My Habit of “naming names” on this blog…
Posted on January 31st, 2008 by David Mackin into the Uncategorized, David Mackin Writes: category
I have decided to take a different approach on this blog when it comes to naming names. Up to this point, I felt that I needed to name names to give more credibility to the points that I was trying to make. I think that I, and possibly others, experienced a kind of therapy from knowing exactly about whom we were talking. In spite of this personal benefit, I have changed my mind on this issue. I will continue to critique any/all published materials like books, articles, Cds, tapes, Mp3s, sermons, etc., but I will try not to name names anymore. I now admit how this kind of practice can descend so quickly into a “he said/she said” kind of scenario or an unhealthy feeding frenzy of repressed feelings against certain people.
Here are my reasons:
1-When I name a name on this blog, the other person is not there to defend himself or herself or to give their side of the story; in that sense it is unfair for me to name names. Sure, we know that many “lurk” or have their staff members do the same, but most do not want to engage in trying to defend themselves personally in this kind of environment.
2-I have taken more to heart the Mt. 18 Protocol of Jesus which begins with: “When your brother sins against you, go to him in private…” I don’t know how I am going to honor these words of Jesus perfectly because I have literally boxes full of notes of wrongs and offenses against leaders, but I will be thinking and praying about how I can work this important exhortation more into my daily life. (I am open to any ideas along this line.)
3-Several years ago, I promised a couple of the pastors in the church system I like to criticize on this blog that when I wrote my book on spiritual abuse, that I would not mention any of their names. Even though this blog is not strictly a “book,” I feel that I may have been violating this promise in spirit.
4-My motive for naming names has been to confront a church system that I feel has gone wrong in many ways. I now feel that I can accomplish my main purpose without always doing this. My naming of names may have hurt some people’s reputations unnecessarily. (This last point brings up the whole idea of whether I owe any of those I publicly criticized an apology; I will wait on the Lord about that one.)
5-I have found that the Lord has sovereignly involved me in situations (even one right now for which I covet your prayers!) in which I confront pastors about their wrongdoings. Because of these types of sensitive scenarios, I think that I will feel better in my heart if I drop using names. (Honestly, I’m getting filled with so much ammo against pastor/leaders that I don’t want to get into the habit of it spilling out automatically all the time. I want to follow the approach that, as far as I can tell, therapists take when they publish a book using all of their clients’ examples – but with all the names changed.)
6-I personally know many pastor/leaders besides the ones “on the hill.” As I continue to share, I would like any readers to know that what I write is not necessarily going to be about the church “on the butte.”
In light of these reflections, I will be systematically going through all of my previous articles and striking out the names wherever possible. I felt to change the names in my Tacoma Dome story awhile back and now feel peace about changing the rest of them. Again, at least for right now, I feel that I can still accomplish my goal of exposing spiritual abuse in pastors and churches by keeping my focus on the general biblical principles involved instead of naming individuals.
If you disagree with my decision, I will understand. I ask, nevertheless, that you try to have patience with me as I continue to struggle with the many deep and personal issues involved with truth-telling on this blog; especially since, from the beginning, I have chosen to post in my own name.
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February 1st, 2008 at 7:57 am
Dave, why? Martin Luther was pretty specific with names. And please don’t forget that the leaders of CBC have no, or near no ethics whatsoever. I need to vouch for this fact. They have one loyalty, and that is to a spirit of greed. They love money and think about money and talk about money. To them, the very definition of ministry is to receive enormous amounts oAnyhow, I guess I should let the Holy Spirit guide you in your own convictions huh? I just wanted to get my two bits in and say that if you do name names please don’t feel bad about it. Also, I’m really looking forward to the book, please let us know when you have some excerpts ready.
Blessings
February 1st, 2008 at 8:13 am
I agree. And I just want to say I also never had a problem with “naming names”. But you gotta do what makes you feel comfortable.
(Obligatory Seinfeld reference: “Because he was betrayed by people he trusted. They ‘named names’!”)
February 1st, 2008 at 11:16 am
here’s an interesting story by a seminarian who’s doing research on spiritual abuse:
And here is a blog of a former church leader who got kicked out on the curb. go to her sidebar to access her 7 part series on spiritual abuse. She is a prolific and insightful writer who has chosen to write anonymously on the net and also not name names of her clb (church left behind) and their leaders.
Everybody has to follow their own conscience.
If no one ever named names than people who abuse authority would continue to be empowered by the secrecy.
February 1st, 2008 at 9:18 pm
pamhogeweide said: here’s an interesting story…
pamhogeweide, it sounds good but i missed the link or something…please help
sola fide said: Dave, why? Martin Luther was pretty specific with names.
sola, I don’t mean to be flippant, but I just gave you six reasons as to why. I have not studied how the reformers used names; i’m aware that they didn’t spare calling the pope the antichrist; it’s something that i feel to do right now in my life and i’m sure that it will put me in some frustrating moments; remember, i still have no qualms about critiquing their public statements; i have to follow my heart for this season…
Sola Fide said: I’m really looking forward to the book, please let us know when you have some excerpts ready.
Sola, thanks for your encouragement; i need it; the remodel on our home has slowed me down somewhat, but I am still making good progress; if it comes to mind, please pray that the Lord will show me how to edit down the massive amount of material he’s brought my way; i am really excited about how it is taking shape; thanks again…
February 1st, 2008 at 10:33 pm
David— I support you in your integrity.
Now this is not to say those who do name names DONT have integrity, but God has told David to change his ways and he is being obedient.
If any of the rest of us get that from God, then we too best be obedient. My take is that “naming names” comes down to an issue of being a revelation/warning/exposing versus revenge/nastiness. It is good for us all to examine our motives in everything that comes from our mouth as …
February 1st, 2008 at 11:12 pm
hey dave
the link worked for me when i linked it just now. hm……
try again HERE
February 2nd, 2008 at 9:29 am
pamhogeweide, thanks, I was able to get it this time! i don’t know what happened, i couldn’t find any link in your first post on this; but anyway, looks like good stuff.
February 3rd, 2008 at 10:21 am
David, I have one suggestion that I think would help move you on into more freedom. For your point number 2, “what to do with the boxes filled with notes of wrongs and offenses”, would you consider praying about burning them on the altar of forgiveness, letting them go, and focus on your wonderful gift of spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ to those who have ears and hearts to hear the message of the Love of Jesus? It is because I love you that I send you this suggestion.
February 4th, 2008 at 7:18 am
David,
You are NOT Martin Luther, nor is what you write on this blog noble. This move may ease your conscience some, but the fact is you are a minister who is tearing down ministry. I am NOT saying that everything that ministers do is right and certainly not that churches like CBC are always in the right. I have my own issues that I am working through in my heart with Frank and others, but they are MY issues and for me to work out with the Lord, not to air in front of everyone.
The fact is, I remember you and you are far from guiltless. In truth, it is God who judges, not you and if you can’t figure that out then you can be sure that you WILL be judged. He doesn’t appreciate people trying to take His job as judge. Instead of critisizing Frank and others you should try doing what our couragous brother Jeff Dahl did and repent of bitterness. Again not that you don’t have any justification for feeling burned, but I guarantee that no one who burned you is losing sleep over it, only you. Make relationship right with your brothers and God will take care of the rest.
As for me, I spent years as a church staff member being used, abused and neglected. If I posted a tenth of the things that I saw and experienced on here it would fuel people’s fire for years, but I have burried those things in the forgiveness of God and I am truely free. Stop and spend some time in the word and in prayer before the Lord and He will show you what you need to do.
February 4th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Recovering Charasmatic,
Just an fyi, but the next time you write a comment accusing someone of being bitter and judgemental, try to sound less bitter and judgemental in the comment. You really don’t sound like you’ve forgiven anyone.
The only people more bitter than us bloggers, are the people who get on here accusing us of bitterness.
I really don’t get it. There are a billion other blogs out there, you don’t have to read this one.
And what’s with the uptick in comments from former City Bible members? I’m beginning to think something big is happening with CBC. Perhaps they are going through even more financial trouble. (Getting on my knees, “Oh Lord, please let this be true!”)
February 4th, 2008 at 9:14 am
The only ‘big’ thing I’m aware of is an upcoming meeting in March outlining the changes in city christian school/hs due to CBC no longer offering ANY support financially to them. It doesn’t take a prophetic mantle to see a tuition increase coming!
Matthew 19:13-14, “Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Apparently they can’t spare any $$ for the children.
The kingdom is about buildings and property, that’s where the heart of CBC seems to be.
On the other hand, it is OK to charge the young $50+ to hear preaching and loud music at GU. But, hey, that is a life changing event!
February 4th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
CBC, we put the fund in fundamental.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:48 am
Recovering Charismatic: You are NOT Martin Luther, nor is what you write on this blog noble. This move may ease your conscience some, but the fact is you are a minister who is tearing down ministry, etc.
Recovering, I’m sorry that my posts have caused you so much turmoil. I would hope that you would see my latest post about no longer naming names as a step in the right direction. If I understand you correctly, however, you don’t see it that way at all. Instead, I get a spirit of general condemnation from you for me ever sharing any of my negative experiences with pastors and churches with others.
In my view, your intention may be pure but I dare say a bit naive. I hope to publish all of my experiences in a book someday showing how the Lord redeems those who have been used and abused. Do you really feel that is wrong since I won’t be naming names? As I appreciated so much in the book, The Wounded Healer, speaking from our point of pain and healing into others’ lives can be one of the most powerful ways of ministering to people.
As has been shared on this blog many times by others, the spirit of control in the Senior Pastor Cult is all about secrecy, cover-up and quashing all contrary ideas and using “the name of the Lord” and the Bible to do so. I don’t have the time to go into it all right now, but there is just as much in the Bible, if not more, about the necessity of confronting leaders as there is about respecting and obeying them. Look to all of the prophets in the OT, Jesus to the pharisees, Paul to the “super apostles” in 2 Corinthians, John to Diotrephes, etc. Yes, sometimes God judges sovereignly, but many other times he uses human beings to confront other human beings. Jesus said in Mt. 18:15ff, If your brother sin against you, go to him in private first. Paul said in Gal. 6:1-2, to go and recover a brother who has been caught in a fault. This is all about person to person confrontation - not waiting for the sky to fall on their heads!
Honestly, I don’t feel that I am bitter. If I ever feel convicted that I am, I will hope to confess it like Jeff Dahl. I have felt hurt and upset but hurt and upsettedness are not automatically bitterness. Please pray that if I have a blind spot here that God would reveal it to me.
When you said that those in leadership are not losing any sleep over me, I felt put down by you. Why would you say that to me - to try to hurt me back for all the bad things I’ve exposed? Even though I disagree with many things going on at the butte, I still care for everyone there. If I could share with you what I am doing right now in that regard, I think it would help you better to understand me, but I can’t since it’s confidential.
Grace and peace to your spirit.
—-
Tri4Christ said:…~ throw all of your cards away into the sea of forgiveness…
Tri4Christ, This advice sounds strangely familiar….If I understand you correctly, you are equating the presence of note cards that record negative aspects or experiences with leaders as a sign of bitterness and unforgiveness. What I hear you saying is that if I could throw all of those cards away, that I would be free at last from bitterness….
First of all, I don’t feel that the external act of throwing away a card would guarantee any freedom inside my heart, if indeed it needed to be set free. The pharisees tithed on the tiniest herbs in their garden - way beyond what the Law required - but Jesus still says that they were in love with money.
Second of all, I have been teased about my 3×5 files for years and years. I am in the process of going digital, but in the mean time, this is simply how researchers and writers record information for their publications the old fashioned way.
Third, I am wondering why you are so upset about the keeping of such research records - maybe there are some truths hidden in my notes that you don’t want to face yourself. Just wondering…
February 5th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
David, you need to read my post again, I did not say ‘cards’, I said boxes of offenses and notes.” I think you are over reacting - that is why I dislike email and blog because you cannot hear the person’s intent, tone of voice or heart behind the text. I don’t know how you got that I was so upset…I am not upset at all. I actually thought you would say something like, “thanks for the input that I asked for, I will give it some thought and prayer”.
And, by the way, I don’t have a stitch of info you would publish about me that would worry me. You must think I am “one of them”. Far, Far from it. You come across to me very defensive on this issue. You asked for input. don’t you recall?
You said: “I don’t know how I am going to honor these words of Jesus perfectly because I have literally boxes full of notes of wrongs and offenses against leaders, but I will be thinking and praying about how I can work this important exhortation more into my daily life. (I am open to any ideas along this line.) ”
And that was my input. You don’t have to read into anything that was not there. And honestly, everytime you use “What I hear you saying…” or “thank you for being so open I really appreaciate it” statements with people on this blog (Counseling 101) , and then bash someone, it really takes away the feeling that you are honestly open.
Be careful how you come across, it can sound arrogant and condensending.
You know who I am I can’t believe that you would say these things to me. Argh!
February 5th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Tri4Christ, I apologize for misreading you and bashing you with my last statement. Your remarks reminded me of some made to me by another person and I think I read their feelings into your words. My mistake. I’m sorry.
I know who you are? I might be very tired tonight, but I don’t remember who you are at this moment. So, friend, I will try better next time. Thanks for sharing your feelings with me.
February 6th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
David, who ran some ‘triathlons’ this summer? Hee Hee.