Blender: 1 Samaritan: 0
Posted on December 27th, 2006 by Samaritan into the Uncategorized categoryThis time of year we love to make soup for supper; tonight's menu was cream of acorn squash. While the flesh of 2 baked squash was turning in the blender with chicken broth and spices, I thickened milk, margarine and chicken broth over the stove. I glanced back at the blender just in time to see the glass pitcher begin to spin and unscrew from the base - like a barber shop pole gone berserk. In a dive that would have made a John Madden highlight film, I grabbed for the cavorting cylinder of cultivar mere milliseconds after it launched from the base and cartwheeled after contacting the whirling blades of the blender base, thereby turning the pitcher into a spinning shower of succulent slurry. Again I grabbed for the cartwheeling cannister but the splatter from lift-off covered my hands and I succeeded only in batting the pitcher back up in the air for another slathering of squash. Finally, the pitcher came to rest on the counter top, next to the blender base. Squash covered my hands, face, hair and clothing, the lazy susan, countertop, cupboard doors, drawers and floor. Clean up took 30 minutes.
Unlike Catalyst ( Dishwasher: 1 Catalyst: 0 ), I did not need stitches after cutting my hand on the spinning blades. 30 minutes later, we enjoyed a DiGiorno's pizza for supper.
Sam
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December 27th, 2006 at 7:53 pm
I blopped almost a quart of mustard today in similar circumstances.
Mustard colored kitchen cabinets look disgusting.
December 28th, 2006 at 6:26 am
It was not a good night, RH. I put an oven mit on one hand, then grabbed the hot pizza pan with the other.
The moral of the story is, do not operate kitchen equipment if you’ve been hitting the Nyquil.
Sam
December 28th, 2006 at 7:14 am
Hahaha… I think I read somewhere that more injuries take place in the kitchen than anywhere else. Think of how many dangerous products there are in the kitchen. Ridiculous. That’s why nothing beats a good night out at McDonalds.
December 28th, 2006 at 9:09 am
And, not that I’ve other done this (wink, wink) but NEVER put a lid over a pan full of hot oil on the stove. If you accidentally put a lid on the pan, do NOT take the lid off. If you do take the lid off, resulting in a huge pan full of fire, DO NOT drag it over to the sink and it with water. This will defiinitely result in a full-blown, major kitchen fire. And… if you do end up trying to put it out with water do NOT drop the red-hot lid on the linoleum flooring unless you want to burn a perfect circle in the middle of the kitchen. This is especially bad if you’re living in a rental!
At least, that’s what I’ve heard.
December 28th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Oh yeah, that romantic Christmas fire in your fireplace that you left burning because “Oh, it’ll be OKAY!” will leave a nice, quarter-sized burn mark in the middle of your new carpet.
December 28th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Or the Eggnog…
December 29th, 2006 at 7:05 am
I recall Catalyst trying to cook a couple of chicken pot pies without a baking sheet while in college. 30 minutes later the top crust was all that remained on the oven rack with pot pie filling covering the bottom of the oven!
December 29th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
That’s what you get for doing wimmins work. You need to bone up on your Man Laws, Sam.
‘Scrupe
December 29th, 2006 at 11:39 pm
Now this is just silly.
January 2nd, 2007 at 12:09 pm
Bloggy,
I went to send you an email and realized I had deleted your email address can you send it over to me again?