Police caught polygamist  Warren Jeffs, outside of Law Vegas early this week. Jeffs is the leader of the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and was wanted on Sex Crime charges for forcing 13 year old girls to marry 40 year old men.

Ever since reading Under the Banner of Heaven, I have always hoped the police would catch this guy. Jeffs uses religion and fear to convince his flock to follow him. In early 1999, he prophecied that Christ would return and the world would end in 2000. When the world didn't end, he blamed his congregation, claiming their sins kept Christ away.  

Jeffs also told his followers that he would never be caught, because God would protect him.

…hmm…

Someone should have told him that God doesn't protect people in Vegas. Because even God believes that What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

I just found a blog by a man who is considering accepting a leadership position at City Bible's Vancouver Campus.

Here's what he has to say:

City Bible Church is in the process of setting up a third campus in Vancouver Washington, just across the border from Portland.  I have felt drawn to become involved with this campus for some time now.  It turns out that my new employer is one of the key players in making this happen.  It also turns out that my mentor Jack Louman is going to be the Executive Pastor in charge of this campus as well.  I actually did not know this at the time I made the decision to take this job. 

The blogger continues:

Jack has told me a number of times that he feels that God is calling me to take on a leadership role a City Bible Church.  I found out friday that they need about 100 leaders right away (beginning in January) because even though it is a brand new campus there are already about 1,000 people that have expressed their desire to be a part of that congregation right away.  My new employer is one of these pastors.

Who knows how much of this is actually true. But it sounds like the Vancouver Campus is getting off to a good start.

There are times I wish I was a Scientologist. Christians get fire and brimstone and 10 weeks of tithing sermons.

Scientologists get Superpowers.

(Thanks to Pete for sending this in).

Here's a good article in the Post Magazine about a couple who improved their finances by taking a class at their local church. 

Snip:

The Sievers, both in their forties, reordered their priorities, vowing to pay off all their debt within a year and give to the poor. Carl sold his Toyota Camry for $5,000, and the couple used the money to pay off the loan on Catherine's car. Carl bought a Ford Ranger pickup with 200,000 miles on it for $500, and he drives it to his job at IBM downtown. They got a smaller apartment, lopping $300 off their rent. Catherine, a legal secretary, gave up $200 a month in new clothes. Instead of buying the $4,000 in furniture they had wanted, the couple bought things off Craigslist, including a one-year-old high-end Sony TV for $200. If they can't afford something, they wait until they can.

Here is a tithing couple, who actually seem to understand finances.

An article in Boundless Webzine has a great disucssion on what the Bible says about premarital sex.

Which is, um, not very much.

I think it's interesting that the Evangelical Community makes premarital sex such a huge issue, when in fact the Bible really doesn't say that much about it. I mean Jesus thought it was so important that he never mentioned it once during his time on earth.

I'm not here to support premarital sex. But it does seem like another one of those issues where the Church is just intepreting the Bible to support what they believe. Not honestly reading the Bible and examining what it says.

Anyway, read the whole thing. I found it really interesting.

Oh, and it reminds me of something a friend in college told me, when I told him I thought sex before marriage was immoral.

"Justin, it's not pre-marital sex, if you don't plan on getting married."

A group of Southerners have started a new Christian Ministry titled, Wrestling for Jesus.  

Why this ministry, you ask?

By using wrestling as a platform to tell a story centered around scriptures directly dealing with God's salvation, these wrestlers were able to present the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ.

In my mind, good for them. God can use anyone. 

Though if you get a chance to check out the Wrestlers, I think you'll agree with me that the Lord may have a little more difficulty using this group, than say your typical Evangelical Ministry  But whatever. …good times…

This link made me think of the story in Genesis 32, where Jacob wrestles an Angel. And I went back and re-read those verses again. Here' s a quick refresher:

24 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day.

25 And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him.

26 And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.

27 And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob.

30 And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.

Now I am not one to question the Lord's methods of motivation.

But, am I crazy, or did the Lord just send down the Gayest. Angel. Alive.

…I'm just saying…

(fighting.urge.to.make.Brokeback Mountain.joke.)

(Thanks to Funny Guy Chris for sending this to me.)

 We recently received this comment from one of our UK readers. He seems troubled. We've been wanting to add a "Dear Morton" section to our blog, but had decided that advice might not really be our strong point. Anyway, let's give it a try:

Dear Morton,  

I stumbled upon your blog whilst surfing the net. I live in the UK and attend one of CBC's affiliates here, pastored by Rick and Merilee Johnston who are in essence very nice people. However, there is this drive towards a £6million building project that I'm very uncomfortable with. The whole church is now suddenly awash with word of faith and prosperity theology. It is also a rather strong advocate of tithing. The congregation was publicly rebuked for a fall in tithes & offerings. I was appalled at this but having come from a legalistic church before this was easy to deal with.

I have been approached to teach bible classes following a book called the principles of church life. I don't agree with tithing but give as the lord leads and this manual encourages it. What do you think is the best course of action?

-Searching in Springvale

Dear Searching,

I've found that a 24 pack of toilet paper spread out over your pastor's front yard sends a very clear message that you don't agree with how things are being run. And if you really want to drive your point home try building an altar in his yard to burn 10% of the rolls on.

When he sees that you understand the "tithe" principle I'm sure he'll be happy to sit down and work things out (it may be in the public courthouse where he is seeking a restraining order, but at least you'll get some face to face time).

In the end remember this important rule:

 When wedgies won't work, try TP.

There you have it, my first advice column. It feels good but I can't help but wonder if we should just leave it up to the experts???When I say experts, I of course mean the other readers.

Does anyone else care to give it a try?

 While digging around the internet this morning I found this article about Judah Smith. The article is about 1 year old but that doesn't make it any less interesting:

Here's the best quote:

"Camp totally changed my life," said Imani Lawson, 20. "Before it, I was like, 'Why am I going to camp? I'm a pre-med and Spanish major and my grades suck.' But I asked God about it and God totally spoke to me about my grades. He said, 'Just keep going to church, I'll take care of that.' " And he has, Lawson said. "School became so easy, I'm like, 'Wow, God.' "

Yes, Imani, why bother to face the realities of life when you can just go to camp and "give it all to God". Hey, maybe if God doesn't come through and fix your grades maybe you could have Judah make a phone call to your professor?

Imani, you are 20 years old, why are you still going to summer camp? Of course I should note that Judah Smith also promised this:

"If you go to camp and your life is not changed I will pay, personally, your way,".

Of course your life is going to change…

A few weeks earlier he had urged them to attend his three-day Bible camp, even if they didn't have the necessary $200, even it meant quitting jobs they'd worked all four years of college to attain. Rise from your seats, he urged the young people, and walk down to the stage to say you will go to camp.

…you just lost your damn job… and flunked out of school… but you still got your $200 bucks back.

The article ends with this quote:

"Go for it," he said, "and may the mojo be with you."

I think mojo is what makes you have great sex.

 Here is a website Catalyst found on tithing: http://www.bible-truths.com/tithing.html

I haven't read it all, but here are 7 interesting points I found:

SOME SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT THE CHRISTIAN TITHING DOCTRINE

1. Abraham never tithed on his own personal property or livestock.
    
2. Jacob wouldn't tithe until God blessed him first.
    
3. Only Levite priests could collect tithes, and there are no Levite priests today.
    
4. Only food products from the land were tithable.
    
5. Money was never a titheable commodity.
    
6. Christian converts were never asked to tithe anything to the Church.
    
7. Tithing in the Church first appears centuries after completion of the Bible.

I know we've covered this a lot, but I feel it's important to cover, so here we go again.

A message to tithers*:

Your money is your money and you are welcome to do whatever you want with it. Giving away your money is a wonderful thing to do and if God doesn't bless you I'm sure KARMA will.

However, before you start blindly following a teaching that has crept its way into church over the past few hundred years, please do the following:

1. READ THE BIBLE FOR YOURSELF AND SEE WHAT IT ACTUALLY SAYS

Don't just read the "recommended scriptures" put out in your churches yearly prospectus, research all the scriptures on giving and read the verses before and after and try to find the true meaning.

1. ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS

Does your church give 10% of its income, right off the top?  

Does your church follow the same principles that they teach?

What is your church doing with the money they receive?

1. YOU MAY HAVE A PROBLEM IF…

Your church spends more time teaching on giving them money than anything else…

Your pastors give you a book on submitting to authority when you question their decisions…

In conclusion, don't be afraid to search the truth. If, after researching it for yourself, you find that your church's teaching lines up with what you found in the Bible then carry on, however if you think there is a problem…well, that's what we're here for.

*Here at City Business we are strong believers in GIVING just not in the GOD MANDATED 10% OF YOUR INCOME OR ELSE kind of way.

 I look kindly upon our little mob. We're a strange bunch, spread far across the country each with a slightly different story yet all with one common desire: _______________.

Ok, so we don't have one common desire, but we all love humor, sarcasm, and standing up for TRUTH. This is where it get's interesting. Over the last couple of years, this blog has seen many different arguments take place. More often then not, two apposing sides (Business vs Bible*) run around in circles, beating, bashing, and berating each other until one side decides to grow up and move on. The one common theme that I've found is in this: Both sides often use the same arguments, scriptures, and thoughts to defend themselves.

Example: CM (Church Member) tells MB (Mob Blog) to take the spec out of their own eye before tearing down a church leader. MB then tells CM to take the spec out of their eye before tearing down a blog leader. It can continue like this forever.

Another: Mob Blog feels justified in calling Doug Lasit a "brown nosed reindeer" because they're standing up for "truth" (the brown nose not the reindeer part), but then CM feels justified in calling MB a "jerk" (this is why we always win the arguments, we're much more creative) because they are also standing up for "truth". But both are name calling and are "in danger of the fires of hell".

This of course is followed up by both groups telling themselves how great they are for "taking a stand".  Why does anyone still read this blog????

So who's right? Who has the answer? Mob Blogging is quite popular, but then again so is attending church.

Mobs lead, Members Follow.

Members build up, Mobs tear down.

Mobs openly speak their mind, Members talk behind each others backs.

Members treat there pastors with complete respect, Mobs treat everyone with disrespect.

In the end, it's all just one giant mess which leads to the real purpose of this blog:

Laughter.

As the great David Brent once said "I'm here to do a job, if I make people laugh along the way…sue me."