We have quite a few Preacher's Kids who comment on the blog. Here is one PK's testimony regarding growing up in the church and how it influenced her faith. I noticed several similarities between the commenters and this testimony:
As a child, I sat with my mother and two brothers in the very last pew every Sunday. We were PKs, or preacher's kids, and church was not optional unless we were on our deathbeds. She did her best to keep us restrained throughout the service.
My father's watchful eye as a Lutheran pastor came from the pulpit. He couldn't see everything, but I was certain God would tell him what we were doing anyway. In my young mind, my father and God were inextricably intertwined. I remember watching him prepare Sunday mornings, starching his white collar, playing the harmonica to loosen up his voice, rubbing a tiny Kiwi polish tin to vigorously shine his black shoes. The last thing he did was hang a large silver cross around his neck. I thought that cross gave him special superpowers and I was afraid of him in that way.
Being a PK added another level of parental conflict and of pressure to conform. The same person who reprimanded me for an unmade bed was also my spiritual leader. Confusing his criticism with God's disapproval, I couldn't separate my father's and God's expectations.
In that sense, my faith was never my own and as I grew to adulthood, I followed a rebellious path, finding independence from my family and from God. When I came back to the church in my 30's, it took every effort I had to squelch the all-knowing voice of my father inside my head, running through the "approved" church checklist.
One Christmas, I visited my parents in the Midwest and shared my enthusiasm about my new church. I had joined the choir and made new friends. When I returned to D.C., my pastor spoke to me after the service, noting that he had received a letter from my father regarding my attendance. Exasperated, I blurted out, "That man drives me to drink!"
The long arm of my father had reached out over 1,000 miles to intrude on my faith, something I had worked hard to claim for myself. But he was happy that I had finally embraced something he had loved all of his life. And I understood that for him, my embrace of my faith was much more about my acceptance of my father than it was about his approval of me as his daughter.
Interesting. I grew up a PK too, but mainly outside the CBC camp. We were involved in another big church organization similar to Bible Temple. I’ve said this many times on the blog, but it really has a lot to do with the parents. Mine are pretty laid back and I cannot recall ever being forced to go to church, but maybe that was because I always wanted to go? I’m not sure. I just cannot imagine my parents ever pushing us to do something just because they were the pastors. I can say that our lives revolved around everything church (private school, youth group, church services, etc) from the time I was born until I was about 16/17 years old. I think I was too much of a people-pleaser when I was younger (Maybe as a result of being a PK?); now looking back I get frustrated at some parts of it just because I think some things that took place were very damaging to us as a family. We went through a big church split that greatly affected all of us where we lost a lot of our friends for stupid reasons. It was really a bunch of BS – “church people” can be so ugly towards each other! It was hard to watch the strain on my parents as well, as a PK you end up probably knowing too much at such a young age. It can be a lot to process, and some of that stull haunts me to this day.
Now, as an adult I find myself pushing further and further away from being an active member of church period. I don’t disagree with church or even the way I was raised, but it’s not necessarily what I want for my own life. Church yes, but not having my life centered around it. It’s difficult for me to find the balance between avoiding church altogether and being heavily involved. When I first came to CBC I felt like certain people pushed me into being in leadership just because of where I came from when really I just wanted to be treated like a normal person! On top of that, I wasn’t necessarily a good candidate as I had my own issues I was dealing with. When I was at my worst, practically going to church and then sinning right afterwards, I had a church leader pushing me to preach and prophecy, etc. I just felt like it made it easy to live one way and talk another. I found myself justifying sin like, “I’m doing so well in all these other areas, this one thing is just my weakness – God will understand that”. Yes, God might understand and love me in spite of my sin, but that doesn’t mean it’s alright to stay in that place.
I guess overall being a PK wasn’t too bad, but if my parents hadn’t been so cool it would be a different story. My problem was more about other people and how they assumed we would be. I love my family, but when I go to other churches and people find out I’m my parents’ daughter they seem to treat me different even to this day. It’s a little annoying! And, I cannot deny the fact that my dad is way over-interested in whether or not my husband and I are going to church, where we’re going, what is being taught, etc. That’s okay with me, though, it’s cool that he cares and he’s never pushy about it, just interested.
Who else is a PK?
Hear, hear.
I am a PK.
I always wished I was a PK. (I felt they got special treatment). Does that count?
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Trust me, that’s not what you want. It’s not “special treatment”, more like “special requirements”.
Hey…it sounded good at the time! Oh, well…
The minister’s youngest kid and I were in the same graduation class and was a good friend. Her brother was a year ahead of me. What I remember of them in the church, is that look of resignation on their faces – kind of like a wet cat – every time they were put upon to usher, read scripture, sing.
I wonder if there’s a 12-step program for PK’s?
Hello. My name is Locutus and I’m a PK.
What is your real name?
1 We admitted we were powerless over the pulpit–that our lives were lived in a fishbowl.
2 Came to believe that only by leaving home could we be restored to sanity.
3 Made a decision to live like pagans to make up for a childhood lost living like a nun.
4 Made a searching and fearless inventory of the liquor cabinet.
5 Admitted to God, to ourselves and on our blog the exact nature of our parent’s wrongs.
6 Were entirely ready to have God remove our parent’s character defects.
7 Humbly asked Him to give us different parents.
8 Made a list of all persons they had harmed, and avoided them.
9 Made amends to ourselves wherever possible, and sent the bill to our parents.
10 Continued to take liquor cabinet inventory and when empty promptly restocked it.
11 Sought through counseling to learn separation of our parents from God, and through allowing ourselves to have fun, to know the true nature of our child-loving heavenly Father.
12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to pastor’s kids everywhere, and to help them escape.
Number 8 should be:
8 Made a list of all members in our parent’s church, and avoided them.
I’m the only girl child of a Southern Baptist Minister. Somehow I ended up a ballet dancer. I’m 30 and I still got a Josh McDowell book for Christmas. Thanks, dad…really.
And someone mentioned that ‘That man lead him to drink!’ I second the amen on that one. My husband always has to drive becuase I can’t even attempt a meeting with my parents unless I have two glasses of wine in me.
Love your post escaping in seattle. You ROCK!
They should make a PKA group. That stands for Pastor’s Kid’s Anonymous.
“Hi, my name is Zachariah Benjamin Elijah Doe and I’m a Preacher’s Kid.”
(Everybody) “Hi, Zachariah.”
Great idea, right?
Maybe I was too subtle for you BTB?
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That you Fanny, love ya!
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Probably threw BT off man – there is NOTHING subtle about the Borg!
Hey, Locutus? Sorry! Dumb blonde moment!
No…i don’t think I would fit into the PKA club, even though my first 7 names are Hebrew and my parents keep a wad of tracks in their back pockets. I’d feel out of place because I don’t have an uncle, school principal, or church elder that touched my no-no special spot.
No, you probably do plenty of that for yourself.
Tracks in the back pocket…I’d almost forgotten about those. Does anyone know if there’s an online resourse with the worst of them? Like the ones that tell you why the Catholic Mass is Satanic? No one believes me when I tell them about them.
I don’t believe you, Seattle.
Hey – I googled, and got a couple interesting hits that might help your search.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick_Publications
The Wikipedia site above mentions a tract called “The Death Cookie” which portrays the Roman Catholic Mass as a trick by Satan to lure religious people. Is this the tract?
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0074/0074_01.asp
Thank You! another oldie but goodie…
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1000/1000_01.asp
And my parents wondered why I had issues with the youth group leader giving us those things.
B.T. sold every single Chick tract there was at their bookstore. I remember I went and bought all of them when I was around 10. I thought it was so cool to see how many ways a person can die.
They had plane crashes, train wrecks, overdoses, beatings, battles, suicide…the list goes on.
Boy, I miss those psycho B.T. days…
Mebbe you and Seattle ought to make your own tracts, BT! You have a flare for the dramatic and humorous, and Seattle is longing for nostalgia!
Whatever you come up with has to be better than this ‘Bill Cosby-ized’ tract:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1101/1101_01.asp
That is a great idea! I’ll make everyone in my tracts die too and face eternity, just in better ways. They will choke on bacon, get run over by a circus elephant, get food poisoning by poking themselves with a crab leg, get bit by a monkey with rabies, strave to death because they paid tithes, get stomped on during a mob rush for a Judah Smith rally, and much more. Thanks for the idea!
I’ll call them Blonde Chick Publications…
I like …
The tract opens with:
BTBeauty, that Blathering Blonde Blogger is seated at her makeup mirror, applying mascara with a bottle brush, when her cell phone rings with that Cyndi Lauper favorite ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ ring tone. In her rush to pick up the phone, BTBeauty forgets to lay down her brush, and plunges it 4″ into her inner ear, skewering her brain, and painting her ear canal a lovely shade of dark mocha. Before she can say “hello” to her caller, she convulses and dies, and finds herself facing Jesus in judgment.
Jesus: BTBeauty. This is your life. With most people, I like to start at the top. With you, I want to start at the bottom. Does your butt still say “Princess”?
BTBeauty: Yes Lord, those nasty BT hooligans used an indellible ‘Rub-a-Dub’ marker.
Jesus: Hmmm …. I see that it’s faded a little, and sagged a lot over the years. Kinda looks like ‘Press’ now …
BTBeauty: I see that the ‘Judgment’ is a time of brutal honesty, Lord.
Jesus: ‘Fraid so sister’
…
Maybe that’ll help get you started, BT.
I LOVE IT!
(Only, my ringtone is True Colors by Cyndi Lauper).
Would there now be a track that condemns for people voting Democrat?
Or maybe you go to hell if you failed to put a Fish-eating-Darwin decal on your car…hmmmm
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Why am I not surprised?
You strike me as market savvy, BT. So I don’t have to tell you that one tract can be changed slightly to fit a number of demographics. Potentially using the same plot-line, sharing some graphics and text. It’s win-win all the way!
For example, your tract appeals to the Valley Girl crowd (That is the So. Cal. crowd, not the Willamette Valley – they will require a complete tract re-write using only mono-syllable words.)
With minor alteration, your tract would appeal to the ‘yuppie’ crowd – say for example, EscapingInSeattle buys it at the hands of a disgruntled Starbucks employee, when she fails to leave a tip after he fills her order for a double-shot non-fat vanilla latte. EIS can still taste the froth and fresh ground cinammon when she finds herself facing Jesus in Judgment.
Jesus: “So you moved 2700 miles from Atlanta to Seattle to escape your dad who is a Southern Baptist minister?”
EIS: “Hell Yeah, Lord! But that’s not as far as you moved away from your Dad”.
Jesus: “That’s not the same thing and you know it. Haven’t you ever heard the command ‘honor your father and mother’”?
EIS: “Haven’t you heard the command ‘provoke NOT your childen unto wrath …. Grrrrr!?!”
Jesus: “Um – good point – you get a pass on that one …”
………
And certainly you want to appeal to the professional crowd. To reach them, you could have PDXRN buy it from a blood-pressure cuff that backfires through her stethoscope. Before she can say “190 over 130″, she finds herself facing Jesus in judgment.
Jesus: You are held accountable for every idle word, you know.
PDXRN: Yes, Lord.
Jesus: So what is “meterosexual” mean, anyway?
PDXRN: Sorry, Lord, I had a ‘Dubya’ moment there.
Jesus: ‘Dubya’? You don’t like my man, Dubya?
PDXRN: I’ve met smarter stool-samples, Lord.
Jesus: True. I’ll let that slide.
…
See how easy it is BT to make one basic tract reach a great number of hell-bound sinners?