Reader Fred Flintstone brought to our attention a rather clever web site that is a parody on modern church life in the style of "The More You Know" PSA's on NBC.

The Church You Know

Of course, one of the videos deals with the tithe, but there are plenty of other things made fun of in these videos as well. The "Attendance" video was especially funny. I'm sure we can all think of someone at Church we would love to identify as the rectum* in the body of Christ.

Of course, the best part of their tithe parody is boiling down modern prosperity-tithing thought into a single phrase: "That's why God invented the tithe: to bless us."

*(Getting to type rectum in a church blog just makes me very happy.)

Here is an email from Dutch Sheets apologizing on behalf of the charasmatic community.

It's a little long winded, and he gets into an issue with the Lakeland Church that I don't really understand. But his points at the end are excellent:

1) We, the leaders of the charismatic community, have operated in an extremely low level of discernment.

That is correct.

2) We, the leaders of the charismatic church, spin our involvement and fail to acknowledge our responsibility when other leaders fall - all of which stems from our self-preservation and pride.

Uh, fo shizzo.

3) Our procedures and standards of accountability are incredibly inadequate. We have provided camaraderie, not biblical accountability. 

But you all have pretty hair, so I think Jesus is cool with it.

4) We, the leaders of the charismatic church, have built on hype, sensation, innovation, programs, personality and charisma.

Apology accepted.

Thanks to Henri and Pastor Burt.

Updated:

Oh, and I almost forgot.

TOUCH NOT THY ANNOINTED! 

Since I am a pure independent voter who leans to the right economically and to the left socially, I have been in some great discussions with my family, friends, and co-workers about Sen. McCain's pick for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin.  On one side I hear that she is good for the Republican party because she is a true right winger and can give the party some credibility since she is the first woman with an actual chance of holding office in the executive branch of government, but then on the other side I hear that she is a terrible choice because she hurts McCain's platform that he is the more experienced candidate.

Since I am a big Obama supporter for this election I find it hard to see past Palin's minimal political background, hardcore right wing beliefs, and what seems to be increasingly questionable personal issues.  But maybe some of our readers out there can help me see the light.

Tell me, is Palin the right choice for the Republicans?  Why or why not?

Larry Asplund is one of those rare individuals who has actively taken part in seeing the Church transformed over the past few decades. After being part of the Jesus' People movement and pastoring, he's become a lettered instructor and mentor for thousands of people who appreciate his unique teaching style and brand of humor. Being a self-labeled "Progressive Christian" Larry is actively pursuing his passion for change withing the Church and has recently released a new book entitled, "Transformers: Local Congregations As Agents of Community Transformation / Keys from the Letters to the Seven Churches of Asia". 

Larry has commented on our little blog in the past and helped to bring good sense back to a few wild discussions. I know there are many of our readers who really appreciate him, so I know this little plug won't fall on deaf ears. Larry is keeping mum about the details so far (for legal reasons I'm sure), but it's no secret that Beacon University, where he is VP of Academic Affairs (and probably still teaching classes to eager students), will be closing its doors after this academic year. I don't know what this means for Larry, but I couldn't help but take this opportunity to take a moment and ask you to check out the blog for his book and maybe even place an order. I know I'll probably be ordering at least one copy to support someone who is actively pursuing positive change in the Church.

http://transformersthebook.blogspot.com/

Here is a picture I found on flickr. The caption to this photo said:

Pastor Donna playing a violin prophetically over Pastor Joel 

Now, I'm going to jump to a few conclusions here, and would love if someone who was there could actually clarify…but…

If you ever need proof that these "Conferences" and "Churches" are nothing but hype, see the above caption. How in the hell do you "play a violin prophetically"? What was the violin saying? Was there someone to interpret the Violin Prophet? Do these people even know what the word Prophetic means?

And look at the picture of the Pastor, sitting there as though King David were anointing his head with Holy Oil…it's a violin buddy…it's just music…its emotion…it's all hype. I'm sure it was a beautiful song…but I'm curious what it told him?

Here is my guess to how that all went:

Violin Prophet: Hum, hum, hum, hum…hum, hum…

Pastor Joel: Yes Lord.

Violin Prophet: Hum, hum, hum, hum…HUM!!! HUM!!! HUM!!!! (crowd screams wildly)

Pastor Joel: (Raising hands above his head) Thank you Jesus! I receive this word.

Violin Prophet: Hum, hum, hum, hum. (Pastor Joel begins to cry, Violin is placed back in its case).

The End

Give me a break.

Integrity Bank, a christ-centered Bank in Georgia, failed last Friday and was shut down by state regulators.

The banks philosophy:

"We felt if we prayed and obeyed God’s word and did what He asked, that He would help us be successful,” the bank’s founder, Steve Skow, told the Journal-Constitution in 2005. 

Mr. Skow would do well to learn the word's of Job, when God took away all his success.  

"Naked I have come from mothers womb and Naked I will depart. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!"

Job 1:21

—- 

Atlanta Journal Constitution 

http://tinyurl.com/5tc5qy

Chris sends in this link to a Christian whose house is in foreclosure. And the home-owner does not know what to do.

The Homeowner asks, "So what do we do, as Christians?  Are we getting what we deserve?  Are the greedy builders partly to blame?  The banks who were unwilling to negotiate their rates back down or do short sales?  

What I know is that I have to start looking for a rental home, moving my family and belongings, and repairing my credit.  And we are very stressed."

This guy is absolutely doing the right thing by walking away from his home. But ultimately, it’s his fault. It’s not the banks fault. It’s not the builders fault. He bought a home he couldn’t afford, and now he’s paying the price. 

Next time, don’t buy more house than you can afford.  I’m not sure that’s in the Bible, but it should be. 

With the upcoming 3-day weekend, I thought it would appropriate to post something fun for a change.

Guitar Praise

Because who doesn't want to rock out to your favorite Chris Tomlin or David Crowder worship songs? Now when you sing "I will become more undignified than this" while flailing your plastic guitar, people will understand you completely. The only thing missing is some classic Stryper so you can belt out "To Hell with the Devil".

A City Business regular recently had this to say:

Until leadership gets over themselves and stops taking up all of their congregations time by expecting them to be in church “every time the doors are open” things will never change. I believe there are a lot of selfless caring people in church that would gladly sacrifice their lives for others but they have been brainwashed into thinking that they are in the will of God by sacrificing their lives for the church.

I have to say, I couldn't agree more.  When I was a youth pastor/leader at a semi-connected MFI church in Portland, I spent 5 out of 7 nights a week doing church related things.  At first I was completely psyched about it.  I felt like I was truly living God's calling on my life.  But after a year or so I started to get burned out.  I was getting paid pennies, working many long days, and had very few non-christian friends.  I became claustrophobic as I was constantly surrounded by Christian things.  At that time I was too naive in my understanding of the Gospel to get what was truly wrong.  Now 10 years later I realize what it was.  I was dedicated to the external and not the internal.  I wanted to please people and not Christ.  The church had become my entire life and I had completely shut out the outside world.  I was one of those brainwashed people who sacrificed my life for the church - all in the name of living righteous, yet I was empty.

When I finally left that church and helped start The Well in NE Portland, I discovered what working for and going to church was truly about.  I only went into the office a few hours a week.  I was there for only a few hours on Sundays.  I felt little to no pressure as a leader in the congregation.  Why?  Because there was no expectations for me to be anything other then myself.  Everyone understood that the church was just our meeting place, not our final destination.  There was no ego, or pride, or attention seekers.  None of the other bull sh*t that took place at my former churches went on at my new church.  The focus was on Jesus, people, and the truth of the Gospel.  Sure we had idiots and knuckle-heads in the congregation (what church doesn't?), but funny thing was they never seemed to stay around very long.  Eventually they went back to the churches they came from because the traditional human-centered, works-based Christianity that they were seeking did not exist, and those people didn't know how to handle it.  They waited week after week for someone to acknowledge their "goodness" or put them on a pedestal as being an important member of the church and when that didn't happen, they left.

I say all that to say this.  Yes, church is a place made up of weak, sick, sinful people so there is no perfect church.  However, there are good churches that put Jesus first and foremost.  Not in words, but in actions.  These churches constantly preach the cross.  They focus not on what we can do for Him, but what He has already done for us.  They do not exists for money or attention and don't run like a business.  There are no big conferences, futuristic websites, weekly entertaining celebrity speakers, or pastors who demand the spotlight.  There's just Jesus.  And for the people who work for and attend these churches, that's all they really care about.

So if you find yourself attending a church that loves Jesus and people more then anything else, hold onto it with dear life.  There are few around.