This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Archive for July, 2008

5 Reasons

Posted on July 31st, 2008 by Reformed Pope into the Reasons why I love life category

Blog reader Mike, recently left this gem of a comment that I thought deserved further discussion:

Five reasons this blog is important.
1. Satire - Is a great way to get to the core (preachers use it all the time) it works
2. Debate - Is always a healthy. It forces all side to think
3. Reform - The difference between Christianity and other faiths is that Christianity is a self correcting religion. We respect authority but we respect truth even more.
4. What’s good for the goose- City church and any church for that matter routinely correct peoples beliefs and the beliefs of other churches.
5. Free speech - Is the truest and simplest way to bring balance to the powers that be. If city church is a power that BEEES it needs to be talked about.

Blog creator I salute you - most ministries are birthed out of something they want to change and are courageous enough to speak up about. Including City Church. Pastors don’t have a God given right to speak their mind more than commoners. I say cheers to you (bad ass of the blogging world)

I'd also like to add reason number 6: It gives you something to do when you are slow at work.

Thank you Mike for your thoughtful comment. We greatly appreciate it.

Christian Tats

Posted on July 30th, 2008 by catalyst into the Christian Pop Culture category

I don't really have an opinion on tattoos. I don't have a tatoo, because it isn't really how I roll. But I figure if someone does want one, more power to them. Sometimes they really do look cool.

In that vein, Chris sends in this Classic Christian Tattoo. (FYI, Not 100% Safe for Work) 

Hahha…. Oh, I so want to know the backstory behind (pun intended) that tattoo.  

Don’t Drink the Kool Aid

Posted on July 28th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Prosperity Doctrine category

I just had to post this.  These are serious responses from a blog I found about Sen. Grassley investigation into prosperity gospel preachers.  It is actually scary how brainwashed these people sound.  Reading through I almost threw up in my mouth, just a little. Its strange to me that at least 80% of the responders are women.

Gail H: When I first heard about the investigation, I was stunned. Then very upset- what if it were true that the Copelands and others have taken us for fools? Then, God spoke to my heart and I realized, they have not made fools of us or taken us for what we have. The reason for Sen. Grassley’s attack is nothing more than satan rearing his ugly head once again. You see, if we are downtrodden, in ill health and suffering, why would any one want to follow Jesus. Sure rewards in Heaven are nice, but what about right NOW? Do you want to follow someone that leads you into despair and sickness? Prosperity means so much more than the media could ever fathom.

Maxine Wilford: I have been supporting KCM for many years, and I have never heard Brother Copeland beg for any money. So I say to Mr Robert Luchow, you do not know the Copelands and it is best for you to stay out of this. God does not take kindly to people(ignorant or not)touching His anointed one.

Bettie: Ihave followed and supported the Copeland's ministry since 1977. I have been a good Berean and checked their teaching with the scriptures and never found a questionable doctrine. I will do whatever I can to help stop this illegal persecution. Certainly I will join others in prayer and God will hear from heaven and heal our land.

Tammy Roig: I am fully behind KCM. I truly believe this is more a personal attack than a religious one. Sen. Grassley is just using the power that was given him to pursue and deep seated jealously of successful ministers. I have been following KCM for six years and have never seen them "begging", "pleading" or "tricking" people into sending them money. I believe that KCM, Joyce Meyer and Creflo Dollar are all Godly ministries that function under Godly principals and are not "fooling" their partners and givers.

Deborah: We have supported KCM for about 15 years. They have changed our lives because of what they have taught us about The Word of God. The Senator fails to understand we have the mind of Christ, along with The Word, along with the teaching we receive from these ministries. I think the greatest way to settle this issue is to vote these life long Officials out of office and put in people who understand the phrase "One Nation Under God…."

Karen: If these ministers are blessed with prosperity, I am happy for them. It is God's reward for the work they do. I could not put a price on the positive changes in my life as a result of these ministries. Throughout this attack, we must be continue to believe and trust God.

Sharon: This is all out spiritual warfare. Satan is having a temper tantrum because the good news of God's love is covering the earth and the church is being prepared for what we need to know in these last days. I am humbled and honored to watch KCM walk in love yet stand firm both legally and in the Spirit.

Who is GOLDSTEIN?

Posted on July 27th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Comments From Others category

Negrodamus writes:

After being apart of the City Business Church family from virtually it's inception, I like to get a little philosophical for this post, I just finished reading George Orwell's book "1984" and there was a quote that stood out to me regarding a mysterious, sinister and ubiquitous figure named "Goldstein." Orwell, speaking of this character:

… [A]lthough Goldstein was hated and despised by everybody, although every day and a thousand times a day, on platforms, on the telescreen, in newspapers, in books, his theories were refuted, smashed, ridiculed, held up to the general gaze for the pitiful rubbish that they were, in spite of all this, his influence never seemed to grow less. Always there were fresh dupes waiting to be seduced by him.

So here is the my question, Who is "Goldstein" today?

The Shaq

Posted on July 26th, 2008 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

This is pretty funny. 

“Quit Being Parasites”

Posted on July 26th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Why We Blog category

An anonymous blogger recently posted this classic example of anger at us for what we do:

"How easy is it to point our fingers at others, especially those in authority. Jesus says pray for those who are in authority. Government, church, wherever. Sure no one’s perfect. I’m not perfect. Big surprise. We’ve all fallen short of the glory of God. Pastor’s are in fact people. I bet you would be the people writing blogs on King David when he killed Uriah and slept with his wife. You would point out everything wrong with them.

The fact is, as mature believers and those who are maturing daily, picking up our cross, daily. We must know that everyone is prone to weakness and everyone is tempted according to their own desires. Pastor Judah likes clothes, who cares; you may like to look at pornography in your room alone, but lucky you, your identity is hidden and your probably doing squat for the kingdom of Heaven.

In conclusion, why waste time writing about and pointing out other’s faults. My mother always told me, when you point your finger at somebody else, your in fact point 4 fingers directly at yourself. Remember the point is “practice and obey” not “point out and discuss”. Go buy a coffee for a stranger, when they ask you why your doing that, tell them about how much God has given up for you, and how much He loves them. Start a bible club. Start a cell group. Get plugged into a church. Do something! Quit being parasites and sucking up everything you want and need from local churches, and then go about talking filth about them."

Now I realize that it's hard for some people to comprehend questioning authority. Christians are always taught to "practice and obey," right? It's classic authoritarian, works-based Christianity. Hell, 13 years ago I would have thought the same thing. But maturity and a clear head has made me much wiser from my ignorant youth. And I do get that to a person indoctrinated into CBC, The City Church, MFI (whatever), we are nothing but judgers. However, as I have politely pointed out numerous times to these people who continually jump on here to vent all their brainwashed anger, cliche scriptures, and oh so heartfelt jabs (like you guys are parasites), we don't exist for you. This blog is not about ruining your church or defaming Judah Smith. This blog is about questioning false doctrine, discussing relevant issues in faith, and helping the thousands of people who have been abused by their church and church leaders know that they are not alone.

So please all you "we hate this blog" posters, save your time and energy. We're not here for you, your not going to guilt us into shutting up, and we are all still Christians. So as much as it irks you to know that this is a battle you will never win, just accept the fact that we are here to stay and take your attacks elsewhere. We are glad to be like Samuel, calling out David for his wrongdoing. Hopefully the wrongdoers will someday respond as David did.  Besides (and I mean this with 100% sincerity), we will be here for you when you finally need a place to speak out. We've all been in your shoes, and someday down the line you will be in ours.

Billions and Billions Insulted

Posted on July 24th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Christian Pop Culture category

In an attempt to raise a point about the ridiculousness of some Christians these days I just had to post this article (and the first picture that goes with it is hilarious - Rev. King Said…what’s up with that?).  CLICK HERE

Apparently Christians are now calling for a boycott of McDonalds because they support gay marriage.  I can't believe the stupidity in this kind of stuff.  Case and point:

"McDonalds should focus on food quality and safety issues instead of attacking the values held by the majority of people worldwide. Marriage between a man and a woman is the norm throughout the world. McDonalds' personal attack against those who support the traditional definition of marriage, while siding with a narrow group that promotes a radical redefinition, shows that company executives are out to lunch. McDonalds might as well change their signs to read 'billions and billions insulted,'" said Mathew Staver, chief of Liberty Counsel.

I just love the rhetoric here.  McDonalds is personally attacking those who support traditional marriage. Give me a break.  Why don't these people find something better to do with their time?  I am sure Jesus would be much happier if they took the hours spent picketing McDonalds and used them to share His grace with someone in need.  That would probably represent Christ just a wee bit better, don't you think?

I think its time for those of us who are ready for the new reformation to be as vocal as these people with our message of change.  Its time to promote the notion that Jesus cares more about our sinful souls then the places we eat.  Hmmmm, just a though but maybe I'll go stand in front of CBC with a big $ sign that says "Christians: Boycott Greed."  Think they would write an article on me?  (Only kidding Frank)

Purity Ball or Creepfest? You Decide.

Posted on July 23rd, 2008 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

Yeah, I know. I can't let this topic go.

Time Magazine has a new article discussing the Purity Ball. This is an event where fathers and daughters get dressed up, go to a dance and tell each other not to have sex. …good times …good times

(Side Note: I guarantee half of the families are homeschooled. Just sayin.) 

And of course, the Time article is accompanied with pictures. Check em out. They make you uncomfortable, right? 

All I'm asking is, Fathers, please FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AND HOLY, take the sexual vibe out of the event. Stop calling it a Ball. And stop treating your daughters like they're your girlfriends.

You can still have the event, and you can still tell your daughters to avoid sex.  Just call it a Purity Banquet. Or have a father-daughter Purity Breakfast. Or have a Purity Picnic. Whatever. I don't care. Just take out the sex. It's creepy. 

Getting Grace

Posted on July 21st, 2008 by The Reformer into the Sermons category

I know this has been a topic of discussion before, but I am new here and have seen two recent posts about Judah Smith preaching on grace. 

Kenrick said: Then i remembered Judah’s 5 Part series on Grace just a couple month’s ago. It didn't’t stop there, I checked their website, and the current podcast is titled Graceland.

Teapot said: Judah Does know about Grace. He preaches a whole series on it. If you are interested, Listen to this. http://www.generationchurch.org/audio. It will be under February 2008.

Based on these posts, I did a little investigating to see if it was true.  Had a prosperity preacher found a new path?  Well I was a little disappointed by what I found.  Although JS is shooting in the right direction, he's not quite on target.  You see I am a big grace preacher and have spent the last eight years of my life studying the bible, reading books, meeting in small groups, visiting churches, and debating with my friends/family, all in an effort to get real grace.  And in all this time I have discovered a main theme: grace living is easy to understand, but difficult to follow.  I say that because no Christian today can doubt God's grace.  But for His grace we would not be Christians, right?  However, I've discovered that many Christians are afraid of the real message of grace, especially those in MFI type churches.  Why?  Well they don't like the notion that we are all equal before God.  Telling the prominent pastor who's spent 40 years dedicated to serving the church that he is no more justified in God's sight then the drug addicted, gay stripper who genuinely turned to Christ, doesn't usually sit too well.  That message scares many Christians who feel they've paid their dues and deserve a "special" place before His thrown.  I even heard someone once say that in heaven the mother Theresa's of the world will get to sit at the feet of Jesus, while the newly converted convicts will have to stand in the back.  You see grace to them is an area of our faith, it's a good staring point but as we grow and mature we move on from grace to more important biblical principals (that's why they usually let the youth pastor speak on grace - its more elementary in their eyes).  However, getting the radical message of grace means that you understand it's not just one area of our faith, but that it's the only area.  You see the Gospel is not the beginning of Christianity, it's all of it.  Grace is not a balancing factor between irreligious and super religious living (as JS preaches), but rather grace is the essence of Christ.  It is why we even exist as Christians!  Grace tells us who we are and how we got here.  It defines the dichotomy of being sinful and holy at the same time.  It provides the answer to God's iron judgment mixed with His unconditional love.  But for grace there is no other reason to be a Christian.  Sounds simple right?

Well the problem is talking grace and living it are two different things.  Its easy for me to tell someone to depend on God's grace, but its much more difficult to do it myself.  Why?  Because humans have built their entire existence on a graded scale.  From family, to school, to sports, to work, to life, we have it ingrained in our minds that the hardest, smartest workers get the best rewards (the As) and the lazy slackers get the worst (the Fs).  And that carries right into our Christianity.  When the bills are paid, the job is good, the spouse and family are happy, and the bodies healthy, we think "I'm on my spiritual game this month cause God is blessing me."  Yet when the late fees pile up, we've been fired from the job, can't get along with the family, and are having health issues we think "What did I do wrong," or "I didn't pray enough this month."  The human standard causes us to judge our external situation by what we do for God.  Whether we like to admit it our not, our faith becomes a point system where we believe He gives us good things for good behavior, and bad things for bad behavior.  I lived this way for many years even though I thought I understood grace.  But then one day I had a true light bulb moment.  Sitting in church hearing a message on grace I realized everything I had been doing was in vain, a wasted effort to please a God that didn't need my pleasing.  The roller coaster of good and bad days to my faith in Christ had ended.  Everyday is now Jesus day!  Once you get that you remove yourself from the equation, and once you do that you begin to serve Him because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.

A reformed church gets grace!  People live the way God intended, in the ultimate freedom that He has called us to.  If anyone would like to go deeper in this I recommend starting in Galatians and pick up a copy of the book "The Ragamuffin Gospel."  Also there are some good on-line messages and bible study materials by Tim Keller and John Piper.  Living in grace is not the easiest thing to do, but it sure is the best thing to.

You can’t afford to attend church

Posted on July 20th, 2008 by catalyst into the Prosperity Doctrine category

There is a good story in the Washington Post about a new trend where churches teach their congregation how to get out of debt. The article, of course, includes, the obligatory "prosperity gospel" reference:

"Alan Wolfe, director of the Center for Religion at Boston College, said the problem for some church members is that "Christianity has always had a complicated relationship with money." 

On the one hand, Wolfe said, believers are told that the love of money is the root of all evil. Then there are those who preach a prosperity gospel, which promotes that God wants believers to have an abundant life with extraordinary financial blessings."

The article also includes this little tidbit:  

"What we are trying to get over to people is that we have to teach about stewardship the same way we teach about forgiveness," said the Rev. Kerry A. Hill, president of the Collective Banking Group, a consortium of pastors in Prince George's and the District who help area churches finance projects. "A lot of pastors agree that we have talked about tithing, and we need to talk about the other 90 percent."

My advice if you're really in financial trouble: Stop tithing.  And if you don't feel comfortable not tithing. Then stop going to church. You can't afford it.