I wanna Go Deeper
Posted on June 19th, 2006 by Reformed Pope into the Conferences categoryEverybody's buddy, Arcane Warrior, recently sent me this email.
I am attaching the link to a pdf version of a flyer I reveiced in the mail. It is called Seminars4Worship. On this 2 day seminar, I can learn a lot of new stuff about how to worship. If I act now, I can go to this conference for only $195. If I am an alumni, (meaning that I have gone before I assume) then the cost is $99. If I wait, I pay $249.
But wait, here's the good part. If I want to get the "Go Deeper" package, the cost jumps to $499. Granted, I will get one Integrity Worship Institute Class for free if I pay this amount.
I am losing heart.
Here's the link:
http://www.seminars4worship.com/images/S4W-web-broch-021606.pdf
If that seminar doesn't interest you try http://www.cmtc.org/. According to the brochure I received "If you are ready for increase you MUST attend this event". For only $119 (workbook not included) you will learn how to keep your money from the IRS.
Remember "GOD CANNOT AND WILL NOT BLESS A MESS" (apparently they don't consider being born a sinner a "MESS" and salvation a "BLESSING", but with all the new tithe laws who can blame them).
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June 19th, 2006 at 8:34 am
On the willows there we hung up our lyres
For our captors there required of us songs
And our tormenters’ mirth
Saying, sing us one of the songs of Zion
Sing us one of the songs of Zion
Sing us one of the songs of Zion
But how can we sing
Sing the Lord’s song
In a foreign land?
On the willows there we hung up our lyres
June 19th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Does a house of merchandise (see also den of thieves) count as a “foreign land”? Maybe not, capitalists that we are….but it would still seem that this is no excuse. The whole thing makes me queasy….and yet again, they’ve managed to get me on more than one front. Not only is this whole merchandising business totally yucky in and of itself, the fact that what they’re marketing is sort of the opposite of a real musical education really just hacks me off even more. Nothing like using fourth-rate crap instead of something with artistic integrity to address the Divine, and then making money on workshops that aren’t about gaining any kind of valuable skills, because you’re just immersing people in more of the aforementioned fourth-rate crap. Oh, and I don’t think they allow lyres at this kind of thing. I think they’re probably more into synthesizers with “string sounds”.
Good thing I’m still jet-lagged….I can’t even really summon the energy to get too fired up about it.
I do feel like I’ve missed out big time on trading words with this Arcane Warrior character…..
And when are we having another blog get-together?
June 19th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
“Artistic integrity”, “real musical education”, “fourth-rate crap”, MORE! MORE! MORE, Jiminy!
June 19th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
AW - I’d like to recommend the book Snakes in the Lobby by Scott MacLeod. It’s his account of a vision from God, about the Christian ‘Music Industry’.
Welcome back, Jiminy! Didn’t realize your home was in the People’s Republic of Boulder …
June 20th, 2006 at 12:46 am
Snakes in the Lobby?
SNAKES ON A PLANE!
June 20th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Arcane here. Can’t say I’ve missed you Jimminy, but I appreciate your view on music. Would comment more, but I have been working on a project.
June 21st, 2006 at 6:22 am
Sounds like the makings of a Stephen King movie.
Or maybe the beginning of a Dr. Seuss poem:
Snakes in the lobby
Snakes on a plane
Snakes are my hobby
Snakes in a drain
…
The book really didn’t tell me anything about the Christian music industry I didn’t already know on some level; from my late teens when I entered a few songs in a evaluation/competition and was told to trim the words to something very simple and repetitive (the ‘hook’) and shorten it to not more than 3:30 long - while the local audiences I was singing for asked for those songs specifically during the encore. Or the time I asked for permission to record an old Jack Hayford song (from the early 70’s) to include in one of my give-away CDs, and was told I’d have to purchase an expensive license “because the author deserves to be paid for his song” (like the author doesn’t have enough money already, and would be financially harmed that I recorded his song to give to a few friends).
One of my favorite old songwriters is Don Francisco - somewhere he wrote about the time he received an award for “He’s Alive” and stepped out on stage to sing it with just his guitar, and the record company exec who was there pitched a fit and insisted Don sing it to the accompaniment track, rather than just do a live guitar/vocal only version as Don had written it. The exec argued that the label had spent a wad of cash on the song and by God the contract required Don to use the trax.
…
As for worship - the most wonderful worship I was ever part of, was in a living room, with fewer than 2 dozen people; only a guitar was used or the singing was acapella. No sound system, overheads, or other technology. In fact, several times when I’ve brought my sound system to a home church / conference type gathering, the system has caused problems as people hogged the microphone - mic’s and PA systems have a way of exalting one voice/speaker while silencing every one else, which is contrary to 1 Cor. 14:26 and the equal voice / equal access intended for God’s people in a gathering.
Less that sound crazy in this high-tech world of ours, has anyone besides me while listening to a pastors sermon wanted to interject/interrupt him to ask a question, voice discernment, rebuke error, etc., but felt you could not because he was at the mic / behind the podium? Just seems to me like technology interferes with the flow of the Spirit in the assembly - in that somehow the person with the mic is the person who is in charge / has the power.
But in a home situation, where people are sitting in a circle, around the supper table or living room, everyone is equal; it’s an environment more conducive to sharing equally.
I dream of a day when people in the congregation will stand up in their place, and question / rebuke the pastor for the stuff (error) he’s preaching and will boldly speak what the Spirit says in its place.
June 21st, 2006 at 7:40 am
I think Checkmarks was referring to this Snakes on a plane.
John, you took me back a few years with the Don Francisco reference. We had a tape of his growing up that we played to death.
June 21st, 2006 at 9:47 am
Gimme pop culture for $100, Alex. Bzzzzt! Maybe pdxrn and FFTM will gimme a “duh” for my boneheaded remark.
Fezzik - did you know Don recorded a song about CBC? Check out:
The CBC Song
Other’s of his songs can be heard at http://www.rockymountainministries.org/membersite2.html
June 21st, 2006 at 10:01 am
Thanks for the links. That song and “Balaam” were two of my favorites.
“When the Lord starts using you, don’t ya pay it any mind. He coulda used the dog next door if He’d been so inclined.”
Words to remember….
There was one song I couldn’t find. All I remember of it was it involved the devil tempting somebody, but I didn’t see it on his site. Oh well, might have to dig around in the garage tonight.
I wouldn’t worry too much about Snakes and planes. I only know about it because it’s gotten a little bit of a cult following on Fark….
June 21st, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Jack…never.
June 22nd, 2006 at 6:58 am
For $500, you could take vocal lessons for 20 weeks and stop offending your neighbor with your awful screeching during the worship. Or, you could take one (perhaps two?) classes at a local community college in music or the arts.
Drat, I could make a killing doing these fake conferences!
June 22nd, 2006 at 7:30 am
FICM…..
Does memory serve me? Are you a musician? Maybe we SHOULD start offering conferences, except NOT fake ones. Maybe we could still make a killing……
Although, being up-front about the fact that it’s for self-improvement and that students are expected to make actual progress may definitely weed out a lot of our proposed target market. Remember, conferences aren’t really about BEING better or GETTING better. They’re about FEELING better. So, any skill that takes time to build (anything worth building, in my opinion) can’t be adequately addressed in a conference-type environment. It is still true that a TV dinner is not as tasty nor as good for you as a home-cooked meal, but it is also true that the yuppie Christian aesthetic is geared towards the TV-dinner-instant-gratification school of thought, despite everything that is available for us to know about the world and human development/behavior. 20 weeks is simply too long to wait (and 20 lessons for $500 is a STEAL).
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:14 pm
I guess what got me about this was the magnitude of the seminars they are putting on. I know a couple of the churches and those seat 1000+. If my math is right, this seminar will bring in between 100K and 250K. On top of that there were big name corporate sponsorships.
What is happening to us? Even mission trips are not deemed successful unless there is “magnitude.”
Jesus chose 12.
Those 12 changed the world.
Waaaaaaait a minute… A new archaeological dig just discovered a ticket stub from Peter’s, “Save the World Memorial Concert.” Price to attend: 10 minas. But wait, there is a “water walkers” class for only an additional 5 minas. Let’s see, 3000 at Jerusalem x 10 = 30,000 + held over concert of 5,000 gives a cool 80,000 minas. That’s a cool $2,000,000 in today’s money. 10 minas is = to about $250 today.
There is a lot of money being made here off of the church.
God forgive us. We don’t have a clue!
June 23rd, 2006 at 11:21 am
Apparently you guys haven’t heard the news! There is no need for worship bands, musicians, organists, music ministers or choir directors with the all new DIGITAL HYMNAL.
Coming soon - the DIGITAL SERMON!
June 23rd, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Digital sermon — with all an all new feature - Dial-a-guilt. Provide just the right amount of guilt to spring your conmgregation into action. Special tithe and offering module available at an additional fee.