This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Archive for September, 2008

Defending the Prosperity Gospel

Posted on September 30th, 2008 by catalyst into the Uncategorized, Prosperity Doctrine category

A professor at Boston University defends the prosperity gospel:

People generally know what is good for them, better than the well-meaning outsider. So do buyers in the marketplace, especially if they are poor. Thus the "consumers" of the prosperity gospel generally know what they are "buying." Specifically, they know that the betterment being promised them is not an illusion, and they know and don't care that their preacher has a swimming pool and drives a Mercedes. If they put money in the collection plate, they generally believe that they are getting good value in return. Thus it is not only patronizing to see them as dupes and victims; it is empirically misleading.

Basically, he's applying a free-market approach to the Prosperity Gospel. However, he underestimates the powerful hold pastors have over their congregation. In a non-religious world, the free-market theory works fine. However, in the confines of the church, where guilt and fear reign, it's not so much a free-market as it is extortion.

America Didn’t Tithe Enough - Part IV

Posted on September 29th, 2008 by catalyst into the Finances category

Dow down 773. 

Perhaps someone should have told Wall Street about the Prosperity Gospel.

I'm of the belief that America is in for a rough couple of years, no matter what the government does.  You can only live beyond your means for so long, before the debt becomes due. And America's debt is due.   

Five years ago I traveled through China and met some very poor but very happy people. And I came to the conclusion that Americans were pretty spoiled. I think we as a people could learn to toughen up a little bit. It's gonna be painful but America will survive this financial crisis, and we will be better people for it.  

But if I tithe, I won’t lose my house….RIGHT???

Posted on September 28th, 2008 by catalyst into the Finances category

Chris sends in this interesting article in USA Today about home-owners who face foreclosure, but still continue to tithe.

While millions may lose their homes during the worst housing slump since the Great Depression, some devout Christians among them will do so in part because they will not give up tithing — a voluntary contribution to their churches amounting to 10% of their gross income.

"I've had home owners who face foreclosure sitting in front of me saying, 'I'll do anything, anything to keep my home," said Ozell Brooklin, director of Acorn Housing in Atlanta, a nonprofit which offers foreclosure counseling.

"But after we've gone through their monthly expenses and the only thing left to cut is their tithe, they say 'I guess this home is not for me' and they walk away," he said.


You know my take, I think this is great. If you continue to tithe in the face of economic troubles, then you deserve to be poor. Homelessness is God's punishment for tithing.

Stop The Hypocrisy

Posted on September 24th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Politics, Christian Pop Culture category

I've become quite tired of the double talk that seems to be coming from religious right circles these days.  Some of the stuff they are doing has gotten down right ridiculous and very hypocritical.  Case and point: I just found this article by Roland Martin on CNN.com about a Christian bookstore that refused to carry the magazine GospelToday because it features female leaders, which they are opposed to.

"When the Atlanta, Georgia, entrepreneur (Teresa Hairston) decided to feature five female pastors on her cover this month, she says, Lifeway Christian Stores treated her like she had converted her Christian publication to something akin to the tastes of porn purveyor Larry Flynt. Apparently, the owner of Lifeway, the Southern Baptist Convention, wasn't too happy with Hairston telling the story of female pastors, because the women go against their 2000 decree that only men can serve in the role…"

However, Dr. Richard Land, President of the Southern Baptist Convention, has been very vocal in jumping all over the liberal media for acting sexiest against Sarah Palin (a woman in a leadership role). He recently said:

"I find these questions about ‘how can she take care of her children and be vice president’ sexist. Nobody asked that question to any of the male candidates. That’s a family decision. As long as she and her husband are comfortable with it and they seem to have done a wonderful job with the children they have, it’s nobody’s business."

And I'm not the only one asking these kind of questions.  Sally Quinn of the Washington Post wonders the same thing.  Can't they recognize how foolish this is?

I think Martin summed it up the best:

"Religious folks will quickly say that Scripture is clear that women can't be pastors and lead men, yet…I love it how these same Bible thumpers ignore the biblical story of Deborah, who was a judge in the Old Testament — and was over men. This is the kind of nonsense that drives more people away from religion. I suppose it's fitting that this story would come out the same time as Bill Maher releases his religious documentary, "Religulous," which skewers all the major religions for their dogma. I'm sure he feasted on positions of the Southern Baptist Convention."

Why do Churchians think they’re cool?

Posted on September 22nd, 2008 by Belteshazzar into the Uncategorized category

Our blog has been a bit serious lately, so it's nice to break it up with some funny stuff that deflates some of the tension in the blogosphere.

In other posts, we've talked about how a lot of Christian music and conferences are just so much fluff and hype. Kind of like a sheep in a wolf's clothing, if you catch my meaning. They work so darn hard to be cool and come off incredibly lame, and the most embarrassing thing is that they think they're succeeding somehow. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then watch this hilarious video from a recent conference:

http://www.theway.org/Current/Mar07/Mar07Flash4.htm

This video is uncomfortable to watch in that one very tall dude has got moves he could not have learned at a Bible conference. The creepy factor is pretty high here when you gotta wonder if the 3 of them have a rather, um, "special" relationship off-stage. 

Oh, but there's more!

http://www.theway.org/Current/Mar07/Mar07Flash2.htm

Here we have the trifecta of strange and bizarre Christian hype: incredibly stiff and smiling white people trying to act cool, metal guitar solos mixed with 80's keyboard sounds, all singing Christianese lyrics that are somehow strangely inappropriate when you realize that the "seed" they are referring to is not about plants.

City Bible has put on some wacky conferences before, but this is a step above anything I can remember, except for maybe "Living in Another World". Got any cool Churchian memories you want to share? Come on, you know you want to talk and laugh about it now. You were lame back in the day, admit it! (I know I was!)

(Note: Sorry if you're part of "The Way", but this is just plain funny to anyone except you.)

Shmashmortion stops a beating heart…

Posted on September 21st, 2008 by Reformed Pope into the Politics, The messiah will be our President category

 With all this political talk going on these days I can't help but wonder why ABORTION is such a huge issue for Christians? Maybe I'm crazy (and yes if my parents read this I will likely get disowned) but seriously…Why is finding a Pro-Life candidate the NUMBER 1 issue that Christians look for (so long as those pesky gays aren't trying to be treated equally).

Here is my stance on Abortion: I am Pro-Life…100%…well actually, its probably only about 50%, I don't really know, but think as I continue typing this we'll all find out. I believe that abortion is the killing of innocent children (they may not be innocent…I don't know how to justify that with "All have sinned…" but that's another post for a smarter blogger). Anyhow, I believe that abortion is killing little babies and is wrong…but here is my problem:

Where in the Bible is there an example of Christians…or anyone for that matter…working hard to protect "innocent" life? In the Old Testament, God was the one doing all the killing. How many "lands" did the Jews take over and kill every Man, Woman, Child, and Oxen…? Plenty…right? But now, life has taken on a whole new level of importance.

Also, weren't there Biblical societies that sacrificed children to their gods? Why didn't our God have His people try to stop them? Life wasn't nearly as important to them as it is to us…it seems.

I get that one of the 10 commandments is Do Not Kill…but there's a difference between "YOU Should Not Kill" and "YOU Should Attempt to Stop all others from Killing". I don't see God calling us to "Regulate the laws in an attempt to make society more Christian"…and I don't see Jesus out doing anything about it either.

It is my belief that today's Christian has gotten distracted from what is truly important - Living a Life That Honors God - and now spends way to much time trying to tell others what to do. We need to get back to LIVING the Christian Life and quit worrying about what everyone else is doing.

Laws don't make Christian disciples…however… People living a Christ-like life…well…you see where I'm going with this.

Of course, I think that life is valued a little too highly these days?

On a completely unrelated note, I saw a T-Shirt yesterday that read: "Obama Says Knock You Out".

Indeed.

Stop this Bailout

Posted on September 20th, 2008 by catalyst into the Finances category

Our country is on the precipice of initiating one of the greatest bailouts in the history of the world. It will essentially completely socialize our financial system. And then you can begin referring to me a Camrade Catalyst.  

However, there is a chance to stop or at least alter the outcome. All you have to do is contact your Representative, and tell them to oppose any Bailout of Wall Street without a significant tax increase on the Finance system.

For example, this could be accomplished by a 1/4 percentage tax increase on all stock sales. Or by an increase in the estate tax. Or they could raise the capital gains tax. 

If Wall Street wants tax money, then they can pay for it through higher taxes. Don't fool yourself, someone is going to have to pay for this, and I don't want it to be me. And I don't want it to be my children. (Well, I don't actually have kids. So I don't want JP's kids to have to pay it.)  

Here's the link to finding your representative:

https://forms.house.gov/wyr/welcome.shtml

If your Representative is a Democrat tell them you'll vote for the Republican in the fall. And vice versa, if your Representative is a Republican, tell them you'll vote for the Democrat. I worked in DC for five years, and trust me, Congress pays attention to their constituents, and they are desperately afraid of not getting elected next year.  

Anyway, I just called my Congressman. There is no reason we as taxpayers should be on the hook for the greed and stupidity of Wall Street.

Update:

George Bush and the Republican Administration wants unfettered access to 700 Billion dollars to help protect you from financial ruin. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/21/business/21cong.html?hp 

How come this all feels so familiar? Oh yeah, that's what they said about Iraq too.  

Scandal & Restoration

Posted on September 19th, 2008 by catalyst into the Biblical Parody category

Last week, Wendell Smith (Pastor of the City Church) updated his blog, which he usually gets around to doing once or twice a year. (Not a committed blogger.) 

In his most recent blog he tackled two recent scandals to hit the Evangelical world. The problems with the pastor in Lakeland Florida, and the perfectly-healthy-duper who wrote the song Healer.  

Here's a segment from Smith's blog: Hot Questions and Cool Answers


What did you think of the Florida Revival? And will it continue? I think it was genuine, with authentic healings. Although there was questionable doctrine promoted at times, many people were helped in the name of the Lord. Revivals historically are plagued with accompanying excesses and ample criticism but overall they help move the Church closer to a lost and needed truth. I am also thankful a group of godly Pastors stepped in to provide accountability for the Evangelist and subsequently provide covering (“love covers a multitude of sins”) and correction for him. We pray that true restoration will work effectively in his life (Gal. 6:1-5).

Should we still sing Mike Guglielmucci’s song, “The Healer”? Of course! That beautiful song belongs to the Body of Christ, and besides it was the cry of a sin sick soul that really did need the Lord to heal, (Psalm 41:3,4).

Not too shabby, Smith, not too shabby. Your response to "The Healer" is quite impressive.

Should Christians Support Torture?

Posted on September 18th, 2008 by catalyst into the Christian Pop Culture category

Here is a great Survey from Faith in Public Life 

The poll released Thursday, commissioned by Faith in Public Life and Mercer University, found that 57% of respondents said torture can be often or sometimes justified to gain important information from suspected terrorists. Thirty-eight percent said it was never or rarely justified.

But when asked if they agree that "the U.S. government should not use methods against our enemies that we would not want used on American soldiers," the percentage who said torture was rarely or never justified rose to 52%.

"Presenting people with this argument and identifying with the golden rule really does engage a different part of people's psyche and a part of their heart, their soul, and really does shift their views on torture," said Robert Jones, president of Public Religion Research, which was commissioned to conduct the poll.

A lot of this also comes down to "Turning the Other Cheek."  Another Christ-like principle many Christians struggle with.

Fellow Tithe Bloggers Unite!

Posted on September 18th, 2008 by Belteshazzar into the Uncategorized category

In my search for more blog-worthy material, I came across a kindred-spirit blogger in Jared. His web site is much like ours, minus the pointed direction towards a specific church. We at City Business Church are so focused on the shenanigans of the other CBC, that it's easy to forget that there are other good perspectives on the topic of tithing.

Some noteworthy posts:

Televangoly - the game  

Stop Tithing and get out of debt!

Be sure to check it out and leave a comment or two.