This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

How the Tithe robs you of your retirement

Posted on August 27th, 2008 by Belteshazzar into the Uncategorized category

"Will a man rob God?"

This quote from Malachi is often used to back up the practice of the tithe. It's a blatant guilt tactic to keep people tithing as the passage talks about blessings from God if you tithe and cursing if you don't. We've argued many times over and over again that we as Believers no longer live under OT law, so the blessings and cursing don't apply. But this myth of tithing and promised prosperity has a direct consequence upon the financial well-being of those who still practice it.

Let us assume you have a 401k plan or a similar retirement fund. (You don't? Get one!) Let us also assume you make a modest $40,000 a year, for the sake of argument, and that you're not very ambitious and your salary doesn't go up at all until retirement. Obviously, this is pretty lame, but it makes the numbers easier to work with. Let us now imagine that you take 10% of your income and faithfully deposit that sum into your 401k, from the age of 25 until you retire at 65. That $4,000 a year, through the miracle of compound interest at a modest 7%, becomes a whopping $854,438.28! (If that isn't enough to motivate you to start saving for retirement NOW, I don't know what will.) An interesting thing about compound interest, is that the sooner you start saving the bigger your earnings. If Peter started contributing 10% to his 401k at age 25 and then quit contributing at age 35, he would still earn $450,146.10. If Paul started contributing 10% to his 401k at age 35 until he was 65 he would only have $404,292.17.OK, so that's your financial lesson for the day.

So, if you were to instead put 10% of your income into tithing, how much money would you have for retirement? Well, unless the church (or God?) is going to write you a check when you turn 65, you get nothing. Zip. Bupkiss. Nada. All those promises about not being able to out-give God? Explain that to your grandfather who is living on Social Security after tithing his entire life. Who is going to pay his gas bill this winter? Never mind actually enjoying his retirement. 

"But, Belteshazzar," you say, "why can't you save 10% and tithe 10% as well?" Fair question! It seems like it doesn't have to be either/or, but should it? If you were actually frugal enough to live on 80% of your modest $40k a year, good for you! But, if you had put all 20% in your 401k, you'd have a retirement savings of $1.7 million! Not only is that a lot of money, you could afford to give even more money to the church than if you had tithed it. How you ask? First off, you'd be able to "tithe" 10% of your savings to the tune of $170,000. That's $10k more than you could have given if you faithfully gave $4k a year. Plus, with the remaining funds in a 5%CD, you earn interest of $76,500 a year. 10% of that is 7,650 a year, almost twice of what you were tithing in the original way of thinking. Imagine if a church had a group of retirees who consistently gave from their rather fat retirement accounts, who were also able to enjoy their retirement? A church board could not ask for a more stable financial plan. Imagine if you had a modest size church where you had 10 retirees, including one "new" retiree per year, that's a revenue of almost $250k a year, which is a good start on a budget for a small church. The kicker is, no one in the church has to be poor to do it. 

So, the next time you hear, "Give to God first" and "give until it hurts" and "sacrifice", ask yourself, "What am I giving up?" If you and your family aren't your first priority, then it's time to reexamine your priorities. If a church is encouraging or even demanding that tithing come first in your finances, then they are abusing your trust and potentially robbing you and the church of real financial prosperity. Tithing the poor in your church just keeps them and the church poor in the long run.

24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

    26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

    28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'"

Obama Assassination Attempt

Posted on August 26th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Uncategorized category

Since City Business has officially endorsed Obama, I thought I would share this crazy story with our readers.  Not sure why this has not been publicized more, but turns out the first major assassination attempt on Obama has been foiled.  CLICK HERE for details. 

I know we are on the left coast with a lot of love for Obama around these parts, but you gotta figure there are hundreds of militia and white supremacy groups chomping at the bit to take him out.  The chances of a black man as the leader of the free world has got to be sending them into a freaking frenzy.  If he is elected I hope his security detail is damn near close to the US National Guard, cause it's almost inevitable that someone is going to take a shot at him.

Christian High Schools are Subpar

Posted on August 13th, 2008 by catalyst into the Uncategorized, Has James Dobson gone crazy? category

Heh. That's a slightly misleading title. But somewhat the truth.

A Federal Court judge recently ruled that California Universities can deny credit to students who take courses where the Bible is treated as infallible:

Rejecting claims of religious discrimination and stifling of free expression, U.S. District Judge James Otero of Los Angeles said UC's review committees cited legitimate reasons for rejecting the texts - not because they contained religious viewpoints, but because they omitted important topics in science and history and failed to teach critical thinking.

I like the part about failing to teach "critical thinking". But ultimately, this isn't really that big of a deal. Most colleges will accept the Bible as a historical scholarly document. But if you start claiming that there are no contradictions and everything in the Bible is literally true, well then you're kind of crazy. 

Home Schooling Wins

Posted on August 12th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Uncategorized category

It looks like the "social retard" brotherhood has struck a final blow to those lefties who think that home schooling is a brainwashing tool for the religious right. 

Back in February, a California court basically outlawed home schooling by holding that parents must have a teaching credential to do so.  A family appealed the ruling and the court reversed its earlier decision last Friday.  The reason for the change of heart is considered a political one because thousands of people protested via email, letters and public gatherings.  The judges did not want to have this decision hanging over their future careers.  As one home-school parent put it, it looks like "God has delivered home schooler's in California from the mouth of the lion."  (Gotta love that Christianese).

I for one am glad for the reversal.  Some young home schooler is out there right now, who someday will be the next great Christian blogger.  I mean, what would we all do if Cat and Pope did not start City Business Church? 

Ahhh, the power of home school.

Signs You’re Free

Posted on August 8th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Uncategorized category

Our friends over at the De-Tox Church Group recently shared with us a checklist of signs you are out of the religious world.  I thought this was a great idea, so I have taken their list of 11 points and modified it a bit to fit in here at City Business.  I hope everyone reading this can say, "yep that's me," because it means you have freed yourself of the lies.  Enjoy.

SIGNS YOU ARE NO LONGER APART OF THE RELIGIOUS WORLD:

1. You believe it's OK to miss church and never look down at anyone who has stopped going.

2. You only submit to God's perfect authority.

3. Your don't care about having a close, personal relationship with your pastor.

4. You're more concerned about serving others then being recognized.

5. You are disgusted by even the thought of watching anything on TBN.

6. You are no longer interested in or even have knowledge of the latest Christian fads and/or books (i.e. Elijah list, The Prayer of Jabez, Purpose Driven Life, WWJD products, etc.)

7. You no longer attend church conferences with topics like "Finding Your Destiny" and could care less what Christian celebrity is speaking there.

8. You spend your time, money and energy pursuing God's unique and individual plan for your life, even if it involves "secular" things (i.e. music, film, sports, etc.)

9. You grieve over the fact that you wasted so much time living under a false gospel and vow to help get others out as well.

10. You only care to please God and pay no attention to what church folks think of you.

11. You work daily to purge your vocabulary of any and all Christian lingo.

12. You follow God's prodding and give your money to those He directs you to, in an amount that He tells you to.

13. You use prayer and bible study as a way to commune with God and others, not as religious practices to earn brownie points in heaven.

14. You live by grace alone and don't get hung up on the small stuff (i.e. beer & cigars)

15. You have a stronger faith in God now then you have ever had before.

I Kissed a Girl

Posted on August 4th, 2008 by catalyst into the Uncategorized, Christian Pop Culture category

So you know that song by Katy Perry that you can't get out of your head. The song that is played everywhere and you secretly like it, but you can't admit you like it or all your annoying friends won't think your cool.

You know the song with the lyrics: 

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

Yeah uh, turns out Ms. Perry's real name is Katheryn Hudson. And before singing pseudo-lesbian rock, she was a Christian musician , and her parents are pastors.

And a couple of quick thoughts here:

1) Christian music is like most everything else that's Christian in America; it's about money. So no real surprise, here.

2) TOUCH NOT THY ANNOINTED!

If this is how a Christian musician wants to lead people to Christ, then who are we to judge. She's using her good looks and ambiguous sexuality to reach men all over the world. Men who might not find Christ any other way. It's Missionary Dating on a global scale. And she is reaching millions of people with her message of female sexual experimentation.  

So all you haters, just need to get a life, and let our girl Katy work her magic for the Lord. Stop being bitter and get a real hobby.  She's ministering to the lost. What are you doing? 

The Shaq

Posted on July 26th, 2008 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

This is pretty funny. 

Purity Ball or Creepfest? You Decide.

Posted on July 23rd, 2008 by catalyst into the Uncategorized category

Yeah, I know. I can't let this topic go.

Time Magazine has a new article discussing the Purity Ball. This is an event where fathers and daughters get dressed up, go to a dance and tell each other not to have sex. …good times …good times

(Side Note: I guarantee half of the families are homeschooled. Just sayin.) 

And of course, the Time article is accompanied with pictures. Check em out. They make you uncomfortable, right? 

All I'm asking is, Fathers, please FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED AND HOLY, take the sexual vibe out of the event. Stop calling it a Ball. And stop treating your daughters like they're your girlfriends.

You can still have the event, and you can still tell your daughters to avoid sex.  Just call it a Purity Banquet. Or have a father-daughter Purity Breakfast. Or have a Purity Picnic. Whatever. I don't care. Just take out the sex. It's creepy. 

To Stay Or Not To Stay?

Posted on July 15th, 2008 by The Reformer into the Uncategorized category

A new blogger recently had this to share:

Our old church shut people out when they brought up concerns and launched an outright attack complete with false and very incriminating stories when they left the church. We’re going through that now and its beyond painful - its devastating.  Sure you can say “hey, just leave” but it can tear a family/individual apart to break way from something that you gave so much of your life too.  Although I have faithfully attended church since I was a teenager (BT/CBC, than LHF), I can very easily see now why people walk away from church forever. If it weren't’t for our children, I would never go again.

I've had a number of debates over the last few years about whether or not one should stay at a church they don't like or even go to church at all.  Most of us have the same church leaving stories - guilt, condemnation, anger, pain, etc.  I've heard people argue they can't leave a church if its God's will for them to be there or if their family goes there because they will be "out of the covering."  I've also heard people say they can't leave because they have to help bring about the change and leaving won't help.  I've even had friends leave a church, go back, then leave again, all out of confusion about what's right and wrong in others eyes.  I've gone through this a few times, first leaving CBC in high school, then leaving New Song in college, both of which were not easy at the time.  I had all sorts of negative things said about me and lost a number of friendships over it.  And I always love the crazy tactics churches leaders use to get people to stay, such as when my wife left CBC after growing up there - they offered her a paid staff position to stay.  Now that's pretty funny.

In the new reformation church attenders should support people who decide to move on.  Church is a bonus to our faith not a requirement of it.  No one church is going to offer everything a person wants, likes or needs.  Toady's church's are so concerned about their numbers that they dummy down their focus to attract more people.  Instead of focusing on one area that they could be strong in (worship, preaching, outreach, drama, etc.) they try to cover all areas, being good at none of them.  Over time they become cesspools of self adoration, where members think they are the best church out there.  The bottom line is that church has become a man made show.  If we want to change the church we have leave it and start fresh.  The new 21st century church should encourage people to come and go as they please.  I don't even think a person needs a home church to be a strong believer.  Serving Christ is all about individual love and desire to know Him.  Whether you go to church 7 days a week or never at all, that love and desire should come from within, not the four walls of a church.

Anyone have any good church leaving stories or additional thoughts on the need for church? 

Stuff Christians Like

Posted on July 13th, 2008 by Reformed Pope into the Uncategorized category

I don't know how this blog has managed to slip by for the past year without having anyone mention it to me…but I found it on my own anyway. Quite frankly I find it to be hilarious…and it's funny because its true.

 Last night my wife and I spent some time going through #159 "The Pray if you feel led" Prayer and figuring out who in our church matches up with each of the descriptions (Tanell and I both feel that we fit the role of "The Cave In".) Anyway, since things are so slow around here (sorry Catalyst…I know I'm not pulling my weight) take time to check out Stuff Christians Like, I especially liked:

 #301 The Prayer Score Guide

#338 The Last Night Cry Fest at Camp

 #269 Understanding How MetroSexual your worship leader is (a Handy guide)

Anyway, I apologize if someone has already pointed me (us) to this blog and i just missed it. I'm really enjoying reading it.