing the original teachings of Jesus (e.g. feeding the poor, egalitarianism, open commensality, healing, and abandonment of temporal dependence, etc), and was given the opportunity, finally, to grow and mature on my own, without oppressive social expectations of the Church.
What I discovered, is, that most of my new (secular) friends, were not only more accepting and appreciative, but also, usually, characterized by a greater level of moral integrity.
Not having gained anything from the Church spiritually, and finding out, that, often times, people I met outside CBC’s influence, were of greater value to me as friends, made it very easy for me to never attend another Church service again — I felt no guilt, no greater absence of God in my life (versus before), and was able to focus on learning and discovering who I really was, and what purpose and meaning God had given my life, free from the legalism, conformity, and hypocrisy provided by CBC.
Now, certainly, there were good people who participated in the schools, programs, and services affiliated with CBC, however, in my experience, it goes without saying, that the bad heavily outweighed the good.
So, in conclusion, I guess what I really would like to say, is that I totally support this forum/blog, but, would like to see people devoting more energy into creating something BETTER then what CBC offers. This does not mean go out and start your own Church; it means go out and start your own personal, individual movement. Do whatever it is that you need to do, in order to improve the quality of your life and those around you, go out of your way to make sacrifices and work to achieve YOUR goals and dreams!
People will follow, that is what they do. Follow. Lets try and give all those CBCers something better to live for, show them that meaningful ways DO exist to express the love of Jesus.
Just my two cents.
That's actually more like a dollar's worth of opinion. But still good thoughts and insight.

Drive-In Church

Posted on March 9th, 2006 by catalyst into the Tithe category

You have got to check out these pictures of a Drive-In Church in Florida.

http://www.time.com/time/photoessays/2006/drive_in_church/

It's amazing.

You know what rhymes with Satire? Fat Tire. …mmmmm…

Posted on March 9th, 2006 by catalyst into the Pastoral Staff category

JP and I have a general rule that whenever an elder at City Bible posts a comment we throw that comment on the front of our blog. It gives us something to talk about and proves once again that the pastors still read us. (I’m as shocked as anyone).

And this morning our dear friend Larry Asplund broke his long silence and commented on the blog, noting my decision to ban Financial Blessings. 

Here’s what he said:

That’s the thing about satire, isn’t. It eventually comes back around like a boomerang and bites you in the butt.

I’ll be honest, I am not sure his point here. But I do not think it is positive. And you know what, no biggie. We criticize his church, he criticizes us. Fair deal. I am just kind of surprised he chose this issue on which to comment. I mean we did blog for a couple of weeks when City Bible fired two of his colleagues. But I guess he was like, "Whatever."

But we silence his protege F.B., and Asplund’s got to be heard.  

Fair enough though. Mr. Asplund, you are welcome to comment anytime.

Look to the Cross

Posted on March 8th, 2006 by catalyst into the Politics category

Bart Ehrman is a University of North Carolina theology professor who no longer believes in God. Bart did not lose his faith due to a desire to sin or a personal crisis. Bart Ehrman lost his faith because of his intense research into the Bible. At one time, he was a "pillar of Christian Conservative."  However, his research caused him to lose faith.

In a recent Washington Post article Mr. Ehrman offers this interesting tidbit:

Sometimes Christian apologists say there are only three options to who Jesus was: a liar, a lunatic or the Lord," he tells a packed auditorium here at the University of North Carolina, where he chairs the department of religious studies. "But there could be a fourth option — legend."

This is an Interesting statement, but to me rather irrelevant. It only proves why Christianity is called Faith. It takes Faith to believe. At some point, you cannot prove God exists, nor can you prove God does not exist. It comes down to a personal relationship with Christ. You believe what you believe, and no on can take that from you. That is what makes Faith so powerful.

Now before you accuse me of trying to copy JP’s excellent novel/blog below, let me say what prompted me to mention this on the blog is really another blogger’s response.

Andrew Sullivan mentioned the same WaPo article in his blog, and one of Andrew’s readers responded.

"You ignore a large part of Bart’s spiritual journey, which was mentioned but not focused on in the article, a point with which any of his students are forever impressed. The suffering. Ehrman finally saw a human world unconstrained by even the simplest of moral logic, and this is what broke him. I think it’s not so much that Ehrman doesn’t believe there is a God (he does say he’s agnostic), but that he simply doesn’t want to believe in a God that doesn’t care. This is a question that religion has never addressed with anything but the most hollow and strained assurances."

 
To which Andrew responds:
 
My own Catholic response to that existential dilemma is simply the cross. I remain a believer because I believe that the divine did not stop suffering but instead chose to embrace and thereby transcend it. Does that somehow end human suffering? Of course not. Does it logically solve the problem? Not without faith or an encounter with Christ himself. But it doesn’t avoid the problem, it seems to me, either. It places it at the center of Christian faith.
 
I thought Andrew’s response was excellent. And it’s odd, because Andrew is a practicing Catholic who fervently defends his faith and promotes it in his blog. I used to grow up thinking Catholic’s weren’t really Christians, but it is so obviously untrue, and it is responses like this that only further cement my support of Catholicism.
  
The other interesting tidbit is that Andrew Sullivan is gay; a practicing homosexual. It is such a shame he is not getting into Heaven.