This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Zetaman

Posted on March 10th, 2008 by catalyst into the About Us category

Zetaman is a real life super-hero living in Portland, Oregon. Like most superheroes, Zetman wanted to fight crime. But he found that "fighting crime" in Portland wasn't as easy as it looks.

Heroes in Florida and New York claim to have no trouble finding street crime, but Portland’s darkest alleys are a safety zone by comparison. Zetaman tried patrolling in the parks around Portland State University (don’t people get mugged in parks?). Still no dice.

His 70-plus nights on the street have led him to the conclusion that in Portland, the homeless are the real people in need. Now he wears a backpack stuffed with blankets, hats, gloves and socks to give away. He lugs bags of food and soda. One night last month he gave out five double cheeseburgers and five chicken sandwiches from McDonald’s, along with a 12-pack of Shasta cola.

So know, Zetaman uses his superpowers to help the homeless. But how did Zetaman get his start, you ask.

Zetaman’s origins date back to 2006, a time when he was going through a rough stretch in his personal life. Both he and his wife had temporarily lost their jobs, and at the same time they were hit with thousands of dollars in medical bills when his wife suffered a miscarriage. As the couple sank into debt, collection agencies turned nasty, filing claims against them in court for more than $5,000.

But the Portland megachurch they were attending put more of an emphasis on money than other churches they had gone to, pushing the faithful to give at least 10 percent of their pre-tax income to receive the full blessings of God. The couple couldn’t put up that kind of cash. Friends began praying for them.

“We felt like we were charity cases,” Zetaman says. He made a vow. “I’m gonna find a way to make my name for something. I’m basically gonna stick it to the man. That’s how it started off.”

You know what? That's how this blog started as well. A desire to "stick it to the man". It's amazing how motivating that can be.

(Thanks to Norm!)

4 Comments To This Post

  1. Just Thinking said:    

    My boyfriend thinks this is the beginning of the end and soon there will be any number of people living in a fantasy world — think LARP-ing — running around the streets with some aggrandized idea of who they are and what reality is.

    We actually argued about it the other day — I saw the merits and he saw the drawbacks — it was an interesting conversation.

  2. catalyst said:    

    Yeah, pretending to be a superhero is pretty ridiculous. But whatever. If that’s what it takes to make you happy, good for you. I don’t really care.

    And is there any doubt that the church he attended was City Bible? How many mega-churches in Portland preach tithing as a way for God to bless you?

    The harm Frank has done to City Bible is quite remarkable. They are going to have to live with this stigma for a long time.

  3. Just Thinking said:    

    That’s what I say — he’s doing something good so who cares if he dresses up to do it. My bf just over analyzes everything on 7 different levels.

  4. James said:    

    These acts are awesome but seem to be much more rewarding when you aren’t seeking recognition for them.

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