Below is an email we received from someone who recently got fed up with the superficiality of church. I edited the email to protect the writers identity.
I have been reading this blog for years but have never had the guts to actually send an e-mail with how grateful I am to have found this site. I found this site after I had been out of CBC for a few years. I was hurt badly at CBC from a lot of people ranging from “pastors” (I unfortunately use the quotes because the lack of maturity is maddening to me) to just other church members who were friends and family friends. I never felt like I fit in at CBC and was always treated as such. I never did drugs, wasn’t having sex, wasn’t drinking, wasn’t partying etc. There wasn’t any reason for me to be treated the way I was treated.
I went through serious health and mental issues in high school and found no help when in “counselling” sessions from CBC pastors. I also realized the emphasis on outward appearance there more than I already had. My doctors were extremely excited because I was 10 pounds away from gaining to the “goal” weight they wanted. I was approached by a “mentor” who negatively commented on my weight gain.
I stopped going to youth group during my freshman year of high school. I literally came home crying from some comment either another GU member said to me or a pastor. Comments about my non Nordstrom jeans, and other stuff. The day before and day of GU became days that I had so much anxiety that I could not handle it anymore. I found that it was less stressful to take heat for not going to GU than to actually just go.
Leaving City Bible was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I no longer found my identity in CBC, but found it in my studies. I felt confident, happy, and worth something. These feeligns were something I never felt before because my life revolved solely around a church that I felt like an outcast in.
I don’t have a problem with God, and I never have. I’m not an immoral person, I still read my bible and pray daily and try to live my life according to the Word. But as for a church I have not gone in forever. However over the past few years I have formed a friendship with a lady I met through my work and she has finally convinced me to try her church. Her church is a place where jeans and a tee shirt are fine and that it’s okay to make a mistake because pastors help you through it. If this church is anything like the person she is, I can’t wait to try it.
I read your blog not because I am bitter anymore, but because it’s a place where people can go through the process. They find out they aren’t the only one, or they read it because it puts CBC in a negative light, but then they just end up reading it to thank God they are out and in a new and better place. I like to look at this blog, it’s a constant reminder that leaving CBC was the best decision I have ever made.
I have never had the guts to really tell my story, and I know this is a long email, but I’ve never really told anyone besides a few close friends about what I went through and how I felt. Your blog has been a great place for me to have the courage to stand by my decision to stay away from CBC and I love seeing people come out with their stories and what they went through. If it had not been for this blog, I would still have this nagging thought of am I awful because I feel this way about CBC. I love seeing stories of people breaking free and finding a better place.
I have to laugh at myself because as I went to send this, I almost didn’t because I became afraid if you mentioned my name in conversation someday to a CBC person that happened to know me, what would they say? Would they claim I was lying? Would they judge me? Would they say I overreacted? But thoughts like that, fear of being judged for saying the truth….that’s exactly why I left CBC. I am telling my story in this e-mail to you because it just feels good to tell someone who would understand because they’ve been there too. I’m sure you may think I’m crazy blabbering on to you in this, but then I remember..I’m not the only one that has e-mailed you before to thank you for the blog.