Do Hard Things
Posted on June 27th, 2008 by catalyst into the Christian Pop Culture categoryI just want to comment quickly on this Willamette Week article that I briefly mentioned last week.
The Harris twins are the sons of Homeschooling Godfather, Gregg Harris. And Mr. Harris has his sons traveling around the United States, speaking at conventions and challenging young Christian teens to, in their words, Do Hard Things. And these hard things are basically the standard Christian requirements: no sex, no drugs, no rock & roll.
The author of the WW article has this insightful quote:
It certainly fits with the twins’ message of “rebellion against rebellion”: the idea that evangelical teenagers can change the world, so long as they do not challenge a commanding adult authority that protects them from that world.
Heh. So true.
And look, I was homeschooled for six years. And the only thing hard about homeschooling is trying to find something to do that will fill your day. Home-schooling is mind-numbingly boring.
I actually learned quite a bit while home-schooled, but dear God, what I wouldn't have given for a friend that wasn't my mother. And now at the age of 30, I frequently find myself holding lengthy conversations with myself while at work. Something I picked up home-schooling. At a yong age my brother Jesse, who was also homeschooled, developed a close relationship with an imaginary friend named Bobby. You won't be surprised to hear that Jesse still keeps in touch with Bobby. Seriously, homeschooling will keep you safe from drugs sex and rock-roll, and it will also turn you into a complete and utter social retard.
Christians really need to get over their insecurity and fear of the world. They're missing a lot.
Anyway, I challenge you to read the whole article. It's actually quite good.
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June 27th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Excellent…i just found myself telling myself how true this all is.
More honest words have never been spoken. Hilarious.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Not necessarily the case, if you’re part of a large networking group of other homeschoolers. I’ll concede that at least half the time you ARE correct, though.
And hey…you’re almost guaranteed to win a spelling and geography bee!
June 27th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Well. I am not so sure homeschooling keeps one safe from the ills of the world. At the church where I attended the homeschool kids ended up with just as many and in some cases worse problems than the public school kids.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Hey you guys, at least you are making up for lost time now — who else could’ve put together a blog as effective of this one!? you may be interested in perusing the SMB Survivors blog
Press Junket came across it when researching the church her former college friends got sucked into - it’s like someone kidnapped them and replaced them with a
Sovereign GraceStepford version of them which is really creepy. According to PJ, they were such an intelligent couple, an architect and a lawyer if I recall correctly, who put off having children to pursue their careers. Their dream was to live in DC so they ended up there… once they had children their own true personalities went under — Mrs Stepford doesn’t work outside the home anymore and homeschools little ’sinners’. Anyway, this blog gives a peek inside the wac Harris Twin world and the affect it has on ppl who go there–from the perspective of those who are out.June 27th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I realize now after reading the Willamette article that I need to clarify the reference to the Twins’ wac world: Now I see that the twins’ reside in Oregon but it’s their brother Joshua Harris who wrote “Kiss Dating Goodbye”, who is the pastor of the church in DC that the survivors at the blog Sovereign Grace Ministries Uncensored speak of. It’s all wac in my book but clarification is always good.
June 27th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
How would hanging out with more social retards have made Cat and RP less socially retarded?
June 28th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I swore up and down that I would never send my kids to a Christian school and that I would absolutely, under no circumstances, entertain the thought of homeschooling my kids. Now that I actually have children and have a parent’s perspective I see the value in both. The truth is that it doesn’t matter what kind of schooling your children experience, it’s their home life that makes all the difference in the world. It is possible to homeschool your kids and have them turn out socially aware, it just doesn’t happen very often. At any rate, it will be interesting to see where these kids are in 20 or 30 years.
June 29th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I’m the mother of two toddlers. I have been researching home schooling, not because I want to shelter my children from the outside world, but because I am not satisfied with the quality of public education. Of course, my primary concern was socialization because I have heard so many comments similar to the ones mentioned above. Research has led me to believe otherwise. Recent studies indicate that home schoolers actually perform better in college, socially as well as academically. Granted, most of the research has been done by proponents of home schooling. However, I haven’t seen any research that proves that homeschooling has a negative impact on socialization. I’ve only heard individual testimonies that demonstrate social problems in home schooled students.
On the other side of that, one of my peers in college started the University at 13 years of age (after being home schooled) and graduated in four years with a double major in Philosophy and Mathematics. He graduated with a 4.0, was a Top-Ten Scholar, received the Silver Medallion (the highest honor at the University) and was socially adjusted (from my point of view). He received a full-ride scholarship to Oxford and currently has a D. Phil. and is an assistant professor. He must be 25 now.
I’ve been reading this blog for a while now and have been impressed by the intellectual integrity of many of you. But I am a bit disappointed on your clearly biased views on homeschooling. Classifying all home schoolers as “social retards” is unfair.
June 29th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Ok, I have to chime in. I wasn’t going to because I’m a parent who homeschooled, and I was going to leave the discussion to the
victimsstudents.I originally made a decision to homeschool because I had a bright child who could read by the time she turned 4. By the time she was 6 she was doing 2nd and 3rd grade level reading / writing / math. I remember sitting by myself in 1st grade doing endless SRA cards because I could already read and write. I did not want my child to repeat that.
So we homeschooled. I tried to give her socialization through some elective type classes and hanging out with friends who had similar aged children. (Ok, so some of my friends’ children turned out to be mean to her, and for that I apologize…
)
In 10th grade she transitioned into the local public high school and I’m glad we made that decision because she had other opportunities that were not available in homeschool, such as We The People, band trips, Mock Trial and Model UN.
She may speak for herself later in this discussion, but one thing she told me was that high school and college were easier for her than for some students because she had learned to be self-taught.
BUT, my other child has been in school since 3rd grade. Reason? He is very social. Because of his intense need for social interaction, a big part of his education is learning how to navigate in large groups. That only happens in a school-type setting. Academics are being covered, but there is just no homeschool substitute available for us that would enable him to learn social interaction skills.
So there are pros and cons to both sides, and in the end, a parent is called to do what is best for the child.
June 29th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
You’ve never been to a homeschool convention. My closet (and Catalysts as well) are stuffed full of participation ribbons from years of Homeschool Conventions. Believe me…all homeschoolers are social retards.
Its just a fact.
Catalyst and I are social retards. We speak for the group.
June 29th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
RP,
Ha ha! Point taken. I definitely won’t home school.
Seriously, it depends how you define social retard. You and Catalyst seem pretty well adjusted to me. I went to public schools and there were plenty of social retards there as well…and now most of them are very interesting, successful people.
June 29th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
This is absolutely true.
But let me just say this, I’ve never met a home-school student who told me they enjoyed being homeschool. I’ve met parents who tell me its great, I’ve met friends of homeschooled kids tell me its fine, and I’ve met people who believe in the concept of homeschooling tell me its a wonderful way to teach children. But I’ve never met an actual homeschooled child who appreciated the experience.
And fwiw, my parents made sure we were involved in several networks of other homeschoolers. And we playd basketball for a local Christian school, so we definitely got some outside interaction. It just didn’t substitute for the actual school experience.
June 29th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
What’s so great about the actual school experience? The only people who ABSOLUTELY LOVED HIGH SCHOOL OMG IT WAS AMAZING BEST TIME OF MY LIFE that I know are now 29-year-old losers who still wear their lettermans jacket. I’d rather have my kid be considered a social retard in the years when everyone feels retarded and be a success when they hit adulthood. High school sucks, period, whether you take it at home or at a school.
June 30th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Hey. I paid a lot for my letterman’s jacket and that is why I still wear it. =^)
It’s a little tight now though.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 am
My wife was home schooled up until a certain age and she absolutely loved it. However, she is the first to admit that she had no idea who the big stars were, the major movies, TV shows, and music groups up until about 1990, when she entered private then public school (she did watch Little House on The Prairie religiously though). Not sure if that matters much anyway, but it does help a kid avoid being labelled a “social retard” if they know who Hanna Montanna is and have the soundtrack to High School Musical. I do think you can avoid the social retard aspect if you take your kids out of a home school early enough so that they don’t realize they are the social retard (middle school is the most difficult stage to go through something like that). Hannah is right though, lots of the jocks and cool kids I hung with in a large public school really ain’t doing much with their lives 10 years later.
On another note, I don’t know how all these kids buy into the Harris brothers because there doesn’t seem to be any life experience there. Being sheltered by mommy and daddy for 18 years is a little scary in my book. But hey, God uses who He uses to do what He wants to do, so probably helping someone.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I was never homeschooled, but I did go to TCS. Sex, drugs, & rock and roll did go on while I was there - so much for the protection. I now have 3 kids and would never send them to a Christian school or homeschool. I have met many homeschooled kids and can say most of them have issues - no offense, they are nice, but they either lack social skills, or social courage - meaning in an unfamiliar social situation these kids fall apart and have a nervous breakdown. What's going to happen to these kids when they grow up and have to face going to work EVERY day. Something to be said for having to get out of bed at a certain time, put clothes on and leave the safety of home ALL on a daily basis. and one homeschooled kid I know is now an adult was controlled ALL his life by his overbearing mother, went nuts in college - he achieved a full ride scholarship - because he was smart, but blew it the FIRST semester by drinking the entire semester. He went nuts because his mother never allowed him to fail - and to test his own limits - she controlled everything that poor kid did - she now regrets the way she raised him. so my vote - public school.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I should say I have 3 boys - not sure I'd be so dogmatic in my opinion if I had daughters… :-0
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Oh, yes, that wweek article really shined some light on the celebrity that homeschooling features. The article seemed to catch the harris clan off guard, but it’s the COMMENT section that gets interesting. BTDT.
Hey, Greg doesn’t even refute the questions that are thrown at him, but brings up his sermon he’s gonna preach soon about ‘the strong delusion’. Wonder if he thinks him being questioned by those folks means they’re subject to believing a lie? Talk about power going to his head! The sgmsurvivors blog that reveals the authority-mania with that group, Josh h. included, just shows how they tend to believe.
July 5th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Good discussion - about the ties to Sovereign Grace Ministries and what I noticed about the “twins” there - the Harris’ are making money out of the deal. Some people in my former church went to the rebelution deal in Denver. What a joke - this is their idea of social interaction.
For the record,I homeshool my 9 year old. He was a social retard in private school too, so I’m not too worried about that part!
Anyway, the SGM families I know who homeschool (and many others from other churches and denoms) most have the same things in common which PREVENT them from REAL social interaction - they limit the interaction to like-minded children and families (i.e. homeschool coops and conventions, chuirch gatherings, rebelutions, etc) This is what makes them retarded. It’s not the lack of social interaction, but who it is with.
SGM is chronically inbred, and it attracts inbred families (by inbred I of course don’t literally mean inbred, although in some cases, you never know) They aren’t mission-minded, only church planters and getting others to join their cult. It’s this mentality that is dangerous, coupled with homeschooling, it is a recipe for a closet-freak.
I have lots of friends from other churches, have friends who are unbelievers, and have friends who are “normal” and not wac. I also involve my son in mission work - I mean the real stuff - not church serving and activities, but street evangelism, working with the poor, homeless, etc. Getting IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORLD - something many won’t do because they are so, well, inbred and fearful.
The fearful homeschooler will end up with retarded kids, the homeschooler that isn’t fearful of how their kids will turn out and it teaching at home out of a personal obedience to God and GOd has blessed their efforts, things will be fine. It’s when parents try to control everything little thing about their children’s lives that things go south. And they do this out of fear.
July 7th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Hi Concerned
Just want to let you know that I checked out your blog and bookmarked it for a later perusal. Good for you for speaking up. I notice you even have a prayer request section and you still have friends in the SG church. We can relate having a few close ppl in our former church that we are concerned about too. The Lord was able to disentangle us so He can do the same for them but it’s hard to trust him for that all the time . . . especially when it seems they are more entrenched than ever.
July 7th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I apparently am the one who honestly really liked being homeschooled and would consider it for my own kids (up until a certain age). A few things made my experience different perhaps. I was only homeschooled until jr. high, then went to christain school, and onto public school for highschool. I feel like parents make a huge difference in the social aspect and the not being bored issue. I happend to have cool parents who were pretty progressive and liberal for the times and often were reamed for letting me wear makeup, hang out with non-homeschoolers and non-christains, and go to concerts. Wow! Anyway, I feel like my mom utilized the time well and taught us not only booksmarts but life skills (including talking to new people and not having a nervous break down). I feel well balanced and confident because of my experience and wouldnt want to have had it anyother way. Depite my positive time of homeschooling, I vividly remember other homeschoolers and was different than many of them, so I may be an exception. Again, take into account personality has alot to do with it, on the parents and the kids end. That all said, its dangerous when people use homeschooling as a way to shelter and control. Rather use the extra time to expose your kids to other ways of life and that not everyone does or should live just like you.
July 8th, 2008 at 5:46 am
I stand corrected. We found a happy homeschooler.
July 8th, 2008 at 8:57 am
Grace Girl said:
no wonder you use the name Grace Girl - you really ARE one!
My friend just reminded me yesterday that one way homeschoolers and Christian schoolers may be stunted is if they don’t learn the value of critical thinking (omg i said CRITICAL!) which has at its base asking key questions. Sounds like your folks weren’t afraid of teaching you to ask questions and introduced you to the world gradually by allowing you to mingle with it to a point. Too bad they got flack from the homeschool culture which seems more fear based than anything, but from what you said your parents were confident in what the Lord was leading them to do with their kids and withstood the pressure. Yay for them!!
July 8th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Yes, and I am thankful for that. I just wonder how it is to Do Hard Things if your not surrounded by the world and hard things to deal with. In my book, its more impressive to go against the norm and do hard things when your when you remain a strong christain at a public school and are faced with daily pressures from non christains. Parenting should be about preparing your kids to function sucessfully as apart of society and effectively influence those around you (meaning non-christains I think).
July 14th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Exactly.
July 20th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I was thinking the same thing. The kids that came back from rebelution were such walking ironies. They were wearing those silly t-shirts saying “Do Hard THings” and putting all the details on their pre-teen and teen blogs, and NOTHING about what that actually meant. No mission work, no mingling with the world which would be hard, they live at home and study at home, and how hard is that??
What is hard is when your child starts having to put his convictions to the test - and where do you do this? Not in church, but the real world. Church is not the real world in my opinion. While the world is certainly an illusion, the church (what the world defines as church anyway) is part of that illusion.
I read once about a guy who wrote for GQ and researched what it would be like to live as an evangelical for a week. So he slapped a fish emblem on his car, read Christianity Today and CHarisma, attended a mega-church service, listened to KLOVE, wore Christian t-shirts, etc…his conclusion? Being a CHristian is just like being anyone else, only the marketing and advertising is rearranged, repackaged, and a cross is slapped on top of it.
How true. Too many profession Christians look like the world. And homeshooled children who don’t learn how to interact with the world are being set up to fall when they do have to enter it at some point. It is horrible that these kids aren’t equipped well.
Grace girl, you give me hope my homeschooled son will turn out OK. Thanks for your insights and comments…well appreciated!
August 20th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
RE Concerned’s comments….
For the SGM audience of the Harris Twins, “do hard things” should be things that really *are* hard for them:
1) compel SGM to release the annual salaries, speaking honoraria, and expense reimbursements of its pastors; and, to release detailed accounting of its churches’ annual contributions to non-SGM missions and other ministries
2) compel SGM to allow non-pastoral members’ attendance and input into church business meetings
3) compel SGM to send its pastors to accredited training in biblical counseling and conflict resolution
4) compel SGM to have at least one pastor from each of its local churches join their city or municipality’s ministerial association, and to attend meetings regularly
5) compel SGM to have its pastors establish working relationships with local Christian psychological and mental-health counselors, and local governmental social workers, to whom pastors can turn in cases of counseling with members who have serious needs.
If these “hard things” can be done, then certainly there is a God who works miracles.
August 21st, 2008 at 8:06 am
This is interesting…and I agree with his conclusion (mostly). However, one week is not enough to truly understand what it is to live in a “Christian” community. One of the best books I ever read was “Spirit & Flesh: Life in a Fundamentalist Baptist Church”. The author spent about 3 years with one church community and I have never heard any person (Christian or not) explain what it is to belong to a church community and why any person would choose that the way that he did. It is an amazing book and I would recommend that everyone read this book — it offers understanding to even the most stubborn of minds — both churched and unchurched.