Just ran across a blog by Joe Carter that discusses 10 harmful evangelism tools. They include:

The Alter Call, Witnessing, The Sinners Prayer and Chick Tracts.

Joe posits:

If you want to be a more effective "witness for Christ" then start by doing what Christ did and love other people. Start by loving the "unlovable" — the smelly, unbathed men down at the mission, the annoying kids at church, the bonehead who cuts you off in traffic. Yes, you need to tell people about the Gospel. But that is evangelism, not "witnessing." In the context of the Christian life, "witness" should be a noun more often than a verb.

Regarding Testimonies, he says:

Several years ago, during a job interview for a Christian organization, my prospective employer asked me to tell him my "testimony." The fact that I was a Christian apparently wasn't enough. I had to have a good conversion story to go along with my faith.

 And Chick Tracts:

Chick Tracts are a tool of the devil. That fact–and yes it is a fact–is not changed just because you know a guy who knows a guy who heard testimony about a guy who said the Sinner' Prayer after finding "The Long Trip" on the floor of a truck stop restroom.

Gotta say, I agreed with a lot of what he said. Evangelism tools are often impressive among Christian Circles, but highly ineffective among everyone else.

A friend from DC sent me this old Onion article about a Kind, Bearded Christian living in P-town.

Give me oil for my lamp, keep me burnin', burnin', burnin'," sings Portland-area resident Gerald "Jerry" Svoboda, a kind, bearded Christian with a guitar and a story to tell.

"Everybody!" he shouts before repeating the chorus.

In a time when community involvement often seems to be a thing of the past, it is rare indeed to find someone who reaches out to others in the hope of making the world a better place.

But here, on the outskirts of Portland, such a man exists. Though a community-mandated restraining order prevents Svoboda from actually entering the mini-mall complex, this modern-day minstrel continues his mission: to spread his message of love, hope and happy sing-along fun.

Mr. Svoboda also appears to be channeling Judah Smith.

"I enjoy talking to people, especially the kids. Because of my long hair, they trust me," he says, casually brushing aside one of his long locks like a young girl. "They know I'm one of them. I talk about this in my song 'C'mon Teens, Let's Hang Out With Jesus.' I admit, I may not know any songs by the Grateful Dead, but friend, I'm here to tell you all about the victory over death by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!"

Teenagers remain the primary focus of Svoboda's music and mission. He approaches a group of pierced, leather-clad rockers. "Say, how are you boys doing today? Just doing your own thing? I think that's neat. Say, do you ever think about God?"

Moments later, Svoboda is savagely beaten by the youths. His good-time spirit, however, is strong as ever.

Classic.

I've watched this music video twice, and I can't tell whether it's serious or not?

I think it's a joke, but I'm not sure.

God Hates the World

Update:

I thought this was a joke, but after doing a little research, I think it's legit.

http://www.thesignsofthetimes.net/index.html

http://www.godhatesfags.com/main/index.html

These people are genuinely insane.  

 It's been such a long time since we have done any Biblical Parody and since this blog was built on such Sarcasm and Wit I'd like to give it another try. From Luke 16:19-31 I give you:

The Rich Man and Erik Knox*

 19"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20At his gate was laid a beggar named Erik Knox, covered with sores 21and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.

 22"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23In hell,^[a] where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Erik Knox by his side. 24So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Erik Knox to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

 25"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Erik Knox received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

 27"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Erik to my father's house, 28for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'

 29"Abraham replied, 'They have Morton and the Samaritan; let them listen to them.'

 30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

 31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Morton and the Samaritan, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'

*All names mentioned in this parody are imaginary. Any resemblance to actual people is coincidental. Only one animal was hurt in the writing of this blog.

Colorado Springs has an annual Purity Ball, where father's take their daughters to a ball and proclaim that together they will lead a life of purity.

One of the most memorable highlights of the ball is when the fathers stand in the middle of the ballroom and form a circle around their daughters standing all aglow in their lovely ball gowns. The fathers place their hands on their daughters, and together we pray for purity of mind, body, and soul for generations to come.

Fundamentalists never cease to entertain me.

Update: I probably should have written how I feel about this. Here's the deal, having a father and daughter dress up, go out on a date to a Ball, dance together and discuss sexual issues is WEIRD! And more than a little creepy. Incest is real thing in this world, and frankly, I feel this type of Purity Ball promotes father/daughter sex.

There. Now. I hope people aren't offended anymore.

Yes… provided He decides to die nearby.

Film director, James Cameron believes he has found where Christ was buried.

And the locals are excited.

Local residents said they were pleased with the attention the tomb has drawn.

"It will mean our house prices will go up because Christians will want to live here," one woman said.

It's not as good as an ocean view or a quality school system, but it's certainly better than a nearby powerplant.

And if only Christ had died in North Portland, my parents would be millionaires. 

(H/T: Popsurfing)

For those of you who appreciate the original BBC version of The Office, here is a YouTube clip of Ricky Gervais explaining the book of Genesis.  

He almost sounds like a pastor, except for, you know, the beer and profanity. Still though, I think even you more conservative readers will laugh. I loved it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_EXqdJ4L7I

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Reforming Heathen sends in this article about a family who is suing a televangelist/pastor for claiming to heal their father. Televangelist Darlene Bishop advised the family's father to stop seeking medical help and rely solely on her prayers for healing.  You can guess how this ended.

Key quote:

A lawsuit claims Darlene Bishop persuaded Darrel 'Wayne' Perry to rely on prayer rather than radiation treatment and chemotherapy.

She says in a book that Mr Perry was cured of his cancer, without mentioning that he died of it 18 months ago, it adds.

Details…details…

For a little more info on Darlene Bishop:

Check out her speaking requirements.

And here is a short bio of her life. 

Outreach Magazine has listed the Top 25 most Innovative Churches in America. Sadly, out little church didn't make the list.

But Imago Dei in Portland, Oregon was #21. Good for them.

Also National Community Church in Washington DC was #8. I suspect this church made the list because they meet in a Movie Theater, and they built a coffee shop to hold their church offices. I've only attended NCC a couple times, but I hit their coffee shop just about every morning. It's a nice place. I prefer to buy the coffee rather than the Jesus they're selling. But it's still a decent church.

And the #1 most innovative church is LifeChurch.tv. An online church with an internet campus. If Lifechurch.tv is looking for an Internet Pastor, I believe Reformed Pope is willing to apply for the position.