This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Archive for October, 2008

Where’s Moses when you need him?

Posted on October 30th, 2008 by Belteshazzar into the Uncategorized category

Well, the Evangelicals have really outdone themselves this week. They're so upset about the economy that they have resorted to praying over bronze bull statues on Wall Street. Leading the charge is self-appointed prophet, Cindy Jacobs. On the CBN web site, there is a call to prayer for God to intervene.

“We are going to intercede at the site of the statue of the bull on Wall Street to ask God to begin a shift from the bull and bear markets to what we feel will be the 'Lion’s Market,' or God’s control over the economic systems,” she said.  “While we do not have the full revelation of all this will entail, we do know that without intercession, economies will crumble.”  

Their thing went down with their usual wackyness and someone (sorry don't know who) snapped this priceless photo:

 Bull Prayer

I could be wrong, but I think these folks appear to be breaking the second commandment. Also, I think Cindy Jacobs is full of bull.* She was there for the CBC conference that resulted in praying over rocks. However, I wish to give her partial kudos for some inadvertent wisdom:

 "Don’t think you’re going to be in sin and that God will take care of you in these hard economic times. Holiness is key,” Cindy said.  "Each of us has a part to play and should not think that God will indiscriminately bless us without us dealing with personal areas that are wrong. We must repent of any misuse of money, think before we spend, get out of debt, etc., and allow God to do a course correction for us."

I think she got it half right. The first part about equating holiness with financial blessing is just, um, bull puckey. The part about being fiscally responsible is sound advice no matter what your religious bent. (And she's really bent.)

*Sorry, that was the best pun I could come up with. Give me a better one and I'll give you credit.

Sign of the times

Posted on October 30th, 2008 by Reformed Pope into the Uncategorized, Politics category

I was watching a TV show the other day that was mocking Sarah Palin (I think) and on it they had a sign that read:

JES : YOU

JES : ME

JES : US

Justin’s 2008 Letter

Posted on October 29th, 2008 by catalyst into the Has James Dobson gone crazy?, The messiah will be our President category

In the interest of fairness, here is a link to Dobson's 2012 letter. The letter is too long to quote the whole thing, but my favorite part of his prediction:

Many Christians voted for Obama - younger evangelicals actually provided him with the needed margin to defeat John McCain - but they didn't think he would really follow through on the far-Left policies that had marked his career. They were wrong.

And here is my October 2008 Letter to the Christian Community:

Many Christians voted for George W. Bush - younger evangelicals actually provided him with the needed margin to defeat Al Gore - but they didn't think he would really follow throuh on the far-right policies that had marked his career. They were wrong.

In 2008, George Bush left office with the lowest approval ratings of any President in modern history. During his tenure, he failed to prevent a major terrorist attack, he involved America in two unending wars, he depleted the military, he significantly harmed the US economy, and did very little to actually promote Christian values.

I really wish someone had written that letter to me eight years ago.


 

Respond to Dobson’s Fear Mongering 2012 Letter

Posted on October 28th, 2008 by catalyst into the The messiah will be our President category

This is from the Matthew 25 Network (Obama's Christian Outreach):

James Dobson's organization, Focus on the Family Action, recently published a letter purporting to offer a vision of 2012 after four years of an Obama administration. This letter, filled with doomsday projections, is fearmongering of the worst kind - a sensationalist fiction with almost no basis in reality.

How does it reflect on our Christian witness in the world to see self-described Christian leaders engage in such blatant fearmongering? When Americans read Dobson's letter, do you think they'll come away thinking better of Christianity - or worse?

James Dobson should hear from those in the faith community that find this tactic appalling. Please tell James Dobson and Focus on the Family how you feel.

As Christians we have been choosing hope over fear for 2000 years. Our public witness should reflect our deepest hopes, not provoke unfounded fears.

We've set up a form below that will send an email message to Focus on the Family's Citizen Link email address. 

Please go and send in your comments and reactions now:

http://www.matthew25.org/fotf_response.php

Thank you,

The Matthew 25 Network

As I've said before, I'm not voting for Obama because he's a Christian. I already voted for a Christian President once, and he suuuuuuucked! I'm voting for Obama because I think he's competent. So, in that sense, I don't think the Matthew 25 Network is all that necessary.

That said, I can totally get behind any Christian Group that stands up to James Dobson. It's about time Christians found better leaders that representated their faith.

If you really hate abortion…

Posted on October 26th, 2008 by Reformed Pope into the Uncategorized, Abortion category

"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost." — John Quincy Adams

Help me out here all you die hard "Pro-Life" "Anti-Abortion" Christians…why is it that you spout on about overturning Roe vs Wade and then say you will be voting for McCain? Clearly, Chuck Baldwin cares far more about saving unborn babies lives than John McCain?

I really need an answer to this? Especially all of you in Oregon…voting for McCain in Oregon is wasting your vote, Obama's got this state locked up for the next 8 years.

So, Anti-Abortion Christian's of AMERICA…this is your candidate…this is your vote:

Chuck Baldwin

"I will use the bully pulpit of the Presidency to demand that Congress enact Dr. Ron Paul's Sanctity of Life Act which would set forth that every unborn child is a 'person' under the Constitution, entitled to equal protection of the law and therefore, no unborn child could be killed without due process of law."

 

Chuck Baldwin

 

The Meaning of ‘Life’

Posted on October 24th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Abortion category

I just found this article on Larry A's facebook page.  It is so right on and describes my thoughts so well, I had to post it.  Some highlights:

“Since about 2005 we have seen a sharp decline in the number of people calling themselves Republicans,” reported Scott Keeter, director of survey research at the Pew Research Center, based on surveys released in early September. “Evangelical voters have displayed a great deal of dissatisfaction with the current state of things, including the Republican Party,” said John C. Green, senior fellow in religion and American politics at the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life.

To get a better picture of how evangelical views are changing, Sojourners interviewed 21 people from nine cities—including Seattle; Columbus, Ohio; Boston; Leawood, Kansas; Atlanta; Houston; Pittsburgh, and Boise, Idaho—representing six different ethnicities and ranging from ages 26 to 66. The conversations suggested a significant shift in evangelical viewpoint—a transformation with the potential to shake up not only political assumptions but the very face of evangelicalism in the years to come.

Many evangelicals, especially among those born since the 1970s, are coming to understand “pro-life” in broader ways, and the impact of that new perspective remains to be seen. As Time Magazine’s Amy Sullivan put it in early September, “While Palin is inspiring rhapsodies from the lions of the Christian right, her appeal to more moderate and younger evangelicals—as well as independent swing voters—may be limited.”

For instance, a self-described anti-abortion evangelical commenting on “Jesus Creed,” a leading blog of the emergent church, wrote that policies that fight poverty, work for health-care justice, and generally improve economic conditions for poor and working-class people will likely result in the number of abortions decreasing much more than under an administration that simply declares itself opposed to Roe vs. Wade—and thus supporting the former initiatives should arguably be considered more “pro-life” than the latter.

For some evangelicals, even those who consider themselves strongly pro-life, the issue of abortion doesn’t have a lot of influence on how they vote in presidential elections. For example, Bo Lim, a member of Quest Church in Seattle, said that abortion, along with several other moral concerns, “don’t rise to the top of my list of issues in regard to the election because of the limited role the president or our government can do in regard to these issues.”

Evangelicals across the country tell stories of their own transformation from a narrow concern for one or two issues to a broader understanding of the Christian call. Eugene Cho in many ways exemplifies these “new evangelicals.” "Personally, I don’t want to be defined by one or two issues,” Cho says. “Obviously two of the bigger issues that are highlighted by certain groups of the Christian segment are gay marriage and abortion. And while I acknowledge that they are important to me, I simply don’t elevate them over other issues. I must juxtapose them with the war in Iraq, local and global poverty, and human rights.”

That opinion is shared by Rich Nathan, pastor of Vineyard Church of Columbus in Columbus, Ohio, and host of last spring’s Justice Revival, co-sponsored by Sojourners. As the pastor of one of the largest churches in the Vineyard movement, with more than 6,500 members, Nathan considers the importance of the sanctity of life and the “least of these” when thinking about the upcoming elections. “I believe that the measure of a culture is how we treat the weakest person in the culture, the most defenseless,” Nathan says. As a result, a serious abortion-reduction plan remains one of the most important issues for Nathan as he decides whom to vote for in November. But the weakest and most defenseless people in a culture do not only include unborn children, Nathan says. “God is always on the side of the marginalized, the people who are the weakest and poorest. That includes the unborn and their mothers, but it also includes people who lack health insurance and folks who can’t find jobs in a global economy. It includes children and women who are being trafficked into sex slavery, and it includes the people of Darfur,” Nathan told Sojourners.

Support for the sanctity of life affects the views of many evangelicals on the Iraq war. That’s the case for Sokol Haxhi­nasto, a member of Park Street Church, a historic evangelical church in Boston, founded in 1809, where William Lloyd Gar­rison delivered his first major public address against slavery. Since 2003, Haxhinasto has been dismayed by America’s presence in Iraq. “From the Christian point of view, the war does not send a message of loving your enemies,” Haxhinasto, a doctoral student at Harvard Medical School, told Sojourners. “The war is certainly not pro-life, and so I wonder, how can you be pro-life on abortion and then go into a war that isn’t pro-life?”

Considering oneself a citizen of the world, as Nathan says, has compelled many evangelicals to also view the environment as an important issue for the upcoming election—an issue that has, until recently, been largely considered a “liberal” cause. For many evangelicals, caring for the creation is inextricably linked to God’s mandate to Adam and Eve in Genesis.

“Creation care has certainly grown to become an issue of greater importance for me, more so than previous elections,” says Jason Chatraw, a member of Vineyard Boise church in Boise, Idaho, “but it has for every candidate in every local, state, and national election—which I believe is a good thing and probably a result of the growing number of evangelicals involved in this movement.”

Tri Robinson, pastor of Vineyard Boise, began to see environmental matters in a new light after an eventful conversation with his two young-adult children. “They came to me and said, as Christians, they had nobody to vote for,” Robinson remembers. “On the one hand, they would have to vote against the sanctity of life, and on the other hand, they would have to vote against caring for the environment.” This conversation launched Robinson into a deep and careful look into the scriptures, where he was surprised to find an overwhelming call from God for creation care. This led to his writing several books about the Christian call to creation care, including Saving God’s Green Earth: Rediscovering the Church’s Responsibility to Environ­mental Stewardship.

Robinson represents many of the new evangelical voters who are coming out of their conservative traditions and challenging themselves to see the world in a different way—as a world where one issue is connected to another through a series of systems. The fragile environment contributes to a broken economic system that creates a society of haves and have-nots. The resulting injustice is what is compelling most, if not all, of these new evangelical voters to look beyond wedge issues to fight for the rights of all people.

Finally, I realize I am not alone.  Thanks Larry.

Victorious Secret: Lingerie for Overcomers

Posted on October 23rd, 2008 by Belteshazzar into the Uncategorized category

Since this is "Offend Your Readers Week" I just had to pass along this article from the Wittenburg Door about a Christian clothing company called "Victorious Secret". (Warning: Link contains provocative pictures of women in flannel nightgowns.) Here's a brief sample:

There's a widespread misconception, she said, that Christians fear pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, and see it as degrading, corrupting and tainted.

"That's a dirty, rotten LIE," she yelled, stamping her foot on the marble floor.

"But it's always so hard for a couple to transition from kneeling together in awe before the gates of heaven — praying for famine victims in Darfur, for instance, or the political situation in East Timor–and then jumping into the sack for a session of hot carnal pleasure. I wanted to help bridge that gap. That was my sacred mission."

I'm surprised they haven't already promoted an Ephesians 6 line of clothing which would include the bustier of righteousness and the garter belt of truth.

(Instant Purity Test: How many bad puns are in the title of this article?)

Prosperity Church Investigated by IRS

Posted on October 22nd, 2008 by catalyst into the Prosperity Doctrine category

A mega-church in Minnesota is being investigated by the IRS for using funds to purchase a plane for the pastor, and also for making inappropriate political statements from the pulpit.

Mac Hammond inspires his congregation with the "prosperity gospel," a version of the good news in which following Christ leads to material wealth. With 9,000 members as of last year, a Bible college, elementary and high schools, a drug-treatment clinic, and a television audience reached through KARE-11, Living Word seems showered in God-given riches. The church bulletin proclaims a weekly operating income need of $319,822—or $16.6 million a year. Hammond, too, is a poster boy for his message. Though churches are not required to report the earnings of their pastors to the public, Hammond has garnered enough to donate almost $2.5 million back to his church.

But recently, the very prosperity Hammond preaches has gotten him into a sticky situation with the Internal Revenue Service. Living Word and the taxman are in the midst of a federal court battle over the church's refusal to comply with an IRS tax summons. The government wants to know the details of an arrangement in which the church helped Hammond finance an airplane, then leased it from him and paid the fees to keep it in a hangar. The IRS also wants information on loans Living Word made to Hammond—including helping to pay for his residence—which the church partially forgave.

If the IRS determines that the airplane deal or the personal loans violated rules prohibiting excessive financial benefit to insiders of 501(c)3 tax-exempt organizations, Hammond could be forced to pay the church back, as well as pay a fine to the IRS. In the worst case, Living Word could lose its tax-exempt status, though that scenario is unlikely.

I don't really care if the pastor promotes a specific politician. For what it's worth, I think churches should be free to speak out publicly about who they support politically. However, it really bothers me when churches act and operate like businesses, yet don't have to pay taxes.

In my perfect world, churches would be able to speak out in support of political figures, and they would also be taxed like any other business.   

Christian Nymphos

Posted on October 21st, 2008 by catalyst into the Christian Pop Culture category

This is "Offend your Readers" week here at City Business. …and so without further ado, I present to you:

CHRISTIAN NYMPHOS: A blog for Christian Wives who really like having sex with their husbands.

Here is how they describe themselves.

We are women with excessive sexual desire for our husbands! There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. In fact, God wants us to be madly in love with our husbands. He wants us to keep that fire burning in our marriage beds! We have the Song of Solomon as a perfect example of a Christ honored union where the two people are obviously intoxicated with each other.

As far as the second definition goes, we each do have some good friends who have called us abnormal because of how happy we are in our marriage beds. Their attitude is that a wife should just put up with sex once a month or so to keep the husband happy. So for them to hear us praising our husbands and talking about how much we enjoy being with him, they do think we are “against the norm” so to speak.

Good Times!

(H/T The Vig)

Money is the answer

Posted on October 20th, 2008 by Reformed Pope into the Uncategorized, Scriptures category

I think I am going to have to change my stance on the Prosperity Doctrine. I know its crazy but I just read this scripture:

 

Ecclesiastes 10:19

A feast is made for laughter,
and wine makes life merry,
but money is the answer for everything.

 

Hmmnnnn….kinda makes you wonder….lets break this down:

1. "A feast is made for laughter" - Yes, I agree with that.

2. "Wine makes life merry" - Check. And beer and Wiskey and…

3. "Money is the answer for everything" - well…allright then….sign me up.