Ted Haggard is returning to the church. However, this time he's coming back, not as a pastor, but as a Christian Businessman.  And as many of you know, a Christian Businessman is just like any other businessman, except when he loses money, he blames the devil.

From the article:

– "Earlier this month, a guest took the pulpit at Open Bible Fellowship in Morrison, Ill., a 350-member church surrounded by cornfields. The speaker was an insurance salesman from Colorado named Ted Haggard.

The former superstar pastor, disgraced two years ago in a sex-and-drugs scandal, had returned — this time as a Christian businessman preaching a message that was equal parts contrition and defiance. Haggard linked his fall to being molested in second grade and apologized again." –

You see. Haggard didn't cheat on his wife, lie to his church and use illegal drugs because he's a sinful human being. No he did all that because he was molested in 2nd grade.  And as many of you church-goers understand, the key to success in the ministry is to be molested at an early age.

Update: Because that last sentence seems to have hit a nerve, let me just say that this is something JP and I have been joking about for years. Primarily because our youth pastors at City Bible Church (Bobby Mac and Dougie) both admitted to being abused when they were children.  It's as though past abuse is a pre-requisite for becoming a youth pastor.   

Last week, Wendell Smith (Pastor of the City Church) updated his blog, which he usually gets around to doing once or twice a year. (Not a committed blogger.) 

In his most recent blog he tackled two recent scandals to hit the Evangelical world. The problems with the pastor in Lakeland Florida, and the perfectly-healthy-duper who wrote the song Healer.  

Here's a segment from Smith's blog: Hot Questions and Cool Answers

What did you think of the Florida Revival? And will it continue? I think it was genuine, with authentic healings. Although there was questionable doctrine promoted at times, many people were helped in the name of the Lord. Revivals historically are plagued with accompanying excesses and ample criticism but overall they help move the Church closer to a lost and needed truth. I am also thankful a group of godly Pastors stepped in to provide accountability for the Evangelist and subsequently provide covering (“love covers a multitude of sins”) and correction for him. We pray that true restoration will work effectively in his life (Gal. 6:1-5).

Should we still sing Mike Guglielmucci’s song, “The Healer”? Of course! That beautiful song belongs to the Body of Christ, and besides it was the cry of a sin sick soul that really did need the Lord to heal, (Psalm 41:3,4).

Not too shabby, Smith, not too shabby. Your response to "The Healer" is quite impressive.

A couple readers sent in this article about a man who is suing his church after he got "slain in the spirit".

Now he wants Lakewind Church to pay $2.5 million for medical bills, lost income, and pain and suffering.

Matt Lincoln is suing after the church's insurance company denied his claim for medical bills, he said.

The 57-year-old has had two surgeries since the June 2007 injury but still feels pain in his back and legs.

He said he was asking God to have "a real experience" while praying.

Lincoln said he has fallen from the force of the spirit before but has always been caught by someone.

Lawyers for the church said other congregants saw him on the floor laughing after his fall. They said he failed to look out for his own safety.

I'm sure this will settle out of court, but this is one case I would love to see go to trial. First person I would call to the witness stand would be the pastor, and ask him to explain his power to "slay people in the spirit".

And remember sir, you're under oath.

Protest Starbuck's old coffee cup logo. A group of Christians in San Diego is challenging the sexual content of an old Starbuck's logo that the company is now placing on some coffee cups.

I do believe this is spelled out in the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19,20.

"Therefore go and find unimportant, uncontroverisal issues, protesting in the name of James Dobson, Pat Robertson, and Kenneth Copeland. Teach America to become increasingly annoyed with your lack of priorities and your obsession with wealth. And surely I am with you always, though embarrassed by your inability to understand the basics of grace and compassion."

Uh, so according to the New York City Church website, in April,   Dr. Frank Damazio will be a guest speaker. 

As you can imagine, this gives me pause.  I'm not so surprised at the speaking in New York, but at the "doctor" in front of Frank's name.

I didn't know you could get a Doctorate in tithing.

I'm actually genuinely curious to know where he got his degree. 

In any event, I suspect he is a doctor like Dr. Phil is a doctor. And Dr. Laura is a doctor. Basically, really good at telling you how to live your life, but not so good at helping you in an actual medical emergency.

Update: A reader informed me that Frank got his Doctorate from Oral Roberts University. As ORU is pretty much ground zero for the Prosperity Doctrine, this kind of makes sense.

Don't know if any of you have seen this recent video of Donny Swaggart condemning the Prosperity Preachers, but it is pretty good.

It's in three parts total, and here is the first one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIdTFSIj8AI&feature=PlayList&p=01B905C7DDF1517A&index=0&playnext=1 .

Enjoy.

-joebib

Recently, a church in Dallas Texas refused to hold a memorial service for a church member's brother, after finding out the brother was gay. The pastor, Gary Simmons, defended his decision this way:

High Point Church opposes homosexuality, and there was no way the church could host a service that appeared to endorse it, Mr. Simons said.

"Can you hold the event and condone the sin and compromise our principles?" he said. "We can't."

While I disagree that homosexuality is a sin, I'm down with letting churches preach what they want. (Unless, of course, they preach about tithing, and then I WILL RELEASE MY UNHOLY WRATH ON ALL INVOLVED!) …but I digress…. anyway, Mr. Simmons goes on to further explain the churches decision…

The issue was not so much that Mr. Sinclair was, from the church's perspective, an unrepentant sinner, he said. It's that it was clear from the photos that his friends and family wanted that part of his life to be a significant part of the service.

The pastor said that he could imagine a similar situation involving a different sin. Perhaps a mother who is a member of the church loses a son who is a thief or murderer, Mr. Simons said. The church would surely volunteer to hold a service, he said.

"But I don't think the mother would submit photos of her son murdering someone," he said. "That's a red light going off."

This, of course, begs the question, "Is homosexuality a victimless sin?"

Here's a fun video of a recent Christians United for Israel Tour, which is a conference for Christians devoted to helping Israel.

The video was created by a left leaning individual, so it's not exactly your typical Christian video. But it's interviews with the conference participants are absolutely priceless.

The title kind of gives it away, but still pretty funny.

Cannonball Baptism

(Thanks living life.)