Well, at least I am…

After five wonderful years in Washington DC, (the birthplace of City Business Church) I have taken a new job in Chicago, and I will be moving there next week.  It's a great opportunity, and I am very excited about the future. However, this is also likely going to cut into my blogging time. New job, new boss, new city, actually having to do work, well they all add up to a lot less free time for me. Thus, if my blogging is sporatic over the next month or so, that's the reason. But bear with me, I suspect it won't take long for me to figure out how to do nothing and get paid for it, at which point I'll be back to forcing my love of Obama on you, and regaling you with my great tithing jokes.

Also, I feel I should add that ever since I started this blog several years ago, my financial position has improved dramatically. I'm not bragging, I just want others to know that just because you question your pastor and church, that doesn't necessarily mean God is going to curse you. He may in fact, bless you! If the last few years are any guide, God evidently considers blogging the new tithing.

Anyway, thanks for all the support!

Pam over at How God Messed up My Religion just nominated this blog for The Subversive Blogger Award, or something like that. 

Here is her explanation:

3. City Business Church
Not for the faint of heart. These wayward brothers of a local megachurch take to task through biting satire and razor sharp insight the corrupt messaging of the prosperity gospel and overpaid clergy. You have been warned.

Now, I'll be honest, usually when I see the words "Not for the faint of heart" and "You have been warned", I think I'm about to stumble upon some pretty dirty porn.  But uh, evidently those terms apply to this blog as well.  I thought about this for awhile, and decided that Pam was absolutely right. This blog is subversive, and you know what, that's quite alright with me. My goal in blogging is to undermine the Prosperity Gospel and the churches that preach it.

And you know who else was known as subversive, a young messiah I like to call "Jesus Christ".  Calling out the pharisees wasn't exactly the Status Quo at the time. And the Roman Government didn't crucify Christ because he was complimenting them on their excellent management style.  Christ spent the majority of his life, showing people a better way to live. And they killed Him for it. Jesus was a Subversive Savior.

So, thank you Pam. I genuinely appreciate the compliment.

Zetaman is a real life super-hero living in Portland, Oregon. Like most superheroes, Zetman wanted to fight crime. But he found that "fighting crime" in Portland wasn't as easy as it looks.

Heroes in Florida and New York claim to have no trouble finding street crime, but Portland’s darkest alleys are a safety zone by comparison. Zetaman tried patrolling in the parks around Portland State University (don’t people get mugged in parks?). Still no dice.

His 70-plus nights on the street have led him to the conclusion that in Portland, the homeless are the real people in need. Now he wears a backpack stuffed with blankets, hats, gloves and socks to give away. He lugs bags of food and soda. One night last month he gave out five double cheeseburgers and five chicken sandwiches from McDonald’s, along with a 12-pack of Shasta cola.

So know, Zetaman uses his superpowers to help the homeless. But how did Zetaman get his start, you ask.

Zetaman’s origins date back to 2006, a time when he was going through a rough stretch in his personal life. Both he and his wife had temporarily lost their jobs, and at the same time they were hit with thousands of dollars in medical bills when his wife suffered a miscarriage. As the couple sank into debt, collection agencies turned nasty, filing claims against them in court for more than $5,000.

But the Portland megachurch they were attending put more of an emphasis on money than other churches they had gone to, pushing the faithful to give at least 10 percent of their pre-tax income to receive the full blessings of God. The couple couldn’t put up that kind of cash. Friends began praying for them.

“We felt like we were charity cases,” Zetaman says. He made a vow. “I’m gonna find a way to make my name for something. I’m basically gonna stick it to the man. That’s how it started off.”

You know what? That's how this blog started as well. A desire to "stick it to the man". It's amazing how motivating that can be.

(Thanks to Norm!)

Sorry about the lack of posts lately. I am fairly busy at work, and there doesn't seem to be much religious news for me to write about.

Though, for some fun, listen to Dick Iverson's recent sermon at the City Church where he tries to promote Portland Bible College by mentioning a bunch of teachers that no longer work there or were fired by Frank Damazio. Also, when he starts listing all the great teachers, he deliberately cuts himself off as he's about to mention Frank Damazio. It's high comedy. And clearly, he is concered about the direction of that school.

However, I'm not here to discuss PBC. I'm here to discuss HTC. The Hood to Coast Relay. Basically, I have a group that is running the relay this August, and we have an opening for a couple more participants. So, I thought I would throw out an invitation to any of you runners who are interested in doing this.

If your idea of a great Summer weekend is cramming into a van with 12 other people and running in a 196 mile relay from Mt. Hood to Seaside, then email me and we can work out the details. My email is justin.morton (at) gmail.com. This invitation is open to anyone.

Thanks again to everyone who reads and participates on this blog. My intense anger and bitterness wouldn't be possible without you.

I just found the greatest blog ever. It is called Stuff White People Like and is devoted to, you guessed it, stuff white people like.

Number 2 on the list is:

Religions their parents don't belong to:

White people will often say they are “spiritual” but not religious. Which usually means that they will believe any religion that doesn’t involve Jesus.

Popular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but it’s much more rare since you have to give stuff up and actually go to Mosque.

Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much.

So true.

Other stuff white people like includes:

- Oscar Parties

- Having Black Friends

- Bicycles

- Having two last names

- Marathons

- Making you feel bad about not going outside

The blog could alternatively be called, "Portland, Oregon."

I think I may have been too harsh with Joyce Meyer. I confused her with another pastor, and I have made claims that turned out not to be true. She has never spoke at City Bible Church, which I claimed in a comment. And she has released a certain level of financial accountability on her website.

So from here on, I promise to withhold judgement, until all the facts come in.

Currently, Joyce has complied fully with Senator Grassley's investigation.

Here is an excerpt from a recent article in World Magazine:

Joyce Meyer Ministries, stung by journalists' questions, has made positive changes, including greater financial disclosure. The ministry did not completely avoid Grassley's scrutiny, but it was able to respond quickly to his request for information.

In my rush to criticize, I jumped the gun with Joyce Meyer. I should have done more due diligence. I apologize.

I just re-registered this website for another year.

So the sinning will continue… at least until 2009.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who offered to help Rory and Bethany Blumenschein. I heard from her brother that the outpouring of support was amazing, and on some days they had over 30 people helping clean up the house and property.

Here is a short clip KWG did on Rory and Bethany.

Again, thank you so much for all of your help.

We don't do a lot positive on this blog, but I just received this email concerning Bethany (Droppa) and Rory Blumenschein. The Blumenschien family lives in Vernonia and they just lost everything in a recent flood. In addition, Bethany is 8 months pregnant.  Anything you can do to help would be greatly appreciated.

Here's the email from Bob Droppa:

I am heading to Portland on a 5 p.m flight Friday night.  My son-in-law was weeping on the phone and was deeply concerned about our unborn grandchild.  He said, "Bethany really needs you now, Dad!"  Those words pierce a "Father's Heart."  I'd go through fire to help her.

Our son Robbie is also flying out Friday night from Dulles International airport in Washington, DC.  Together we are going to try to get things cleaned up and in order.  We will be getting things ready for our son John to come out to help with reconstruction.  We've got to pull down dry wall and remove insulation and get things prepared for John.  Truthfully, right now, I have no idea where the resources are coming from for such a simple thing as materials.  We truly have to see the Lord work in their behalf.  Thank you for your prayers.  They are greatly needed.

Bethany said that the current of the flood waters was so bad that it floated their freezer.  They have lost everything with motors, from their vehicles, to lawn mower, refrigerator, freezer, washer, and dryer, just to name a few.  If you have seen their property you would not believe how high the flood waters rose!  Bethany said during the height of the storm the water was rising a foot per hour.  Their 4 x 4 SUV van was submerged beneath the waters along with their car.  Their garage, Rory's workshop, the shed and barn were totally submerged beneath the water.  They live in a modular home.  Things look nice until tragedy strikes, then you see that things that looked like wood paneling all disintegrated and wash away with flood waters.  We don't know what we are facing as far as electricity, septic systems, the well and drinkable water. 

Unfortunately, when people loose almost everything looters and scavengers come in to grab what they can while the homeowners are away.
I would certainly appreciate getting the word out to your schools, colleges, clubs, organizations, churches that this couple had no flood insurance and are in desperate straights.  For those of you who do not know Bethany, our youngest daughter, she is married to a great guy, Rory.  They have a little girl who will almost be two by the name of Emilee and Bethany is 8 months pregnant with their 2nd child. 

You can reach them directly at:
Mr. and Mrs. Rory Blumenschein
61116 Nehalem Highway North
Vernonia, Oregon 97064

You may want to channel your giving through your church as a tax deductible contribution.  Anything you can do would be greatly appreciated!  God bless you all!

…word on the street is that Dick Iverson has selected the pastor to replace him as leader of MFI.

The rumor is that he decided to choose from his Executive Committee, which includes Frank Damazio, Wendell Smith and Bob MacGregor.

And the person he chose is…

…(drum roll please)…

…Bob MacGregor.

I claim a victory for City Business Church.