Frank the Farmer
Posted on October 13th, 2006 by Reformed Pope into the Pastor Hank categoryIt's Faith Harvest time again, and while there are many good places to go sow your seed there is one place where the blessings really flow. Lets take a look:
Each and every year one farmer stands out from the rest. What makes his crop so special? Well, while some are busy with Wheat and others with Fruits and Vegetables Frank the Farmer goes and reaps the rewards from the Money Tree. Without fail his crop always produces great amounts of wealth, but don't be fooled… not just anyone can handle the money tree.
While it may seem to be a simple formula to you (take over large church, focus on giving, reap large rewards), preparing for the Faith Harvest is, in reality, a very large task.
First, you must plant the seed. This is not done quickly, oh no. When Farmer Frank bought his share of the CBC farm he spent the first 12 weeks planting the giving seed. 12 weeks. Many would give up on this saying "It's just not Biblical" but not Frank. Carefully he worked the soil with the same tedious message, give…give…give, but he didn't stop there.
After the first season he set out to find the perfect plant to help build his farming empire. This was not an easy process. Every single day he went and worked the ground with Submission to Authority, Spiritual Covering, and other such seeds until one day he came up with the perfect hybrid crop. By carefully mixing Greed, Envy, and Pride with a touch of Biblical Misinterpretation he created the ultimate money tree: Faith Harvest. And now the time is upon us.
So get out your rake, your shovel, and your wallet and lets all head down to the CBC farm for a good old fashion Faith Harvest. Be prepared to invest time, it takes 3 months of every year just planting the seed (3 full years when the moon falls on Forward Together), but the reward is always worth it. 3, 4, even 10 times the amount sowed will be returned to you when the time is right.
I have faith for the harvest, do you?
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October 13th, 2006 at 11:53 am
I suppose Frank considers the “City Business Church” blog the ‘tares’ that have been planted in his field?
You tares (terrors) you!
Funny to think of the harvest metaphor though - out my office window, just 1 house between me and several hundred acres of soy. The farmer has been harvesting for 2 days now. What does a city-slicker like Frank know about farming, anyway? Thumping the ‘harvest’ message in urban Portland seems a bit contrived, doesn’t it?
The last church I attended here has a fall harvest festival - they break out the banners with images of cornucopias and veggies - funny - with as many hog and soy farmers here, those are rarely mentioned. Just the corn. I guess corn has a better image - you know, the pilgrims and thanksgiving and all that. Anyhow - they put on a big shindig Sunday night, bring in some local Christian musician for a concert, a potluck, and then pass the plate, wherein the farmers are expected to give of their portion of the harvest - presumably a tithe.
And you know, I never once heard the pastor, in calling for a tithe from the farmers harvest, recite this scripture:
2 Timothy 2:6 GNB The farmer who has done the hard work should have the first share of the harvest.
October 13th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
I don’t know much about farming either, but doesn’t most everything get a bigger/better crop the more MANURE you mix in with it!? Hmmm.
October 13th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Did you say MANURE? I think that calls for a song.
October 14th, 2006 at 6:01 am
How funny. My acre was a weed patch until I started tilling in horse poop, and LOTS of it. After 10 years of poop it is a pristine perenial paradise. Guess poop really does bring in a bountiful harvest.
October 14th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
I heard from someone recently who was a part of things in the early ‘ Frank days’ that when he was called on board he had to face a mountain of debt –inherited it. If that is so and someone knows the full story than reveal please –maybe that was when this all got started.
This leads to the next question what exactly happened in the building of the dome empire that led to this enormous debt??–heard it was many millions……
If this is error please step forward and provide the nuts and bolts of the story.
October 14th, 2006 at 12:46 pm
Many talk about the harvest. Who will reap from it is still the question.
October 14th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
This calls for a hoe down… (No, Betty Joe…get up off the floor! I meant the dance!)
Ladies and gents it’s right, you know…
Tithe your money, the blessings flow,
And you can’t go to heaven if you keep it you know,
So it’s tithe with the money and do-si-do,
And it won’t be the last time, don’t you know,
Give to God and the blessings flow.
Tithe your income and get yourself straight,
And there will be blessings eighty times eight,
And knock down Satan and pick up the offering plate,
And we’ll all join hands and get ourselves straight.
Pray for your pastor ‘round and ‘round,
And turn your whole world upside down.
And open that wallet like openin’ a gate,
And bless your pastor eighty times eight,
And hurry up people and don’t be late.
Give your money and give your stuff,
‘Cause now, you know, it’s never enough.
Right foot up and a left foot down,
And march that money from all over the town,
And bless your pastor all around.
Give, little gal and don’t you know,
Wait and see the blessings flow,
And bless your pastor and pray just so,
‘Cause you can’t get anywhere unless the blessings flow.
And pray and tithe, one and all,
And then just watch the blessings fall.
So give to God and let blessings flow,
Tithe with the money and do-si-do.
October 14th, 2006 at 9:48 pm
Lovely song there BT. The hallmark of a true MFI church: Offerings to a dancing tune and incessant prayer for the pastor. (or “heads are going to roll”–hmmm, who could have said THAT to their staff concerning prayer in a planning meeting one day? Heads are going to roll. Now, THAT endears you to your leader doesn’t it?) (it’s AMAZING how these memories keep floating to my surface—up and out, let’s just get them up and out—BREATHE—breathe—that’s it—you’re gonna b ok…wew, that was a big one…)
October 14th, 2006 at 10:29 pm
QUESTION: Who else is making millions on this subject? Who’s mug is plastered in advertisements throughout Charisma mag offering to come to YOUR church and is the new conference king speaker (who last I heard charges no less than $3000 to grace a church with his presence on a weekend so he can weave his new doctrine to the unassuming and naive through slick talk, cleancutness(note cute) and book selling)?
ANSWER: None other than johnbevere peddling his famous Undercover Book.
OPINION: THIS is the American Church’s new band-wagon rackateering deception. In the last days even the elect shall be deceived. Of course, they think it’s those who don’t believe in the undercover doctrine. We think it’s just another invention of hell to get inbetween man and God. It’s our century’s version of the priest as go-between and interpreter of scripture. It’s so sad and pathetic that much of the church today is clamoring toward celebrity and swallowing stupid stuff they say, without really checking it out first.
October 15th, 2006 at 7:51 pm
When this lie is revealed TCR than heads really are going to roll!
October 15th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Why do we take what is perfect and pure and then try to reinvent it with a whole new doctrine. Could it be there is something to hide about or from his previous employer so he had to create a don’t ask don’t tell story.
One of our previous pastors here told us much of the info was lifted from the Watchman Nee (sp) book but only the side that tells the sheep they must submit –the leaders part was completely left out of his book as far as responsiblity. Does this sound familiar?
Why didn’t everyone in Germany submit to Hitler –wouldn’t God deal with it in time ..if you survived the ‘lovely camp experience’ your leaders had chosen for you. Come on church please wake up to this off balance teaching for yourselves.
If you can’t get it in theory we can tell you what its like in practice! Amazon.com has some fantastic comments about his books from theologians who can explain better than me why they are in error and written totally out of context.
I just hope for you happy viewers you never have to experience this theocracy
for yourselves. Thats why we’re on here blogging.
October 19th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
sounds to me like the guy who came up with this idea has a careful mix of Greed, Envy, and Pride with a touch of Biblical Misinterpretation!!!!!!!!!! thats why he dosnt listen to the authority god has placed! pastor Frank is a servant of God and servants of God dont have thier eyes on money. if you examine frank’s life you will be able to see that he is a man of God who infact has his priorities straight and if you have a problem with that then thats your problem!!!!!
October 19th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
The guy who came up with what idea? Faith Harvest. That’s true.
I hope no one thought that Frank created the Harvest. No, he just reaps from it.
October 19th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
To the maker of this website.
I think its rather funny how as a webdesigner I realise that this website was carefully and frequently put together and managed. Something has driven you to mock city bible church, You should possibly consider going to college and maybe getting a job. Once you can measure up to the average person’s intelligence then I would encourage you to examine and look at yourself before looking at frank. You are a bitter person who has lots of problems and had no one else to take it out on. You are pathetic.
Good-day, You have far too much time on your hands.
October 19th, 2006 at 5:02 pm
To the maker[s] of this website:
Hi. Umm this whole website is a disgrace to the human race. I absolutely disagree with everything your saying about Frank D. and City Bible Church. You can go ahead and not let this msg be posted on the website but I will take a screen-shot of my comment and show everyone that you don’t like to be challenged by questions. I have met the youth pastor of City BIBLE Church and he is amazing.
Justice-
p.s. Let me guess…. One of the leaders challenged you on one of your major issues right?
October 19th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
Ha ha … did you use yer daddy’s compooter to post your similar / simultaneous messages? What a couple childish loozers you both are …
October 19th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
‘Scrupe - it’s past the kid’s bedtime now. They won’t be back online again until after school lets out tomorrow.
October 19th, 2006 at 10:25 pm
You guys must feel pretty cool. Cya you in hell.
October 20th, 2006 at 5:57 am
Go Home / Justice
I love you. Thanks for making me laugh so hard so early in the morning.
Uhm, you mean Doug right? You may have met him. Some of us here have lived with him.
Amazing…
October 20th, 2006 at 8:11 am
Go Home, Justice L and Justice all posted from the same IP address, so it looks like Unscrupulous Man was right - they were posting from daddy’s PC. We’re honored they could take time away from their MySpace page to post here.
Sam
October 20th, 2006 at 8:57 am
I think it’s funny a webdesigner doesn’t know how to mask his IP address…
October 20th, 2006 at 3:59 pm
to reformed pope:
no i was reffering to the idea that pastor frank has a careful mixture of “Greed, Envy, and Pride with a touch of Biblical Misinterpretation” the guy who came up with that stupidity has major pride porblems!!
October 20th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Oh, that would be me…
Thank you.
October 20th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
to WTFWJD:
if you have lived with pastor Doug and seen how amazing he really is than the only reason you wont acknowledge that hes amazing is because he challenged you and you got offended! am i right? go pout somewhere else please! (by the way the only reason he challenged you was for your own benefit, so you should have listened)
to everyone who looked up the IP address of: go home/justice/whoever-
the only thing thats funny here (other than the fact that most of you spend your lame lives talking about how much you hate the amazing city BIBLE church) is that you guys would take the time to look up go home and whoever’s IP address!!! seriously GET LIVES!!!!!! most of you people are probably adults. LAME
p.s. the only reason im wasting my time even looking at what you write is because its entertaining watching what the lamest people on earth do. (that goes out to all the people who dislike city bible church. to all the other people who replied who have got thier heads on straight: thanx for not being like the rest of those lamos)
so anyway, im not going to waste anymore time talking to you people
October 20th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
I guess that makes you more mature and noble than the rest of us. congratulations.
October 20th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Elana, i dont think you need to take such a serious approach, although i agree with you. i do think that city bible church is a great church. i am just stating my opinion and i hope not to offend anyone.
October 20th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
also, all the people here who hate city bible church arent idiots, although i strongly disagree with some of what they say.
October 20th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
$10.00 says Elana’s IP also matches Go Home, Justice L, and Justice. Unless he/she/it figured out how to work the computer at work too.
October 20th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
Nate’s IP matches Justice L, Go Home, and Justice too. The 4 stooges are posting through Telus, a Canadian ISP based in Burnaby, BC. Elana’s IP is different. Elana is posting through Shaw, based in Calgary, AB.
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they are all the same person, WTFWJD. We don’t attract much traffic from Canuckistan. Have hope - as soon as curling season cranks back up again, they’ll be gone. Eh?
Sam
October 20th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
Excellent. The delicious irony of a Canadian telling me to get a life is not wasted on me, eh?
(Apologies to a.j. and henri)
October 20th, 2006 at 8:04 pm
Add Janelle to the list of Canadian posters; from Shaw of Calgary, AB. First post same day as Justice, Justice L., Go Home, Nate and Elana.
Looks like we got ourselves a troll.
Best ignored.
Sam
October 20th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
“if you have lived with pastor Doug and seen how amazing he really is”
Hey, Elana…does his wife know?
October 20th, 2006 at 8:22 pm
GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEADS: NO ONE HERE HATES CITY BIBLE! We just like to see you people who love it pissed off. You’ve got to admit that’s pretty funny…
October 21st, 2006 at 6:57 am
I do. I hate all churches what look like lopsided breast-like domes.
Seriously, I do. Whenever I went there, I had trouble deciding between the “perky little side” or the “big bazzoom” side.
October 23rd, 2006 at 10:40 am
to B.T. Beauty:
if you dont really hate city bible then why do you bother blogging about them? like seriously, is getting people frustrated really that fun? and by the way your comment about “does his wife know” was perverted, im sickened out that someone who calls themselves a christian would even think that way.
also, to whoever wrote that thing about looking up everyones IP adresses was creepy. STALKER!!!!
October 23rd, 2006 at 10:45 am
by the way, i am not the same person as justice, nate, janelle and whoever, we are not interconnected. i heard about this website, thought it was hilarious and just had to come and see for myself, as the others did im sure. besides, do you really think that someone would actually own like 4 diferent computers and try to trick you by blogging from all 4? um…right
October 23rd, 2006 at 10:56 am
Elena said:
“why do you bother blogging about them? like seriously, is getting people frustrated really that fun?” BUT she also said “i heard about this website, thought it was hilarious “. That, to me, is being a hypocrite. Why are YOU blogging on this site?
Secondly, I definitely am a Christian. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect, just forgiven. So don’t judge me. If you think I’m wrong, pray for me. But everyone has a right to their own opinion.
October 23rd, 2006 at 11:22 am
The IP address for Elamo’s last several posts, traces to British Columbia Systems Corporation, of Victoria, BC … same general area as Nate, Janelle, Justice, Justice L., and Go Home posted from last week.
4 computers wouldn’t use 1 IP address, Elamo, and that was the case with Nate, Justice, Justice L., and Go Home.
Your posts also cite 3 different email addresses, Elamo, all Hotmail. Perhaps it is just a coincidence, but Nate, Janelle, Justice, Justice L., and Go Home, all of whom established accounts last Thu/Fri, did so from Hotmail accounts.
Behave like an adult, you’ll be treated like an adult. Behave like a troll …
October 23rd, 2006 at 1:05 pm
to B.T. Beauty:
what i meant is that i thought it was hilarious that people actually bog about how they hate CB and how they preach on tithing. and i wasnt judging YOU just what you said, it wasnt cool.
October 23rd, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Why are you looking at people IP adresses anyway?