This website is a parody of City Bible Church. We are not owned or operated by Frank Damazio or affiliated with City Bible Church. Please do not send us your tithe.
It is not by grace that one enters the kingdom of heaven, but by tithing.

- Damazio 3:16


Archive for the 'When We Quit' Category

Pope Update (Circling the Wagon)

Posted on December 18th, 2004 by catalyst into the When We Quit category

I do not want to say this blog is retreating, but we are definitely regrouping. It has been tough to witness a member of our family so greviously injured. But the outpouring of support has been overwhelming. And fortunately we have been able to recruit a couple new bloggers to take Pope’s place while he recovers.

I am happy to report that Pope is slowly being nursed back to health. He is still fading in and out of consciousness, but I have our best bloggers by his side. We have made sure that whenever he starts twitching and reaching for that check book to make a daily tithe, there is always someone there to remind him that Salvation comes through Grace and not through tithing. It is a slow process, but I am confident he will be fully recovered in time for next weeks blogging blitz.

In addition to the new bloggers, we have also recruited a couple of new moles who will be monitoring the service tomorrow. They have been instructed to note if the words “tithe” and "blessing" are uttered more than the customary 30 times. We expect to report back sometime early next week.

In closing, I want to thank all of our readers for your prayers and encouragement. Without your help, this blog would not be possible. Here is a Bible verse to sustain you through tomorrows fund raising sermon.

Pope, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith. – 1 Timothy 1: 18-19

Man Down! Man Down!

Posted on December 17th, 2004 by catalyst into the When We Quit category

Well foks, we took a hit today. Reformed Pope has been attacked. And I blame myself. Its my fault. I never should have sent him up there alone.

He went up to face the leadership of CBC, all by himself.

But he was fired up, he was studied up, and he was ready to go. He had his Bible. He had his beliefs. And in the past two weeks, I had noticed a change. At some point, I think he really started to believe he was Martin Luther.

All day today I awaited his call. What happened at the meeting? I needed to know. I spent the whole day staring at the phone. One o’clock became two o’clock, became 3. Still no phone call. No update.

I started to panic. I called his wife. Is he still alive? What happened? She had no answers. Finally around 4:00 I got a call.

Folks, the proud soldier that woke up today, taking on a Church that acts more like a corporation than a ministry. That proud soldier was dead. What spoke through the phone was a wounded warrior. A scared man. They had got to him. They had manipulated him.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!”, I screamed.

“They threatened me and they told me I hurt them,” he responded.

“Of course you hurt them,” I screamed back. “THE TRUTH HURTS!”

I yelled a little longer but couldn’t rekindle his fire.

Because it was his conversation, I’ll let Reformed Pope blog the details of his talk with the elders. But sufficed to say, he is having serious reservations about continuing this blog, and he may drop out.

Before I go, let me fill you in on something. Pope is my younger brother. For twenty-six years we’ve been brothers. We grew up home-schooled kids in a tough urban neighborhood. And the two of us have run away from more fights than Ghandi and Mother Theresa combined.

We’re good kids, who don’t really want to fight.

Well, I love the Pope and today I’m picking up his sword. And I’m fighting for him

I’m not running, and I’m not stopping. No matter Pope’s decision. I’m sticking around to see this thing through.

Call my parents, City Business. File a lawsuit.

This is a righteous anger. And for once I’m not backing down.

You are the antithesis of Christ’s message. Christ spoke about love and compassion. You speak about riches and personal glory. You threaten anyone who disagrees with you.

You are wrong. Your message is wrong. And you need to stop.