Dear Morton
Posted on August 23rd, 2006 by Reformed Pope into the Comments From Others categoryWe recently received this comment from one of our UK readers. He seems troubled. We've been wanting to add a "Dear Morton" section to our blog, but had decided that advice might not really be our strong point. Anyway, let's give it a try:
Dear Morton,
I stumbled upon your blog whilst surfing the net. I live in the UK and attend one of CBC's affiliates here, pastored by Rick and Merilee Johnston who are in essence very nice people. However, there is this drive towards a £6million building project that I'm very uncomfortable with. The whole church is now suddenly awash with word of faith and prosperity theology. It is also a rather strong advocate of tithing. The congregation was publicly rebuked for a fall in tithes & offerings. I was appalled at this but having come from a legalistic church before this was easy to deal with.
I have been approached to teach bible classes following a book called the principles of church life. I don't agree with tithing but give as the lord leads and this manual encourages it. What do you think is the best course of action?
-Searching in Springvale
Dear Searching,
I've found that a 24 pack of toilet paper spread out over your pastor's front yard sends a very clear message that you don't agree with how things are being run. And if you really want to drive your point home try building an altar in his yard to burn 10% of the rolls on.
When he sees that you understand the "tithe" principle I'm sure he'll be happy to sit down and work things out (it may be in the public courthouse where he is seeking a restraining order, but at least you'll get some face to face time).
In the end remember this important rule:
When wedgies won't work, try TP.
There you have it, my first advice column. It feels good but I can't help but wonder if we should just leave it up to the experts???When I say experts, I of course mean the other readers.
Does anyone else care to give it a try?
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August 23rd, 2006 at 7:08 pm
I gather this means you thought to yourself “bugger off”?
If you opt for the TP suggestion, please get your paper from the pastor’s study water closet. If you are paying the tithe, he can surely afford to spot you a few dozen rolls. And if he doesn’t check the stock before he plops, you’ll make your point twice over. Do please leave him a copy of his tithe sermon near the crapper, so he has something to do the ‘paper work’ with.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Dear Searching,
Isn’t 6 million pounds something like 9 million US dollars? According to this article on the Johnstons (http://www.mfi-online.org/pages/mr/member_of_month.php) your church has 350 members. Just how much church (building) does your congregation need? Or is it being built to meet the “vision” (Build it and they will come)? You have good reason to be concerned, the question is: are you free to state your concern and if not, what are you doing there?
August 24th, 2006 at 5:40 am
Do what the military does to make a statement…play really loud music 24 hrs a day outside the church. I suggest this song by my good friend Twisted Sister:
Oh We’re Not Gonna Take It
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
oh We’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
we’ve Got The Right To Choose And
there Ain’t No Way We’ll Lose It
this Is Our Life, This Is Our Song
we’ll Fight The Powers That Be Just
don’t Pick Our Destiny ’cause
you Don’t Know Us, You Don’t Belong
oh We’re Not Gonna Take It
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
oh We’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
oh You’re So Condescending
your Gall Is Never Ending
we Don’t Want Nothin’, Not A Thing From You
your Life Is Trite And Jaded
boring And Confiscated
if That’s Your Best, Your Best Won’t Do
oh…………………
oh…………………
we’re Right/yeah
we’re Free/yeah
we’ll Fight/yeah
you’ll See/yeah
oh We’re Not Gonna Take It
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
oh We’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
oh We’re Not Gonna Take It
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
oh We’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
no Way!
oh…………………
oh…………………
we’re Right/yeah
we’re Free/yeah
we’ll Fight/yeah
you’ll See/yeah
we’re Not Gonna Take It
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
we’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
we’re Not Gonna Take It, No!
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
we’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
just You Try And Make Us
we’re Not Gonna Take It
come On
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
you’re All Worthless And Weak
we’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
now Drop And Give Me Twenty
we’re Not Gonna Take It
oh Crinch Pin
no, We Ain’t Gonna Take It
oh You And Your Tithes
we’re Not Gonna Take It Anymore
August 27th, 2006 at 5:50 am
“the question is: are you free to state your concern and if not, what are you doing there? ”
I am free to state my concerns but unsure of what the reaction would be. As for being there-I stongly believe the Lord led me there when I left my other fellowsip/cult. As I mentioned in my post the whole church dynamics is changing and I feel disturbed in spirit. The whole WoF and “positive confession” thing just doesn’t wash with me and it seems to be invading the church with the “watchmen” asleep.
By the way is anybody familiar with the Principles of Church Life and Timothy Training manuals? I’d like to read some (serious) comments on them.
August 27th, 2006 at 9:58 am
jonah (not smith)…your math is just a bit off, 6 million pounds is about 11.1 million dollars. With 350 members that’s only $31,714 per member. That sure beats the $3000 per person commnittment asked of us BT members for the move up on the hill in the early 80’s.
August 27th, 2006 at 10:32 am
I remember that commitment my parents were asked to make. My mom went to Pastor Iverson directly and told him there was no way we could do it. He seemed understanding (after all, his daughter was my babysitter and we were very close to them) but I remember my mom feeling so bad for not “doing her part” and being wealthy.
She wanted so badly to be a part of them, but to be a part of them was to have money and give it and she couldn’t live up to that. So we left town.
Here is what I say:
Those who have money love only others the same,
And give the rest of us Christians a really bad name.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:32 am
Uh, you noticed, so I don’t think you can say the “watchmen” are asleep.
That doesn’t sound “free”.
If you don’t say something now, it’s only going to get worse. Have a private meeting with them. Be very polite. State your concerns and listen to their explanation. If you don’t do anything, I think you’ll regret it.
August 28th, 2006 at 8:53 am
And have your next church picked out before the meeting.
August 28th, 2006 at 6:39 pm
And make sure that church has no connection in any way to CBC or to the current church or your bad name will follow you everywhere.