Ultra-Mega Church
Posted on November 28th, 2006 by catalyst into the Biblical Parody category
My roomate just sent me the following fictional article about how ultra-mega churches operate.
Funny snip:
Grande Church stands out even further as the only ultra-mega church to include in their new worship center the "luxury boxes" that have become popular in national sports venues.
"We have several members of significant means," Reussi said. "You really have to in order to build a worship center like this. Our Dunamis Boxes thank and honor those who really made this worship center possible."
Read the whole thing. It's fantastic, and yet, sadly true.
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November 28th, 2006 at 7:39 am
Since they’re obviously copying the NFL, do they plan to add beer vending?
Imagine doing the WAVE for Jesus!
November 28th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
I always wondered why CBC doesn’t do this! The views from the 3rd-floor control booths are awesome. Plus, you can talk and eat snacks without anyone telling you to shut up.
Question: does anyone think that CBC made a mistake building those domes? It was a big fad in the ’90s (supposed to save money), but now nobody is making them anymore. If they were to start over, what kind of building should they build? Triple-decked auditorium with luxery boxes? Or how about a drive-in sanctuary, orginized by vehicle make and model (Lexus in front, Buicks in back). You could have ushers come by on roller skates with the tithing buckets. My favorite would be a downtown stadium with a retractable roof. You know, so the sounds of worship could freely echo out and keep people from thinking we were all about money or something.
December 1st, 2006 at 8:21 am
Izzit just me, or does the pastor in the cartoon look just a wee bit gay?
December 1st, 2006 at 9:06 am
Or fat? Or pompous with a puffed chest?
December 5th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Valet parking, with mandatory tipping donations, is undoubtably next…
December 6th, 2006 at 10:39 am
Valet parking was already instituted at the city church in kirkland- and for only $5 (given to pay the endentured servants…um i mean internship)