What’s up with Youth Pastors?
Posted on July 25th, 2007 by catalyst into the Things Dougie wouldn't do categoryThe Slog has a list of youth pastors who were recently caught abusing kids. It's the type of list I suspect you'll find anytime you type the words "youth pastor" into Google News. Which is to say, it's sad, but probably par for the course.
The comments underneath the blog were both for and against youth pastors, and they were quite enlightening. (I should ad that they also drop the F-bomb more than a few times. )
Here are a few of the better comments:
It's not that all youth pastors are necessarily pedophiles, any more than all priests or all Boy Scout troop leaders are…it's more that those who have leanings in the pedophiliac direction will be drawn to vocations or avocations where they have access to children.
The real trick is to teach your kids to tell you when anyone, no matter how "trusted" a position they may be in, starts getting a little too touchy-feely or making the kid uncomfortable. If you, as a parent, tell little Madison to hush and not say such nasty things about Pastor Dan when she tries to tell you he makes her feel weird, then you just taught the kid to shut up and do what Pastor Dan wants.
Here's one from a former youth pastor:
I don't mean to be rude, but I was a youth pastor who didn't screw anybody or touch anyone. I met some cool kids who grew into cool adults who now eat the crappy food that my wife cooks for us when they're over for dinner.
To say all youth pastors are child molesters is the same as saying all gays get AIDS.
If you don't like church, fine. Don't go. I don't like Purr or Our Place. But I'm not going to bitch about it.
And here's one that should be a segment on This American Life.
I had sort of the opposite experience with a youth pastor, but he was still a total douchebag.
I was raised Unitarian, so my church was all about abortion rights and gay weddings and winter solstice services. This pastor (gay, in his early 30s) very clearly hated children/teens, but because most churches have the stupid idea that gays + kids = ARMAGEDDON, this guy was going to be the youth pastor to PROVE EVERYONE WRONG. He wanted parents to be angry and us junior high kids to be shocked when he fake-casually mentioned his boyfriend. Since it was a gay-friendly church in the first place, he didn't get the attention he was looking for.
At least it taught me that gay people can be bitter assholes just like anyone else.
My own experience with youth pastors is that most of them are well-intentioned. They're just not that bright.
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July 25th, 2007 at 6:52 am
The few youth pastors I encountered in large churches seemed to be sincere and well-intentioned. Oddly, the youth pastor I thought was the most sincere and I learned a lot from was at a shallow, suburban megachurch. Since he didn’t have to solicit funds from us, he just concentrated on the basics of the faith.
July 25th, 2007 at 7:45 am
Whoa, whoa.. this is a shocking development. You mean to tell me that the youth pastor or one of his comrades didn’t come up and badger the people in the youth group for their allowance or their hard earned money made at minimum wage for 15 minutes prior to speaking? How, pray tell me, did the church keep the lights on without the $150 bucks made off the youth group? Amazing. If this youth pastor truly had faith (read: aspirations to be rich) then he surely would’ve spent far less time on the basics of faith and far more time on the basics of Malachi 3:10.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:24 am
LOL! Actually, I think we did take offering a few times, but it wasn’t a regular thing and there was never a hard sell. I felt sorry for my mom who complained about the weekly three point sermons about tithing ten percent. More often, the youth group was soliciting funds from the adult church goers to fund a retreat or activity — not to mention the fees kids parents were required to provide to participate.
I will give money-centered churches credit for often generously funding their youth programs. After all, a full-time youth staff is not something many churches can afford. I could cynically dismiss such efforts as merely an effort to attract kids’ parents, but I have had positive experiences with most youth pastors I’ve encountered.
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I love the comment about the Unitarian church. I can’t imagine UUs being concerned about gay youth ministers, but I can imagine a bitter gay guy looking for a controversy.
I attended a UU few years ago during their annual youth Sunday in which the youth led the main service. Coincidentally that week, the county began issuing same-sex marriage licenses. Halfway through the service, I noticed the gay marriages had not been mentioned. I wondered if the gay marriage topic was too controversial for the youth to mention. However, at the end of the community sharing time, the kids gleefully announced that they had a huge number of wedding announcements. It was a very joyful and memorable moment — especially considering the youth I grew-up with would never openly praise anything remotely gay.
July 25th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
“especially considering the youth I grew-up with would never openly praise anything remotely gay.”
Silly me, thinking you grew up with Catalyst.
July 26th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
I quit going to church when I turned 17, but up til then we had one really awesome youth pastor and one who was secretly dating one of my 16-year-old friends. I don’t really have a point other than GROSS…
But nowadays it seems, being that churches are money-making corporations, that no matter what the youth pastors’ initial motivation and purity of heart, “youth pastor” is an entry level position and often times a dead end job. I assume most are seeking to move up in the business eventually and become disheartened and lose interest in the youth if they don’t.
July 28th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
Toxic Mommy,
Do you have sisters?
Only curious because I think I know you and I think that I spent a litte–just a little–bit of time with you and I remember you as hilarious and very nice and I liked you a lot. I don’t know that you would remember me but I definitely remember you (if you are who I am thinking you are). Now I am just rambling.
So back to the original question…sisters? Perhaps two younger sisters?
August 9th, 2007 at 12:37 am
yep. who are you?
August 9th, 2007 at 8:11 am
My name is Lindsey and I am barely younger than your youngest sister. I came to your parents house for one of K’s showers before she got married and I ended up staying the night and there were some girls from Seattle there and one of them had a “poop journal” and was regaling us with tales of how she and one of her friends take pics of their poo and write about them. I was disturbed.
Anyhow, I just remember spending some time with you here and there (like at that shower and also when you worked at cbc for a time) and I liked you a lot. K has been showing me pics of your daughter (I worked with her for a while) and all of your (the sisters) kids are so cute I almost can’t handle it. My favorite picture is the Christmas one with all of them and I think they are sitting in front of a tree? I loved it so much I actually printed it out and took it home with me. I think that makes me a little bit of a weirdo.
Anyway…hello!
August 9th, 2007 at 8:12 am
Oh yeah, I guessed who you are because I have seen you on the infamous MySpace