Faith Harvest Crashers
Posted on November 1st, 2007 by Reformed Pope into the Pastor Hank categoryIt's the most wonderful time of the year for us at City Business Church…recently Pastor Frank and I had this conversation:
Frank Damazio: John? I need to see you right away. It's important.
Reformed Pope: [Walking into Frank's office] What's going on?
Frank Damazio: [sighs] We got three big weeks ahead of us. It's Faith Harvest Season, kid!
Reformed Pope: You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!Reformed Pope: We are gonna have tons and tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous businessmen that get so aroused at the thought of Surplus that they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind.
Frank Damazio: And who will be there to catch them?
Reformed Pope: Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal! What do you like better, Christmas or Faith Harvest Season?
[RP raises his hand]
Frank Damazio: Mr. Pope?
Reformed Pope: Yes. The answer would be, um, Faith Harvest Season?
That's right people, it's Faith Harvest Season…grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly. Frank actually had a warm up sermon last week to get us prepped for Faith Harvest…but before we get to that…did anyone else read this from the Bulletin a couple of weeks ago?
Today's Thought
There was a great need. A starving crowd of humanity. Thousands of children, women, and men, had not eaten for days and now their stomachs were rumbling. There was a great problem. There was nowhere to buy food. No restaurants, no Red Robin, no Winco, and no money. To give each person even a crumb seemed impossible.
Jesus solved the problem, and He solved it with surplus. He took a little and made a lot. With 5 loaves and 2 fish given to Him by a child, Jesus fed the multitude. In fact, not only did He feed them but they were able to eat as much as they liked. But notice what happened when everyone had eaten. The disciples collected the left overs and it filled 12 baskets. All the doubters were now collecting left overs. The miracle was not in the feeding but the message was in the left overs. Left overs are a picture of surplus.
Jesus used this situation to not just feed their stomachs but to feed their minds. It was an object lesson that applies to our lives today. Whenever there is a lack, a need, a crisis, an impossible situation, when God intervenes it is not by the skin of His teeth. God doesnt hold His breath and hope that there is almost enough.
Rather, those 12 baskets are the surplus God has for us. Have a 12 basket mindset. When God meets a need it is always in abundance. It may not be food that we need, but for every need in our lives God is able to go beyond a mere covering of our lives that brings our account to neutral. God is able to bring profit, overflow, more than enough, 12 baskets full surplus to our lives.
I'm really really hoping that is a typo…it could be, there are a number of misspellings as well…but I can only take things as they are written, so…
The miracle was NOT in the feeding??? But the message was in the left overs??? Uh…right. I'm sure as Jesus is feeding the thousands and thousands of people they were all saying:
"Ok, sure he can feed us…5,000 or so…but the real test is if he can have any left over"
"I'll just bet that when the last one of us is fed, he runs out of food… some miracle"
"No Surplus, No miracle".
Give me a break. The miracle was in the feeding…the message was in the feeding…the left over "Surplus" is exactly that…left over extras.
Stop trying to force the scriptures to fit what your pastor wants…instead try standing up and saying, "You know Frank, Surplus isn't really a Bible word in the sense that you want it to be". In fact when I run a Bible Word search for "Surplus" in the NIV I come up with…no results…when I search in the New King James Version (CBC's standard reading as I recall) I come up with…"no results"…when I search in the NASB (my favorite version) I come up with…1 result…shall we read it?
The Widow's Mite
41(AH)And He sat down opposite (AI)the treasury, and began observing how the people were (AJ)putting money into the treasury; and many rich people were putting in large sums.
42A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent.
43Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, "Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury;
44for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had (AK)to live on."
That's right Frank, the one Surplus scripture that I found teaches the exact opposite of what you have been teaching. Please stop misleading your congregation and please start teaching the truth. Frank says "you can't give what you don't have" and I say "Erroneous".
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November 1st, 2007 at 8:54 am
The words that for some reason make me react like fingernails on a chalkboard? Fellowship, communication, and my #1: HARVEST!
November 1st, 2007 at 9:45 am
Nice intro! This is their busy season for sure. I like to think that PF giggled like a school girl when he realized he had tricked the entire congregation into believing a made up holiday that requires them to give more money. It ranks right up there with Coca Cola execs who probably danced around the room while burning $100 bills when they realized that people will buy tap water for $1.25 a bottle.
So the last 6 messages from PF have been prepping them for the Tithing Bowl. It’s now up to them to put on a big enough show (aka guilt trip) to justify the fact that preaching about money and prosperity is more important to them than, oh I don’t know, maybe preaching the Gospel?
We should start a pool on how many times Malachi 3 will be mentioned. I wonder how many paid guest speakers they will bring in to hype this up even more?
And those poor church employees who’ve had their pay and benefits slashed, will they be required to cough up more cash to keep their jobs?
November 1st, 2007 at 4:25 pm
That reminds me of a similar conversation I had with Pastor Frank. We were talking about who to bring in to guest speak. He said he really needed someone who could get the crowd revved up. That’s when he suggested Joel Osteen. I couldn’t believe it.
I told him “It’s the first quarter of the big game and you want to throw a Hail Mary. I’d like to get Cowboys from Arizona or Pimps from Oakland. Grow up! Peter Pan, Count Chocula!
November 2nd, 2007 at 1:11 am
I’d like to nail up a few thoughts on the ‘Harvest’ season. Before you give in todays offering, please consider;
Does your car need tires for the winter? Do you need heating oil? Is the roof leaking at your house? If so, please take care of your families needs FIRST! Read 1 Timothy5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Do you feel compelled to give $$ at a church meeting? The whole atmosphere is geared to get money from you. Have you seen the overhead projection saying, “As I give in todays offering”? Does an usher come up and hold a bucket in front of you? 2 Corinthians 9:7 says, ” Let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart: not grudgingly or UNDER COMPULSION.” You should decide what to give in privacy, not at the moment, under peer pressure. Do the people who are getting the offering already have more than you do? Jesus said our alms (giving to the poor) should be done in secret, and the Father who sees in secret will repay you. (Mt. 6:4) If you give in a public venue, where everyone can see what you have done, that is all the reward you’ll get. (Mt.6:2)
Did you get a Faith Harvest commitment card in the mail? Are you making a pledge? Please read Proverbs 17:18, “A man lacking in sense pledges and becomes surety in the presence of his neighbor.” Jesus said, “But I say to you, make no oath at all” (Mt. 5:34) Making a faith commitment for money to come to you that you do not have is not a good idea. James 4:13-14 says this, “Come now, you who say ‘Today of tomorrow we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’ Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.” You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:49 am
One more thought. There seems to be a mentality that if you give money to the church, God will be pleased, and you will succeed financially. In other words, you give money, and God will reward you.
Please read Acts 18:18-21! When a new convert thought he could buy God’s gifts with money, Peter rebuked him sharply, saying, “May your silver perish with you, BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD OBTAIN THE GIFT OF GOD WITH MONEY!” Peter follows that up by saying the persons heart was not right before God.
November 2nd, 2007 at 3:24 am
If CBC ever did score a Joel Osteen cameo appearance, I do think I’d be so impressed that I’d hop on the next plane right up there. All he’d have to do is flash those big pearly whites at me just one time.
Me: (glazed look) Excuse me, Mr. Usher. Can I get a copy of Bro. Osteen’s sermon notes?
Usher: There are no sermon notes, sir.
Me: (glazed look) Really?
Usher: That’s right, sir.
Me: (glazed look) And why is that?
Usher: Mr. Osteen doesn’t believe in sermon notes. Or the Bible. Or any of that heaven and hell stuff. Just the smile, sir.
Me: (looking back at Joel Osteen) Oh, OK…sounds reasonable…I just love his smile…(reaching for my wallet) Is $100 enough?
Usher: Not really, sir. Do you have any idea how much it costs to fly up here from Houston in a personal jet?…
Me: (glazed look) Uh…no…(handing him my wallet)…here, just take whatever you need.
Usher: …thank you, sir…(takes all my money)…not to mention the entourage?
Me: (glazed look) I’m sure it must be a lot. (looking back at Joel Osteen again) By the way, how does he get his teeth that white?
Usher: (taking my credit cards) Can’t tell you, sir.
Me: (glazed look) Why not?
(Usher walks away)
Me: (glazed look disappears) Hey!…wait…don’t leave yet…hey! when am I going to get my wallet back?! Stop! Thief!
Usher: (looking back, pointing to platform) Don’t forget to look, sir.
Me: But, when am I…
Usher: (calling back to me) In a couple of weeks, sir. (points to platform) Look, sir!
Me: (looking at platform, glazed look returns) Alright…but just a second…I gotta know….how does he do it?
Usher: (looking back) It’s classified, sir.
Me: (glazed look) Ohhh…
(slowly slumps down in pew and falls asleep)
-joebib
November 2nd, 2007 at 11:10 am
Don’t be too surprised when J.O. actually makes an appearance.
November 2nd, 2007 at 8:31 pm
O.K. get this…we have a church here on the Harbor that used to be an MFI church turned FCL church that turned KMI church (same as FCL church) that is now back to being an MFI church. They are blocks away from the new “City Harbor Church”. Yep well they are already doing the chanters thing that I have heard some of you mention that goes on at “City Business Church”. I talked to an inlaw of an attender and they are already practicing it.
Please consider prayers for the Harbor.
I am hungry for change…God help us.
November 3rd, 2007 at 2:49 am
It seems having the Bible easily available, online and/or electronically, cuts both ways. It quickly manifests those ministries who are following it, and teaching truth from it, as well as casts a light on those who aren’t.
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Good points, WhatHEsaid. I believe you meant to reference Acts 8:18-21.
-joebib
November 5th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Thanks Joebib for pointing out my fat fingering of the scripture addy.
I hope it isn’t some residual thing from going to PBC!
November 6th, 2007 at 3:52 am
Of course it is. I have the same malady.
-joebib
November 6th, 2007 at 9:06 am
WhatHEsaid said,
The key word there is mentality. How is it possible that such drivel is preached, and yet everybody seems to accept it like mindless zombies? It is a mentality — a mindset that the pastor is right, the leadership is anointed, and God not only approves of everything they do, He designed it as such.
You doubt me? Just start talking to one of the faithful. When you begin to question a policy, or suggest that something is not biblical, you will be met with glazed eyes and the usual phrases: “don’t touch God’s anointed” or “it’s His church…”
If you attempt to engage in conversation about these things, you will soon be met with a closed door. The person stops listening, and believes you are truly the devil’s advocate. Any word against the leaders or their preaching becomes persecution. sigh.
November 7th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Anna,
I’ve experienced the exact same mind set. Even long time employees of CBC seem to think it is some kind of pinnacle of faith, and it is ‘as good as it gets’. They also seem to think that some sort of ‘big breakthrough’ is always on the verge of happening. (like the NW Breakthrough conference.)
When one sees that over half of the 11 million dollars they collected went to salaries and benefits, it should be obvious to even the most lethargic imagination who is having the ‘Breakthrough’!