Following Christ exclusively can be a lonely proposition in terms of human fellowship. After years of going to church, listening to yet another sermon filled with churchy platitudes, anecdotes and not even a hint of solid spiritual food, but rather just another moral message of the week, reasonable persons find themselves asking "is this all there is" or perhaps relegating the faith to irrelevancy and putting in their church time out of habit or for appearance / conformity's sake.
I guess it's not quite so bad in a so-called "charismatic" church, but man it can be like going to a wake in a mainline, non-charismatic, traditional denomination church. Questions abound concerning various church traditions and practices, but there never seem to be any answers forthcoming, rather, honest and straight forward answers. Pastors can get really testy when a visitor asks "what the hell was THAT about?!?"
Sitting through a church service one time, the teenage liturgist (?) stepped onto the platform with a clear pitcher filled with water, poured it into a clear bowl on the altar, and said "these waters are symbolic of your baptism, please take a moment to remember your baptismal vows and keep them". Since that particular denomination practices infant baptism by sprinkling, I asked the pastor just what vows a month old infant took that they were supposed to remember and keep? The pastor launched into a foggy explanation of their baptism and confirmation process, which seemed to suggest that baptisms in that church took some 14-15 years to complete, that is IF the infant grew up to complete confirmation and joined the church, thus confirming their infant baptism. Stickler that I am, I asked where I could find scriptural support for the practice? Obviously perturbed with my line of questioning, the pastor terminated the conversation with "our members like it".
That was just one of a hundred traditions I observed that left my head spinning and asking God "where's the beef?!?" Finally, sitting through yet another dead religious service because I thought I had to ('forsake not the fellowship of the saints' and all that crap), the Spirit whispered a question to me: "My son, what do you see?" I replied "I see a pipe organ Lord" and He followed up with "that is correct, this church worships the pipe organ". The Lord's Q&A with me during worship services there lasted many months, each one opening my eyes just a little bit more, until finally I could no longer stand even a moment in such a religious service. How I prayed for release! "Please don't make me go there any more Lord", but there was no release, as my wife was still of the "go to church" mindset. So I labored to fix what I saw were the problems and errors to improve my situation, but there was NO effecting change. Fasting, prayer, intercession, warfare, prayer walking, anointing pillars, doors and pews with oil, absolutely NOTHING helped, in fact, it got worse for us there. It felt to me like the place was trying to expel us! Like forces were rising up to oppose us. Finally came the day that KK saw what I had been seeing and the Spirit directed us: "GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET IT FAIL". We left that place and never went back.
It's been 6 or 7 years now since I last attended a religious service in the IC, other than the obligatory appearance at mom-in-law's church when we visit family. Even that is like fingernails on a blackboard for me. Still, that's better than the family squabbles and hard feelings of stiffing mom's church service.
The deprogramming (pruning), trials (dunging), hostility of religious people, and teaching by the Holy Spirit has been a roller coaster of pain and joy in my own transition from religious slave to being a free son of God. What no one told me however, is that coming out (Revelation 18:4) is lonely and that submitting to the Lord's teaching will completely alter your perspective of life in Christ. Buildings, denominations, religious services, the covering of clergy, buying and selling of religious warez, ALL become irrelevant to Christ, because they all serve to obscure the view of Jesus and interfere with simple relationship with the Father in Christ. In time, a person simply learns that it is not "Jesus AND … ", it is simply "Jesus".
On the path of growth, there are really few mileposts by which to gage how far a pilgrim has come. Persons on the path simply know they have to press on - there is no option of going back to religious slavery once you've been called out and begin following Christ exclusively. Like Peter said "where else would we go, Lord? You alone have the words of life" … Once you've tasted the bread of life and tasted the living water, how can you go back to religious stew?
Well, the other day I saw a milepost … while channel-flipping, I stumbled onto the TBN channel and saw about 5 minutes of some program where several dozen people were sitting around a grand piano, on gold fabric wing-back chairs, with gilded coffee tables, flowers, banners and bows all about, listening to some elderly man who was a baritone singing an old hymn. As he sang, the hand not holding the microphone was lifted shoulder high, and the look on his face was enraptured. All the people listening to him were alternately looking heavenward, with hands raised, smiling ear to ear non stop (like their teeth were waxed), or occasionally singing a few words along with the man. When the song was over, the man hugged the host, cried, mouthed a few words about the lost or the 2nd coming (I don't recall), but the emotionalism was right on queue - he held it together for the song performance and then made an emotional plea when it was over.
And there I sat, feeling so completely disconnected from what I was seeing on the TV, like I was a visitor from another planet. For just a moment, I wondered if there was something wrong with me because I wasn't having a religious / spiritual experience even remotely similar to the people on the TV. Why wasn't I smiling ear to ear, hands raised, singing along with the man? Why wasn't I moved at all? And then I thought about it as a musician - you know - evaluating what I saw as a performer. It wasn't a particularly moving song or performance - frankly, I couldn't understand most of the lyrics - not only were they unintelligible, but they were churchy, and therefore no longer relevant to me. And then it occurred to me that I was watching a performance from NOT only the singer, but everyone who was listening to him - everyone whom the camera focused on was a performer - they were all putting on a "charismatic" show for the camera … While I do not doubt that the people on the program are believers, even spirit-filled, I can't relate to them because the practice of their faith has become a performance, AND the exercise of their faith requires a religious vehicle (a service, TV show, etc.) to carry it out.
Hebrews 11:9 "By faith, he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a land not his own, dwelling in tents, with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise."
After coming to the realization that following Christ has made me a foreigner here, I resumed channel flipping. Not sure, but I think I caught an episode of Celebrity Death Match. As a foreigner, it's all fiction, so may as well watch something funny.
Sam