This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Archive for the 'Things Dougie wouldn't do' Category

Sex and Delinquency

Posted on March 13th, 2007 by catalyst into the Things Dougie wouldn't do category

My friend Pete sends in this study showing a correlation between sex and delinquency.

A national study of more than 7,000 youth found that adolescents who had sex early showed a 20 percent increase in delinquent acts one year later compared to those whose first sexual experience occurred at the average age for their school.

In contrast, those teens who waited longer than average to have sex had delinquency rates 50 percent lower a year later compared to average teens. And those trends continued up to six years.

The study defines delinquency:

To determine rates of delinquency, students in the survey were asked how often in the past year they participated in a variety of delinquent acts, including painting graffiti, deliberately damaging property, stealing, or selling drugs.

So, sex leads to grafitti. Who knew?

“They can gyrate in religious ecstasy”

Posted on January 16th, 2007 by catalyst into the Things Dougie wouldn't do category

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The New York Times has a three part series discussing the difficulty the Pentacostal Church is having keeping their youth in church.  The series does not really delve into any new topics, but it does have this fun paragraph describing the struggles of teenage Evangelicals.

And for the teenagers, it means navigating a tricky adolescence in which the boundaries are strict, but not always understandable. They can have cellphones and video games, but are told not to watch television. They can date, but preferably only other Pentecostals and then sometimes only with a chaperon. Dancing is taboo, but they can gyrate in religious ecstasy. Horror movies are bad, yet preachers regale them with gruesome visions of the apocalypse.

What? "Dancing is taboo, but they can gryate in religious ecstasy". I did not know this; this is news to me. At City Bible/Bible Temple, they define "gyrating in religious ecstasy" as hopping up and down.

Cowboy Challenge

Posted on January 5th, 2007 by Reformed Pope into the Things Dougie wouldn't do category

I hesitate to do this, but…

I would like to challenge Cowboy the Magnificent to write out what she (or whatever) believes to be the truth in regards to Biblical interpretation of the "Tithe" and send it to me for posting on this site. It's only fair to give both sides an equal chance to share.

Cowboy, you are real good at pointing out others problems (as we all are here), but are you willing to take an actual stand for yourself (Forgive me if you have already done this, I read very few of your comments).

Write it out and send it over; we will give you center stage…and then we will likely mock you (I want to be very forthcoming about my intentions).

Do you accept?

Acting Like Christ

Posted on January 4th, 2007 by catalyst into the Things Dougie wouldn't do category

 

A common complaint about this blog is that we are too negative and we criticize too much. It's a fair complaint.

So in the interest of balancing out the blog, here is a wonderful story about a New York construction worker named Wesley Autrey who while riding the Subway with his two daughters saved the life of another man who had fallen into the tracks of the subway system.

Here is how the Times describes the scene:

Nearby, a man collapsed, his body convulsing. Mr. Autrey and two women rushed to help, he said. The man, Cameron Hollopeter, 20, managed to get up, but then stumbled to the platform edge and fell to the tracks, between the two rails.

The headlights of the No. 1 train appeared. “I had to make a split decision,” Mr. Autrey said.

So he made one, and leapt.

Mr. Autrey lay on Mr. Hollopeter, his heart pounding, pressing him down in a space roughly a foot deep. The train’s brakes screeched, but it could not stop in time.

Five cars rolled overhead before the train stopped, the cars passing inches from his head, smudging his blue knit cap with grease. Mr. Autrey heard onlookers’ screams. “We’re O.K. down here,” he yelled, “but I’ve got two daughters up there. Let them know their father’s O.K.” He heard cries of wonder, and applause.

This reminds me of my favorite Bible Verse:

Greater love hath no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.