Song Parody: Beverly Hillbillies
Posted on July 22nd, 2006 by catalyst into the Uncategorized categoryTTTO: The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song (Ballad of Jed Clampett)
Come 'n' listen to a story 'bout a man named Frank
A word o' faith preacher with no money in the bank
Searching for a message that would reel the suckers in
He said "Give and God'll make you rich" with an evil grin
Tithe that is. Frank's gold. Lotsa green.
Well the first thing ya know ol' Frank has got 'em wowed
Elders said "Frank needs a bigger crowd"
Said "on the hilltop" is the place you ought to be
So he loaded up his soapbox and moved to CBC
Portland, that is. Twin domes. Starbucks.
Now it's time to say goodbye to Frank and all his ilk
They're servin' up the yeast and waterin' down the milk
They know that you'll come back next week to feel-good CBC
To pick your pockets clean again for their prosperity
Leaven heaven that is. Jumbotron. Have a latte.
Written by Anonymous
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July 22nd, 2006 at 12:18 pm
I can’t stop laughing. I think we need a “Green Acres” follow up.
July 22nd, 2006 at 2:18 pm
I love songs.
July 22nd, 2006 at 6:07 pm
To the tune of Gilligan’s Island:
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,
A tale that makes me sick.
That started in this NW town,
With a man we called Dick.
Now Frank was a mighty salesman,
Richard brave and sure.
Five decade’s work went south that day,
Once Frank’s grip was sure, once Frank’s grip was sure…
Tithing was just not enough,
And who cares about the lost?
Instead he focused on the wealthy few,
And forgot about the cross; he forgot about the cross.
The church it grew, it split in two, and yet it still wants more,
With Damazio, Marc Estes too,
Ken Malmin, and his Wife,
Ed Schefter, Robert J. and Howard R.
They’re all in denial.
July 23rd, 2006 at 2:23 am
I hate songs.
July 24th, 2006 at 2:48 pm
Yes!
much more pleasant to think of Theme Songs than watch John 444 beat the crap out of Jiminy…
I would like to know the age, height and weight of each of those two, just so I know who to back in the “final match” when they both get to heaven. -_-
July 24th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
50, 6′, and none of your damn business, however, if you know anything about physics, specifically mass and the acceleration thereof, the Cricket would be a grease spot in short order.
However, I would never allow that to happen. Strange as it may seem, I like Jiminy in a male-emasculating sort of way.
By the way. You’re a dumbass.
July 24th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
I’m feelin’ it all around this place
July 25th, 2006 at 7:14 am
I hope you don’t think I called you a dumbass, Dumbass, because I didn’t. Note the smilie face, which nullifies
the use of dumbass, Dumbass.
Hope that clarifies everything
July 25th, 2006 at 8:18 am
As one proud member in a group of dumbasses, I do not have the “intellegence” to know/note what emiticons symbolize.
I am just now grasping words and punctuation.
Sincerely,
Dumbass
July 25th, 2006 at 8:38 am
Ah.
Perhaps you would benefit from the Bill Clinton School of Elocution? One of our frequent bloggers, who shall remain nameless, was class valedictorian! Why, her graduation speech so throughly demonstrated a command of the method, that the audience left wondering if they’d actually heard anything at all. Once mastered, you are guaranteed plausible deniability for even the most embarrassing of verbal faux pas.
I highly recommend it
July 29th, 2006 at 9:43 am
The Brady Bunch a whole new way:
Here’s the story of a church named B.T.
Who was bringing up very godly boys and girls,
All of them had hearts of gold, like their leaders,
The youngest ones were pearls.
Here’s the story, of a man named Damazio,
Who was busy with a big church of his own,
He was preaching of uniting all together,
Yet he felt all alone.
Till the one day when this fellow met with B.T.
And he knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow form a business.
That’s the way they all became the City Bunch.
The tithing bunch, those City Bunch.
That’s the way they all became the City Bunch.