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It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16
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What I like about the Tithe

Posted on March 29th, 2007 by Samaritan into the Uncategorized category

1. It's easy to figure out. Just take your paycheck and move the decimal one place to the left.

2. No need to pray for an answer about how much to give or to whom.

3. Keeps the pastor off my butt.

4. I can glare at the guilty looking shmucks during stewardship sermons.

5. Monogrammed tithe envelopes.

6. Blowing off pan-handlers with a smug "I gave to my church"

7. Easy to figure out my charitable contributions for Schedule A.

8. An occasional nod or wink from the pastor during stewardship sermons.

9. Watching the ushers dive for my check when I drop it on the floor.

10. Woo Hoo! 90% left for me! ;)

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9 Comments To This Post

  1. An Unscrupulous Man said:    
    March 29th, 2007 at 7:36 pm

    Heh … I once moved the decimal one place to the right. Boy did that mother bounce. :lol:

    [ Quote this comment ]
  2. Henri said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:42 am

    Don’t forget #11, according to the “law” or sowing=reaping.

    11) The smug assurance that comes with knowing God now owes you a blessing!

    [ Quote this comment ]
  3. WTFWJD said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 7:45 am

    :-)! Love it!

    [ Quote this comment ]
  4. B.T. Beauty said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:28 am

    I found these at http://www.unitybluewater.com/gifts.html…how corny!

    Ten Good Reasons to Tithe:

    1. Tithing is a sure way to prosper.

    2. It establishes order in my finances and my life. I put GOD FIRST!

    3. Tithing creates a partnership for success with God.

    4. It eliminates rainy day experiences and brings me more sunny days.

    5. Tithing stretches my income.

    6. Tithing brings me peace of mind.

    7. As I tithe I invite God to provide, protect and prosper me.

    8. It builds thankfulness and expectancy of new blessings in my heart.

    9. It opens me to the Source that spiritually sustains and nourishes me.

    10. Tithing helps me bless others and expand God’s work.

    ****Your reasons are definitely better.****

    [ Quote this comment ]
  5. Tea-Totaling Monk said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 9:36 am

    Saying “tithe” is fun for someone with a lisp. Right, Frank?

    Hey! Do you suppose all this time Frank has been talking about “ties”? :shock:

    [ Quote this comment ]
  6. Wayne said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:02 am

    An Unscrupulous Man on March 29, 2007 at 7:36 pm said:

    Heh … I once moved the decimal one place to the right. Boy did that mother bounce. :lol:

    I once wrote a check for the amount of my need in response to the pre-offering sermonette and boy did THAT mother bounce!

    [ Quote this comment ]
  7. Wayne said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:06 am

    Dont forget #12.

    12) The smug assurance that comes with knowing the ushers save you a seat in the front 2 rows.

    [ Quote this comment ]
  8. B.T. Beauty said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:14 am

    No, #12 is more like this:

    12) The smug assurance that comes with knowing you helped pay for the front 2 rows. :)

    [ Quote this comment ]
  9. Insane Warbler said:    
    March 30th, 2007 at 10:16 am

    Now if those front 2 rows had drink holders and beverage service …

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